Help!

MikeAndKatWedding · April 2013

So I got engaged in Jan, and we set a date for June. My problem is that my wedding party is promising me things and then telling me last minute they can't do what they promised. I'm not getting any help finaicallly or even creativly from these girls. And to top it all off they question every single decision I make, which seems to be the only imput I get. I have less than 11 weeks til the wedding.... what do I do, I have asked for them now to not make promises to me if they are just going to break it. And to send me ideas, they sent me one, streamers.... I'm frustrated, and about to give up. I even changed the dresses I wanted so everyone could afford one, which is under $20. What do I do? Do I give up and just come to terms with the fact that my friend's don't really care?

Maggie0829 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d2d3dcb-3fe4-4234-9655-9334d4222865Post:77b5cc64-a57e-4463-b6d8-62b488d44a35">Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]So I got engaged in Jan, and we set a date for June. My problem is that my wedding party is promising me things and then telling me last minute they can't do what they promised.<strong> I'm not getting any help finaicallly</strong> or even creativly from these girls. And to top it all off they question every single decision I make, which seems to be the only imput I get. I have less than 11 weeks til the wedding.... what do I do, I have asked for them now to not make promises to me if they are just going to break it. And to send me ideas, they sent me one, streamers.... I'm frustrated, and about to give up. I even changed the dresses I wanted so everyone could afford one, which is under $20. What do I do? Do I give up and just come to terms with the fact that my friend's don't really care?
Posted by MikeAndKatWedding[/QUOTE]

To the bolded...what? Do you expect them to help pay for your wedding? Because if you do, that is ridiculous.

It is you and your FI job to plan your wedding, not your BMs.

In the beginning, a wedding buzz occurs, but once that buzz goes away things that may have been promised or "volunteered" at the time tend to go away as well. People have their own lives and planning someone elses wedding gets a bit tiring and definitely not as interesting as planning your own.

Your friends do care about your wedding. They just don't care about it as much as you do, because no one will care as much about your wedding as you and your FI will.

As for the dresses, did you ask them their budget before you picked anything? If not, shame on you.

As for them making comments about your decisions, this is an easy fix. Just stop talking about the wedding to them. If they don't know your plans then they can't comment on them.

MikeAndKatWedding · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d2d3dcb-3fe4-4234-9655-9334d4222865Post:290710e5-9ee9-49c4-9491-03e3c59564ab">Re: Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Help! : To the bolded...what? Do you expect them to help pay for your wedding? Because if you do, that is ridiculous. It is you and your FI job to plan your wedding, not your BMs. In the beginning, a wedding buzz occurs, but once that buzz goes away things that may have been promised or "volunteered" at the time tend to go away as well. People have their own lives and planning someone elses wedding gets a bit tiring and definitely not as interesting as planning your own. Your friends do care about your wedding. They just don't care about it as much as you do, because no one will care as much about your wedding as you and your FI will. As for the dresses, did you ask them their budget before you picked anything? If not, shame on you. As for them making comments about your decisions, this is an easy fix. Just stop talking about the wedding to them. If they don't know your plans then they can't comment on them.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

No I don't want them to pay for my wedding and nor have I asked them too, my wedding party has offered to help with things, and then all turned around and back out of what they said they would do something. As far as budget for the dresses go, the dresses are $19.00 All have offered to pay for their own dress, and no buget has been talked about. I didn't think we needed to talk to my BP about a $19.00 dress.... And I understand the "buzz" thing but it's disconcerning to me to be offered help and then being told last minute. If I can't talk to my bridal party about the wedding, who am I supposed to ask?

renegade gaucho · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d2d3dcb-3fe4-4234-9655-9334d4222865Post:1372701e-8c00-4af1-bedd-cb1fc61468b7">Re: Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]. If I can't talk to my bridal party about the wedding, who am I supposed to ask?
Posted by MikeAndKatWedding[/QUOTE]

How about the groom?

saric83 · April 2013

Your bridesmaids are in the wedding for you to honor them as your closest friends, not to help you plan the wedding. I know it's hard when you want them to be more involved and excited, but it's not their job to talk with you about the wedding stuff. And that sucks they volunteered to help with things and now aren't helping, but there's nothing you can do about it, but keep chugging ahead and finishing your planning.

If you need to talk with people about it, talk to your FI or come on here where there are tons of peope who love weddings and chatting about them.

Good luck!

Maggie0829 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-25?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4d2d3dcb-3fe4-4234-9655-9334d4222865Post:1372701e-8c00-4af1-bedd-cb1fc61468b7">Re: Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help! : No I don't want them to pay for my wedding and nor have I asked them too, my wedding party has offered to help with things, and then all turned around and back out of what they said they would do something. As far as budget for the dresses go, the dresses are $19.00 All have offered to pay for their own dress, and no buget has been talked about. I didn't think we needed to talk to my BP about a $19.00 dress.... And I understand the "buzz" thing but it's disconcerning to me to be offered help and then being told last minute. If I can't talk to my bridal party about the wedding, who am I supposed to ask?
Posted by MikeAndKatWedding[/QUOTE]

Then why the statement of not getting any help financially?

As for the dresses, why did you have to change your mind on the dress if it was under their budget in the first place? Didn't sound like it was and once they made it clear that they couldn't afford it you had to change your mind. You would have saved yourself a load of stress if you had just asked their budget in the first place.

And I agree with PP. You talk to your groom about the wedding since, you know, it is his wedding too.

KatWAG · April 2013

I think you need to come to terms with the fact that no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are.

AddieCake · April 2013

Stop discussing the wedding with them. Then they can't criticize your ideas. Don't believe them when they offer to do something. Then when they back out, you will not be let down.

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