Need Help Deciding What To Do Here... Help?

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Hi all! So here's our deal.. We want to have a destination wedding. We have searched high and low, and I mean WEEKS if not longer, of endless research about different locations, resorts, wedding packages, pricing... You name it, we've become expert on now lol!! Here is where the problem comes along.. There's really only one chain of resorts we loved and offered an AMAZING wedding package. BUT!!! The resort is kind of pricey and our guests are not very well off and are on a tight budget in day to day life.. We really, really have looked everywhere and even considered getting married at a lower price/quality resort and then after a few days well go on to a honeymoon alone at a better resort.. but in the end the wedding wouldn't be what we wanted/hoped for..

Do we compromise our wedding to fit the budget of our guests, OR do we make accommodations that we want, knowing a lot of our guests wont afford that resort?? (The resort averages about 350-400 a night I believe)

In order for the guests to attend our wedding at that resort if they're staying at another resort is $94 per person which I feel obligated to pay for and its going to cost us A LOT more than we bargained for..

WERE STUCK! HELP!??

hoffse · April 2013

If the resort has a day-pass fee, you should pay for it. Honestly most destination weddings I hear about have very very few people show up because yes it's expensive - frankly, the only destination wedding I would attend would be one of FI's brothers (I have no siblings). For us it's not really the dollar cost, but the "expense" in terms of time off. FI and I try to take a big trip each year, and we each really only get 7-10 days. Attending a wedding at a resort, while nice, would seriously cut into that and we tend to favor going to Europe over an AI for an annual trip.

If you really want a lot of people there, get married locally and honeymoon at the resort. If you want the destination wedding experience, then be prepared for it to be you, your immediate families, and maybe a random friend or two who has the time and money to attend. If more come, great, but don't set yourself up for that expectation because you might be really disappointed.

Unfortuately, weddings have trade-offs. It sounds like you're in the early planning stages. My best advice is to have as few expectations as possible - because when you don't have high expectations, the day will be surprisingly lovely and you will walk away with nice memories. But the longer your list of "must haves" gets, the more likely you are to be disppointed when you have to make compromises. And you WILL be making many compromises along the way. A wedding with all your guests versus a wedding at the location of your choice is one of those compromises.

MrsGandthebeag · April 2013

It's really up to you whether you value how your wedding looks vs how many guests you'll have. A wedding invitation is not a summons. So, if you pick the expensive place and people can't afford it, they will decline. It's really up to you.

Jells2dot0 · April 2013

I agree with the other pps and I know what you're thinking because I had a DW as well. I recommend posting this over on the destination weddings board, which is under Wedding theme boards. I read a post over there in the last few months from one girl who ended up booking something more in budget range for thje guests' sake and then almost noone RVSPed yes. She was devastated because she gave up what she wanted to accommodate others and it was a total bust. She ended up canceling those plans and is now doing what she wants. A DW can be lots of fun but you certainly have to compromise. I just recommend following your heart.

dalm0m · April 2013

The whole point of a destination wedding is that you don't expect people to come. If that's the destination you want, expect it will be you two & if you're lucky your best man & maid of honor, maybe your parents Period.

If you want all these people there & you care about their budgets, get married at home & have a "traditional" reception. Renew your vows at the resort if you like.

Seriously, at $400 per night plus air fare, few people who aren't on a budget will come to your wedding.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Thanks everyone for your opinions. Much appreciated. I ended up finding a hotel in Cabo San Lucas, that is a RIU and affordable and offers nice weddings. The reason I asked the question in the first place IS because I have family and friends that will come but only if its an affordable option. So we'll see how this plays out!

alithebride · April 2013

dh and i did not have a DW as we had intended to do because having many members of our family who wouldn't be able to go was far more important than the location. but that's us. if the location is more important to yuo then go and enjoy.

TravelingJen · April 2013

We recently had a destination wedding in Playa del Carmen at the Riu Palace Riviera Maya in November. While it wasn't the nicest hotel and not one I would stay at on my own personal vacation, it was moderately priced, enabling many of our friends and family to come to the wedding. We had a total of 40 guests, which far surpassed our expectations. Had we picked a higher cost resort I know that we would have had far less guests attend.

sabrinacar · April 2013

*Removed for TOS Violation*

Need Help Deciding What To Do Here... Help?

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