HELP Please... Need Opinions!?

Re: HELP Please... Need Opinions!?

• kelceya member

  

  April 2013 edited April 2013

  Hello, and welcome! Like you I'm new to planning a DW, so I can only offer my personal experiences and opinions rather than veteran advice. However, it seems to me that the answer to your problem lies in the reasons you chose to have a DW. For example, our wedding is set abroad not because we want to escape the big expensive wedding at home with loads of guests we barely know, but because our families are far-flung and we wanted to make it easy for as many guests as possible to attend.
  
  With that in mind, we also looked at some absolutely gorgeous venues with reasonable all-inclusive packages but high accommodation prices and in the end had to turn them down in favor of better hotel deals for our guests. Since one of our core goals was to make travel easy for everyone, this made sense for us; if it's the same for you, I would recommend continuing your search, or talking to hotel staff about flexibility in accommodation prices. If, however, you're more focused on keeping your guest list small and enjoying an intimate celebration that is just to your tastes, go for it! I know how hard it is to close the browser window on the venue of your dreams
  
  I hope this helped and didn't just lead you in circles! Best of luck, I'm sure it will be beautiful either way.

  
  

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• Meg&Austin member

  

  April 2013

  Welcome and congrats! I know a couple resorts we have stayed had and the one were getting married at have sister resorts that the guests can actually spend time at as well, during the day. Does yours happen to have this? 

  
  

  For example, we stayed at a Riu in mexico and in Playa del Carman there were four sister resorts along the beach. So as we would always sleep and eat dinner at the one we booked, we could spend any day we wanted at one of the other resorts. 

  
  

  I hope this makes sense! I am not sure what chain your looking at but maybe its an option to look into. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• Julyet06 member

  

  April 2013 edited April 2013

  I had the same issue that you have.  Both DH's and my family live on a tight budget. They ended up not being able to afford the stay at the resort we chose for the wedding (Sandals) and found a resort nearby (the Riu) which cost less.  Out of the 30 people that attended our wedding, 26 stayed at the Riu and 4 stayed with us at Sandals. 
  
  We gave everyone more than a year's notice and made sure to tell them all that our resort will charge a fee to enter the resort.  The cost of our day passes was $85 for a half day or $130 for a full day. Once we knew how many people chose to stay at the Riu, DH and I knew that we could not afford to pay $85 per person for 26 people.  We kept reminding our guests that there is a fee to enter the resort.  Some people say it is poor ettiquette to make the guests pay the day pass, but I don't see it that way.  Of course, some of our guests did grumble about this fee, even on the day of acted surprised that they had to pay but we didn't let it get to us. 
  
  We notified all guests over a year before the wedding date that we were going to have a destination wedding, ample enough time to save for the trip and notified them of the day pass fee as soon as we chose the resort.  As long as our "VIP" people guaranteed that they would be able to save up the money to make it, we were okay with anyone else that weren't able to make it due to the cost.
  
  How far out are you from the date you want?  Is it an all inclusive resort?  Have you priced the flights? 

  

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• [Deleted User]

  

  April 2013

  <div>Hey- I am actually looking into the RIU Santa Fe in Cabo right now.. Reasonable rates and good reviews.. thoughts?</div><div>
  </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_help-please-need-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:84637fa0-7dc5-476f-a1dd-8fc466cc5eeaPost:0eccaa95-e209-4f52-8cd5-b803363fb198">Re: HELP Please... Need Opinions!?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Welcome and congrats! I know a couple resorts we have stayed had and the one were getting married at have sister resorts that the guests can actually spend time at as well, during the day. Does yours happen to have this?  For example, we stayed at a Riu in mexico and in Playa del Carman there were four sister resorts along the beach. So as we would always sleep and eat dinner at the one we booked, we could spend any day we wanted at one of the other resorts.  I hope this makes sense! I am not sure what chain your looking at but maybe its an option to look into. 
  Posted by Meg&Austin[/QUOTE]

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• [Deleted User]

  

  April 2013

  <div>We were thinking about paying the fee becase yes we did feel it was poor ettiqute but then decided were just going to find a resort that is affordable instead and we ended up finding one in Cabo. I'm hoping for the best here, we decided we'll stay there and hang with guests for a few days and then head over to our honeymoon alone at another reallllly nice hotel. Were your guests that stayed at another resort mad that they didnt really see you on vaca?</div><div>
  </div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_help-please-need-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:84637fa0-7dc5-476f-a1dd-8fc466cc5eeaPost:1393a980-c816-4c31-b0ba-23a91240ec19">Re: HELP Please... Need Opinions!?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I had the same issue that you have.  Both DH's and my family live on a tight budget. They ended up not being able to afford the stay at the resort we chose for the wedding (Sandals) and found a resort nearby (the Riu) which cost less.  Out of the 30 people that attended our wedding, 26 stayed at the Riu and 4 stayed with us at Sandals.  We gave everyone more than a year's notice and made sure to tell them all that our resort will charge a fee to enter the resort.  The cost of our day passes was $85 for a half day or $130 for a full day. Once we knew how many people chose to stay at the Riu, DH and I knew that we could not afford to pay $85 per person for 26 people.  We kept reminding our guests that there is a fee to enter the resort.  Some people say it is poor ettiquette to make the guests pay the day pass, but I don't see it that way.  Of course, some of our guests did grumble about this fee, even on the day of acted surprised that they had to pay but we didn't let it get to us.  We notified all guests over a year before the wedding date that we were going to have a destination wedding, ample enough time to save for the trip and notified them of the day pass fee as soon as we chose the resort.  As long as our "VIP" people guaranteed that they would be able to save up the money to make it, we were okay with anyone else that weren't able to make it due to the cost. How far out are you from the date you want?  Is it an all inclusive resort?  Have you priced the flights? 
  Posted by Julyet06[/QUOTE]

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• Julyet06 member

  

  April 2013

  On the contrary they actually wanted to give out our space to enjoy our honeymoon.  some of DH's closest friends ended up paying for a full day pass the day before the wedding to hang out with DH all day.  That same day, I spend on an excursion with my family from 8am to 5pm and got back to my resort with enough time to be with DH and everyone else that had paid the pass to stay at our resort for the day (they were able to stay from 10am to 2am the following morning!)  DH also went to the Riu to spend a few hours one evening with his mom, that same evening I went to a local club with whoever wanted to go. 
  
  Anyone we didn't get to hang out with like that were fine with seeing us just on the wedding day.  All in all, we found that our friends and family really didn't want to impose on our honeymoon so it worked out that they found a cheaper resort nearby so we had about 6 days alone and then 3 nights 2 days with whoever decided to be with us, including the day of the wedding. 
  
  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_help-please-need-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:84637fa0-7dc5-476f-a1dd-8fc466cc5eeaPost:a85b9085-7016-4204-8707-e8949d096b14">Re: HELP Please... Need Opinions!?</a>:
  [QUOTE]We were thinking about paying the fee becase yes we did feel it was poor ettiqute but then decided were just going to find a resort that is affordable instead and we ended up finding one in Cabo. I'm hoping for the best here, we decided we'll stay there and hang with guests for a few days and then head over to our honeymoon alone at another reallllly nice hotel. Were your guests that stayed at another resort mad that they didnt really see you on vaca? In Response to Re: HELP Please... Need Opinions!? :
  Posted by futuremrskoryta[/QUOTE]

  

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• [Deleted User]

  

  April 2013

  Thanks so much everyone for the feedback and help.. I have pretty much narrowed it down to Riu Santa Fe for wedding and a few days to spend with family (more affordable) and then the two of us will go on a seperate honeymoon to either Secrets or Pueblo Bonita Pacifica and just be alone for the remainder of the trip. I really hope this all works out for the best. 

  
  

  The reason its a bigger deal than usual to be with family and friends is because I moved across the country and never see them. Some I wont have seen in years by the time the wedding happens so its kind of a big deal to have everyone together and spend time, if that makes sense.. 

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• kelceya member

  

  April 2013

  That sounds like a good plan, and a great compromise! I totally get what you mean, my FI and I talked about having a just-us-and-attendants wedding someplace really far-flung, but I couldn't get used to the idea of passing up one of our best and possibly only chances to get all of our loved ones from all over the place together at once. Good luck, and congratulations!

  
  

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