Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law

cjeffery193 · March 2013

Kinda long...sorry but I need some input on how to handle the situation.

So my future brother & sister in laws son is going to be our ringbearer. These people are so self-centered and selfish that I really cannot even put it into words. And that's not even based on this situation. They have known about the wedding and that the brother in law and the nephew would be in the wedding at least 15 months prior to our wedding this May. Once we picked the tuxes, we sent info to all of the groomsmen on what they needed to do and how much $ it would cost. The ringbearers tux is the same price as the groomsmens tuxes, which is $140. Not too bad in my opinion since that's what my girls are paying for dresses, but I did expect that the ringbearers tux would be slightly less than the groomsmens. But it's out of our hands and we have no control over the cost.

My future in laws live several states away and we rarely see them execept at family events once or twice a year. We recently saw them at a family funreal. They had the nerve to corner my fiance and I at the funreal to discuss the price of the ringbearers tux and complain about how much it cost. Now, we had literally just driven 10 hours to get to the funreal. I had not even gotten a chance to say hi to everyone or even pay my final repsects to the deceased. The future sister in law actually had the nerve to say to me that our wedding was really costing them a lot of money since they had to stay at a hotel (because their own parents won't even put them up for a few days, this is how arrogant and selfish they are). So then she asked if the ringbearer could wear a black suit. By this point I was so tired from driving 10 hours and frustrated with them that I just nodded my head and walked away, not even really paying attention to what they were saying.

After we find out that they are planning to forego the tux for the ringbearer and just get a black suite, I'm putting my foot down. They have had plenty of time to save for this and I get it, weddings are expensive. But what really pisses me off is that literally almost every weekend they are traveling somewhere to go to the beach or visit friends. Last weekend they were at Disneyworld, this weekend they are at a beach house. It's a matter of priorities and apperently his only brothers wedding isn't a priority. Even though my fiance has been in two of his brothers weddings, paying for tuxes and to travel both times.

My fiance is trying to handle the situation, but he is being really nice about it. Meanwhile they are posting pictures of their beach house and the view from their deck while they are sipping beers on facebook. I am seriously condsidering sending an email or calling them to say if they don't get the tux the kid isn't in the wedding and you need to explain why. But then I feel like I'm punishing the kid and he can't help that his parents are jacka$$es.

What should I do????

SlothGoals · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:535b2de8-0af8-4ffc-8b34-9d516683a3d5">Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]Kinda long...sorry but I need some input on how to handle the situation. So my future brother & sister in laws son is going to be our ringbearer. These people are so self-centered and selfish that I really cannot even put it into words. And that's not even based on this situation. They have known about the wedding and that the brother in law and the nephew would be in the wedding at least 15 months prior to our wedding this May. Once we picked the tuxes, we sent info to all of the groomsmen on what they needed to do and how much $ it would cost. <strong>The ringbearers tux is the same price as the groomsmens tuxes, which is $140.</strong> Not too bad in my opinion since that's what my girls are paying for dresses, but I did expect that the ringbearers tux would be slightly less than the groomsmens. But it's out of our hands and we have no control over the cost. My future in laws live several states away and we rarely see them execept at family events once or twice a year. We recently saw them at a family funreal. They had the nerve to corner my fiance and I at the funreal to discuss the price of the ringbearers tux and complain about how much it cost. Now, we had literally just driven 10 hours to get to the funreal. I had not even gotten a chance to say hi to everyone or even pay my final repsects to the deceased. The future sister in law actually had the nerve to say to me that our wedding was really costing them a lot of money since they had to stay at a hotel (because their own parents won't even put them up for a few days, this is how arrogant and selfish they are). So then she asked if the ringbearer could wear a black suit. By this point I was so tired from driving 10 hours and frustrated with them that <strong>I just nodded my head and walked away, not even really paying attention to what they were saying.</strong> After we find out that they are planning to forego the tux for the ringbearer and just get a black suite, I'm putting my foot down. They have had plenty of time to save for this and I get it, weddings are expensive. <strong> But what really pisses me off is that literally almost every weekend they are traveling somewhere to go to the beach or visit friends. Last weekend they were at Disneyworld, this weekend they are at a beach house.</strong> It's a matter of priorities and apperently his only brothers wedding isn't a priority. Even though my fiance has been in two of his brothers weddings, paying for tuxes and to travel both times. My fiance is trying to handle the situation, but he is being really nice about it. Meanwhile they are posting pictures of their beach house and the view from their deck while they are sipping beers on facebook. <strong> I am seriously condsidering sending an email or calling them to say if they don't get the tux the kid isn't in the wedding and you need to explain why. But then I feel like I'm punishing the kid and he can't help that his parents are jacka$$es.</strong> What should I do????
Posted by cjeffery193[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Okay, you need to slow your roll and relax. You're coming off as demanding and whiny. No one will care about your wedding as much as you do.</div><div>
</div><div>1st bolded: that's A LOT of money for an outfit for a kid.</div><div>
</div><div>2nd bolded: it's unfortunately your fault for not paying attention to what she was saying. You nodded your head when she asked if he could wear a black suit. Nodding your head is the universal sign for "yes"</div><div>
</div><div>3rd bolded: how they spend their money is absolutely none of your business. Yes, their life takes priority over your wedding for them; so does everyone elses.</div><div>
</div><div>4th bolded: don't do that. nobody will care what your RB is wearing except for you and if you do send that email I guarantee <strong>you</strong> will be the one who looks like a jacka**. You won't even notice what the RB is wearing on your wedding day.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: Clarity</div><div>
</div>

zizibet · March 2013

140.00 is ridiculous for a kids tux. It is in your hands-you should have asked them for a budget and worked with that.
How dare they spend thier money on things they want to do and not on your wedding.
Get over yourself. . You're the selfish one here. They shouldn't have collared you at a funeral, but they're in the right here.

zizibet · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:535b2de8-0af8-4ffc-8b34-9d516683a3d5">Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]Kinda long...sorry but I need some input on how to handle the situation. So my future brother & sister in laws son is going to be our ringbearer. These people are so self-centered and selfish that I really cannot even put it into words. And that's not even based on this situation. They have known about the wedding and that the brother in law and the nephew would be in the wedding at least 15 months prior to our wedding this May. Once we picked the tuxes, we sent info to all of the groomsmen on what they needed to do and how much $ it would cost. The ringbearers tux is the same price as the groomsmens tuxes, which is $140. Not too bad in my opinion since that's what my girls are paying for dresses, but I did expect that the ringbearers tux would be slightly less than the groomsmens. But it's out of our hands and we have no control over the cost. My future in laws live several states away and we rarely see them execept at family events once or twice a year. We recently saw them at a family funreal. They had the nerve to corner my fiance and I at the funreal to discuss the price of the ringbearers tux and complain about how much it cost. Now, we had literally just driven 10 hours to get to the funreal. I had not even gotten a chance to say hi to everyone or even pay my final repsects to the deceased. The future sister in law actually had the nerve to say to me that our wedding was really costing them a lot of money since they had to stay at a hotel (because their own parents won't even put them up for a few days, this is how arrogant and selfish they are). So then she asked if the ringbearer could wear a black suit. By this point I was so tired from driving 10 hours and frustrated with them that I just nodded my head and walked away, not even really paying attention to what they were saying. After we find out that they are planning to forego the tux for the ringbearer and just get a black suite, I'm putting my foot down. They have had plenty of time to save for this and I get it, weddings are expensive. But what really pisses me off is that literally almost every weekend they are traveling somewhere to go to the beach or visit friends. Last weekend they were at Disneyworld, this weekend they are at a beach house. It's a matter of priorities and apperently his only brothers wedding isn't a priority. Even though my fiance has been in two of his brothers weddings, paying for tuxes and to travel both times. My fiance is trying to handle the situation, but he is being really nice about it. Meanwhile they are posting pictures of their beach house and the view from their deck while they are sipping beers on facebook. I am seriously condsidering sending an email or calling them to say if they don't get the tux the kid isn't in the wedding and you need to explain why. But then I feel like I'm punishing the kid and he can't help that his parents are jacka$$es. What should I do????
Posted by cjeffery193[/QUOTE]
JIC

cjeffery193 · March 2013

I appreciate the feedback. It wasn't my intention to come off in any of the ways that either of you refered to me. But asking for their budget is something that I have honestly never heard of. I've been in 10+ weddings and no one has ever asked what my budget was. It's usually pretty understood that money will be involved and you do it because it's someone that you care about or love.

I get that it's alot of $ for a kid, but for the groomsmen, that's average where we live. And you are right, that day I really won't care, but I'm worried that in the future I will notice looking back at pics.

You are also right again, it isn't any of my business how they spend their money, but they certainly aren't going to get any sympathy from me when I know how many other things are going on.

And perhaps it didn't translate, but this is among a string of things that they have recently pulled. Everyone, meaning their parents, are telling us to put our foot down. Esentially this is the final straw with them with us and alot of other people, and perhaps I should have addressed this a bit more in my original post.

MobKaz · March 2013

Typically in our area, almost every tux rental store has a "rent X tuxes, get the Xth one free" deals. If you are adamant that the ring bearer wear a tux, why not let his tux be the free one?

We did this with my nephew. Both he and his sister were in the wedding party, and we did not want the family to incur that many expenses.

SlothGoals · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:c3171b71-8ae7-4dc5-b39f-8da3104c0a53">Re: Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]I appreciate the feedback. It wasn't my intention to come off in any of the ways that either of you refered to me. But asking for their budget is something that I have honestly never heard of. I've been in 10+ weddings and no one has ever asked what my budget was. It's usually pretty understood that money will be involved and you do it because it's someone that you care about or love. I get that it's alot of $ for a kid, but for the groomsmen, that's average where we live. <strong>And you are right, that day I really won't care, but I'm worried that in the future I will notice looking back at pics.</strong> You are also right again, it isn't any of my business how they spend their money, <strong>but they certainly aren't going to get any sympathy from me when I know how many other things are going on. </strong> And perhaps it didn't translate, but this is among a string of things that they have recently pulled. Everyone, meaning their parents, are telling us to put our foot down. Esentially this is the final straw with them with us and alot of other people, and perhaps I should have addressed this a bit more in my original post.
Posted by cjeffery193[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>If you're looking at wedding pictures in the future and thinking "Damn, I wish that RB was wearing a tux" then you've definitely gotten your priorities mixed up.</div><div>
</div><div>To the second bolded, that's a really schitty thing to say. They can spend their money however they choose. They're not choosing to spend it on a piece of attire that will be worn for 8 hours and that's totally their prerogative.</div><div>
</div><div>If you kick out the RB your nephew will forever remember your wedding as the one he wasn't wanted in. Is that something you're comfortable with?</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

Angelface225 · March 2013

Kristbot has given you awesome advice and a really well thought out answer. I hope you take her suggestions.

As much as you "see them going away every weekend" you really can never know the whole situation. If you're that concerned about the nephew's attire, you could offer to pay for the rental or buy him a bowtie to go with the suit. For $140 I would rather purchase a suit too, at least there's the chance it will get used again.

jaenella · March 2013

As PP have said, you should have asked them for a budget initially. You've already agreed he can wear a suit and now you want to go back on that? If you really want the kid in a tux, you should cover the cost yourself, or ask their budget and either 1) find a tux in that budget or 2) cover the cost of the tux you want that is over that budget.

Whether they'd been selfish in the past, I can't say, and perhaps your response was based more on past frustrations than the current situation. However, based on the situation you've described, you are in the wrong here - not them, and you are the one who sounds selfish. The way they choose to spend their money is ENTIRELY their prerogative and you do not get to decide that your wedding should be what they spend it on, nor are they selfish for deciding they'd rather spend it on something else (that they enjoy!). They will already be spending a significant amount of time and money travelling to your wedding, staying at a hotel, etc etc. Try being grateful for that instead of hung up on the tux.

NeedWeddingFavors · March 2013

As you say yourself, you don't see them very often, so I think it was very nice them to tell you IN PERSON that they felt that the tux was too expensive. It is too bad that it was at a afuneral, but you probably would have been mad if they had done it via email or text.

How dare you determine how someone else spends their money. If you are going to be upset in a few years when you look back at the pictures, then you should offer to pay for the tux. What exactly is the benefit to them for having "saved up" for YOUR wedding? Also, why are the parents being selfish for not paying for their hotel? I think you are being very selfish and you might want to step back a bit before you make everyone (icluding yourself) miserable.

Knottie_22382207 · March 2013

I know I haven't been on this site long but I really need to speak up on this. This "kid" is your nephew? And you're considering not allowing him in your wedding based on clothing?? I feel terrible for this child. A wedding is not a fashion show, it's about bringing two families you love together. Case and point... My 6 year old loves metal music and he wants to wear his machinehead shirt on our wedding day. I said "awesome"! I don't care if he hangs around in his Pjs as long as he's by my side. Consider your nephew's feelings please.

MrsGandthebeag · March 2013

You are being absolutely ridiculous. I would never pay $140 for my kid to wear a tux for one day. If you want him to wear it so bad, pay for it yourself.

Peledreamsofrain · March 2013

A.) You never EVER spend other people's money without talking to them first. You are not a psychic CPA, you do not know their money, what they CAN afford, or anything about thier pockets.

The fact that you expected them to save up for an amount they didn't even know is ridiculous. They aren't psychic either. You didn't talk to them, they didn't know, and now you dump a ridiculous number on them and get angry when they're like "Um.... we don't randomly have that much". Not nice at all.

B.) Let the kid wear a little suit. Kids are adorable in little suits, and that's all anyone will say when they see him. He's not a clone of the bridal party? Nobody will care. Not even a little. Starting drama that will last for years to come over something that nobody cares about is social suicide. The cost vs benefit doesn't even begin to equalize.

C.) I feel like you are being overly negative about your In-Laws. Hating people just because they go on vacation is just weird. The level of bitterness in your post, and negative things you have to say about their personality is WAY disproportionate to the fact that they want to put their kid in a suit. It's a suit. A suit. Why are they essentially bad people because of a suit? Would you like to be called a bad person because of one peice of clothing? You will be if you throw holy heck over a. suit.

Belthil · March 2013

In Response to Re: Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law:
Tarradesign, I love this picture! You look so wonderfully happy in it

nda8414 · March 2013

If it's so important to you, then why aren't you putting aside the $140? The ones who are benefiting from him being your ring bearer is you and your FI.

erinlin25 · March 2013

my nephew (rb) is wearing an adorable black suit which only cost $50--that he will own, noty rent. your rb will look adorable in a black suit too-- he is a kid, let it go. be happy they are spending money to come be with you and be in your wedding. 140 may seem affordable to you, but for a kid that is expensive and for a family who has travel expenses on top of that 140 + another 140 for the dads tux--it adds up. A kids tux/suit should be no where near the cost of an adult males--especially just a rental.

MuppetOverlord · March 2013

Yeah, that's a lot of money. We found our RB tux on e-bay for $20. I was also okay with him wearing a shirt and bowtie.....vest if they found one. I bought an easter dress for FG for $20 and gave it as a gift. I don't understand at all why you're considering removing him from the wedding at all.

IIt wasn't appropriate for them to bring this up to you at the funeral, but it was appropriate for tehm to bring it up. 'm very conscious of what others are paying to be part of our event and trying to be thoughtful of their funds. It's important to listen to what people are telling you and to try to work with them.

I know what it's like to vent, and then realize from the responses that I'm the one that's wrong.... but better to find out now whille you have something you can do about it.

rachelm13 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:76293396-36e1-4636-bf9d-c5dfdb73196a">Re: Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]Kristbot said exactly what I was thinking. I mysteriously grew a cup size right before the wedding, so my dress was just barely zipping when I poured myself in there. My H stepped on the train leaving the ceremony, so it busted the hook and eye and loosened the zipper so that taking pictures I was having to hold my dress together to keep from flashing all my new inlaws and guests. My sister went and got my mom and they had stashed huge safety pins in her purse and made a rox of x's down my back. The photographer captured this moment and I was laughing so hard I was crying. My husband was holding my veil and I was holding my dress in place as my mom pinned me up. Why do I tell you this boring story? Because when I look back on my wedding pictures, I see how happy we all were. I don't notice my BM who's dress didn't exactly match or my Frakenstein's bride dress. I think if you let this go then it won't be a problem. The only person that can make you agonize over pictures is yourself. The pictures should NOT be about everyone looking perfect, just about capturing the magic of your romantic day. If all you're concerned about is everything looking right then you will be able to tell. And nothing will ever go 100% right. So don't worry about your in-laws' spending, just asked them nicely what their budget is and either work with them or just left the little dude wear whatever. After all, it's about you and your FI, not about setting up the bestest bridal fashion photoshoot. ETA: if this is the "final straw" don't you think you could be the bigger person and work with them?
Posted by tarradesign[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>i really loved this story.

</div>

rachelm13 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:76293396-36e1-4636-bf9d-c5dfdb73196a">Re: Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]Kristbot said exactly what I was thinking. I mysteriously grew a cup size right before the wedding, so my dress was just barely zipping when I poured myself in there. My H stepped on the train leaving the ceremony, so it busted the hook and eye and loosened the zipper so that taking pictures I was having to hold my dress together to keep from flashing all my new inlaws and guests. My sister went and got my mom and they had stashed huge safety pins in her purse and made a rox of x's down my back. The photographer captured this moment and I was laughing so hard I was crying. My husband was holding my veil and I was holding my dress in place as my mom pinned me up. Why do I tell you this boring story? Because when I look back on my wedding pictures, I see how happy we all were. I don't notice my BM who's dress didn't exactly match or my Frakenstein's bride dress. I think if you let this go then it won't be a problem. The only person that can make you agonize over pictures is yourself. The pictures should NOT be about everyone looking perfect, just about capturing the magic of your romantic day. If all you're concerned about is everything looking right then you will be able to tell. And nothing will ever go 100% right. So don't worry about your in-laws' spending, just asked them nicely what their budget is and either work with them or just left the little dude wear whatever. After all, it's about you and your FI, not about setting up the bestest bridal fashion photoshoot. ETA: if this is the "final straw" don't you think you could be the bigger person and work with them?
Posted by tarradesign[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>i really loved this story.

</div>

Sephiroth · March 2013

I'm baffled why you think sticking them with an outrageously high charge for a mini tux is remotely ok. While it's not a particularly unreasonable amount for an adult groomsman, it's an exorbitant amount for a very small child's tux. If my kid were in someone's wedding, there's no way I'd be anticipating that high a (ridiculous and unnecessary) cost.

On top of that, they asked if they could opt for a black suit. You said yes. YOU SAID YES. Let me just repeat again, YOU SAID YES. That ship has now sailed, because you agreed to the black suit. You can't go back now and change it without looking like a giant bridezilla.

And who cares if he matches the groomsmen perfectly? Is this going to ruin your marriage? If you look back on pictures of him in his adorable miniture formal clothes and think anything at all other than "omg, he was so adorable", then you are beyond help.

Chaneltara · March 2013

I bought my ring bearer and fg's outfits, and my ring bearer is wearing a dress shirt and bowtie that is identical to the ties the other men are wearing. No jacket or tux or suit. it will look adorable and age appropriate. Little boys shouldn't look like little men, they should look like little boys. I think the price is ridiculous, and not letting him wear a suit (which really, how different to tuxes and suits really look? no one will be looking at him, they will be looking at you) and considering taking him out of the wedding? bridezilla.

Amandachrisman · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:8dfe1582-424c-4794-bc03-f0e18a19670c">Re: Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law : JIC
Posted by zizibet[/QUOTE]

I agree with you 100%. You are not being whiny at all. When you ask someone to be in your wedding and they say yes, they are saying yes to the cost also. It's there own fault they didn't save for that, or check with you (or the store) before making the commitment. I understand that a child's tux should be a little less costly then an adults, but you can't help that. Being in a wedding is expensive, but its one day, and they can get over it.

aquari0216 · March 2013

I kinda wish everyone would scroll down and read before they comment because i was originally going to get on you about being the selfish one, their spending being none of your business and $140 for a kids tux...i got two BRAND NEW off eBAY for $25 each including colored vest....so yeah thats definitely in your hands....i DID originally think you sounded ridiculous but I DO understand the feeling of "well hell y'all can do all this then $140 should be lint in your pockets" but hey your special day is not theirs....and yeah ppl have plenty of time for example: my BP new the dress, price and ordering deadline 6 months in advance.....they werent ready to order day of but Id (fortunately for them heffas) pushed it back a year....you think everyone will have their money for a deadline a year from now....probably not, thats ppl for you.....just remember your goals because ppl will upset you and my only charge for you is to take it in stride and dont turn into bridezilla because it will never be as important to them as it is to you.....

Bubblegum5586 · March 2013

As most of us know planning a wedding is stressful and sometimes something small can seem like a BIG HUGE PROBLEM! I have called my mom in tears a few times.... we talked about it.... and alot of times I realized... "hey, its not a big deal".
I think cjeffery193 just needed someone to point out that if she takes a step back... its not a big deal. I know a tux was ideal... but a suit is also very cute! Or that the ring bearer can look different then the GM just as the FG looks different then the BMs.
I think as fellow women and brides we should support eachother and help eachother when "its not a big deal" and not talked down and reprimand eachother. I was pretty sad to read how hostile some of these posts were!

jenkehl · March 2013

Aw, I think everybody's being a little tough on the bride here. Granted, the bride can't do anything here but let it go, true. But still it totally sucks when you feel like you go out of your way to do things for people and then those same people make a huge production out of doing one little thing for you. I totally get why she's feeling frustrated. We've all been there.

ohwhynot85 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_advice-needed-handling-future-brother-sister-in-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9fc73443-0250-46ba-920a-b96b18827cdfPost:c3171b71-8ae7-4dc5-b39f-8da3104c0a53">Re: Advice needed handling future brother & sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]I appreciate the feedback. It wasn't my intention to come off in any of the ways that either of you refered to me. <strong>But asking for their budget is something that I have honestly never heard of.</strong> I've been in 10+ weddings and no one has ever asked what my budget was. It's usually pretty understood that money will be involved and you do it because it's someone that you care about or love. I get that it's alot of $ for a kid, but for the groomsmen, that's average where we live. And you are right, that day I really won't care, but I'm worried that in the future I will notice looking back at pics. You are also right again, it isn't any of my business how they spend their money, but they certainly aren't going to get any sympathy from me when I know how many other things are going on. And perhaps it didn't translate, but this is among a string of things that they have recently pulled. Everyone, meaning their parents, are telling us to put our foot down. Esentially this is the final straw with them with us and alot of other people, and perhaps I should have addressed this a bit more in my original post.
Posted by cjeffery193[/QUOTE]

<div>Doesn't matter - you need to be respectful of how much they are comfortable spending. They would be spending close to $300 on attire ONLY just for the wedding. Not to mention travel costs. If it were me, I'd be pulling my son out of your wedding. You don't seem to be very accommodating with them. </div>

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