April 2013 Weddings
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Give me some insight here, I need outside opinions

Okay so here's the deal regarding my "bachelorette party," or rather what seems to be falling apart at the seams. A few days after my shower, which was a little over a month ago, my aunt, my matron of honor, messaged everyone and said hey guys- April 6th is the date for Ally's bachelorette, we're doing a spa day and having dinner at the Melting Pot. I'll let you all know when we decide on a spa. 

Since then my aunt decided to let me and one of my local BM choose the spa since we know what's in our area best. So the past few weeks we've been researching spas and trying to find the best deals mixed with good quality. In the meantime apparently there's been snarling from my two FSILs, both BMs, about how no one has been in touch with them about anything. But all they were told to do is save the date and were given the general game plan- aka clear your schedule that day (it worked for all of them, btw) My aunt and local BM didn't need any help from them so they didn't ask their input. They're not big spa people anyway, they NEVER go, so we didn't think they'd have much to contribute. They helped a lot with the shower anyway so my BM thought she was giving them a break. FSIL is like 33 weeks pregnant, btw.   

Fast forward to today, my BM and I decided on a spa with a wide variety of pricing and coupons galore and BM called and scheduled it. I just saw FMIL at church tonight and let her know she was more than welcome to come to the bachelorette day if she wanted since all we were doing is spa and the Melting Pot. She got this look on her face like a "ha! seriously?" kind of expressiona and said "oh. well no one ever told me or anyone else anything." And I was like "ah well.. they were told the date and the spa was TBD, I was just letting you know." And on the way home I get a text from local BM saying pregnant FSIL isn't coming cause she has a baby shower to go to that day.

Um... what?? I know she's pulling this just because she's mad no one involved her in the planning. But she hijacked my shower and did everything the way she wanted to despite my aunt and local BM trying to tell her what I liked. My shower was beautiful, but after the way FSIL treated my aunt and friend, they just wanted to book the BP themselves and save themselves the trouble of dealing with FSIL. 

I'm so annoyed with his sisters. One of them left my shower after 15 minutes to go to a BRIDAL SHOW and now his other sister won't even come to my BP. Ughhhhh. Okay rant over. But am I wrong for being upset that she's flaking last minute under suspect conditions? 
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Re: Give me some insight here, I need outside opinions

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    Not at all wrong for being upset! Drama and tension are never fun, especially when it involves family and friends, and especially the bridal party!

    I can kind of understand FSIL and BMs' side as well, though - it's nice to feel like you're part of the loop when planning a fun day. Since they're not spa people, were they really okay with that idea in the first place or do you think they're more so responding to that? Not that it's about them - because it is your special day - but still, I can see where they could have hurt feelings. Or maybe they really are just drama queens - that's something only you would know.

    Honestly though, regardless of the reasoning, it's not worth putting yourself in the middle of the drama. If you really want to try to mend it, you could potentially ask your MOH and local BM reach out to the other BMs, FMIL and FSILs - maybe they can ask whether you want to meet for breakfast, too, or choose a nice bar to go to after the Melting Pot - or something else that might make them feel like they have a bit more input, and maybe a little more appreciation, than just "Hey - come celebrate with us, thanks!"

    You've got enough on your plate with the wedding itself. If they can't get over it by the day of your party, you may have a better day without them anyway. And if they are ones to make public comments, maybe turn off Facebook and ignore your text messages for the day :-P
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    No, I'd be upset too! Sadly, there really isn't anything to do about it without starting more drama. Try to just let it go, and vent on here!! My FSIL didn't even show up to my shower, no rsvp no, she didn't text me or apologize or anything. It was beyond rude. And his mom didn't say anything about it either when she showed up. I'm slightly disgusted with his family and their lack of manners. Especially since we didn't invite one of our friends because it's her ex and she threw a fit about him being there. Seriously. Family. ugh. So, I feel your pain! Sorry she's being a punk about it, but hey- it will probably be a more enjoyable day without her there!
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    Yeah I'm really irritated about the whole thing. God forbid I don't show up to a family function it's the end of the world but this is the second time one of them are flaking on me and it's apparently totally fine. 

    Oh and when FSIL said she had a shower to attend during the day my BM said "oh sorry to hear you won't be at the spa, hopefully you can still make it to the melting pot at 8 pm." FSIL response? "The shower is lunch in the middle of the day so no I can't make it." WTF??? I'm pretty sure lunch and 8 pm are HOURS away from eachother. I'm so pissed off. 

    I have to see all his family tomorrow for Easter and am going to find it very hard not to make some comment about her "reasoning" on that one. 
    158 Invited image | 68 will be there image |6 can't make it image | 84 still need to reply! image
    RSVP Deadline: 4/6/13
    4/26/13 March Siggy Challenge: Bridesmaid Dresses

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Let it go...enjoy your day.
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    If this wasn't just an example of how they act all the time it wouldn't get to me.. I would understand if she really had made prior commitments months and months ago. But the fact that she was told the date In February and had no qualms until AFTER she wasn't involved in the planning irks the living hell out of me. 
    158 Invited image | 68 will be there image |6 can't make it image | 84 still need to reply! image
    RSVP Deadline: 4/6/13
    4/26/13 March Siggy Challenge: Bridesmaid Dresses

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
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