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Wedding Party
LittlePixieToes
member
HELP!!! To ask or not to ask...
Hi Ladies,
I know I am probably worrying about this to much, but I am one of those girls that has a hard time saying no and I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so here is my sitch that I am hoping you can give me some feedback on.
We are having a pretty small wedding (approx. 50 guests) so we really didn't want a large wedding party and our attendants will be sitting vs stading at the ceremony anyway. I have two friends that I made at the same time (S and M lol I just realized how funny that looks, but moving on we met each other through work about 6 years ago) and we were the three amigos for a while. For a few years S and I got really close and were inseprable besties and she even facilitated the rekindling of fiance and I (she was looking for golf lessons and I suggested she contact "this guy I used to know" and she did so he emailed me to thank me for sending him a client and so on). Anywho I changed jobs, but S, M and I stayed friends but I was not super close to either of them at that point because I was very busy with work. They also changed jobs and lost touch, but over the years I have stayed in touch with them both, but have gotten very close with M and she is one of my dearest friends (I still love S as well, but we have only talked/seen each other a handful of times in the last few years). I would like to ask M to be my MOH, but I don't want to hurt S' feelings. I don't think S would be hurt about not being asked to be a bridesmaid, but I think she will be hurt that I asked M and not her if thats what I decide to do. To avoid all of this, I had decided just to have my sisters (3) as bridesmaids (theres no way I could choose one of them to be MOH over another so I decided to skip the title in this scenario) to keep the bridal party small and to avoid having to choose. Now I am having second thoughts... Does anyone have any advice?
I know I am probably worrying about this to much, but I am one of those girls that has a hard time saying no and I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so here is my sitch that I am hoping you can give me some feedback on.
We are having a pretty small wedding (approx. 50 guests) so we really didn't want a large wedding party and our attendants will be sitting vs stading at the ceremony anyway. I have two friends that I made at the same time (S and M lol I just realized how funny that looks, but moving on we met each other through work about 6 years ago) and we were the three amigos for a while. For a few years S and I got really close and were inseprable besties and she even facilitated the rekindling of fiance and I (she was looking for golf lessons and I suggested she contact "this guy I used to know" and she did so he emailed me to thank me for sending him a client and so on). Anywho I changed jobs, but S, M and I stayed friends but I was not super close to either of them at that point because I was very busy with work. They also changed jobs and lost touch, but over the years I have stayed in touch with them both, but have gotten very close with M and she is one of my dearest friends (I still love S as well, but we have only talked/seen each other a handful of times in the last few years). I would like to ask M to be my MOH, but I don't want to hurt S' feelings. I don't think S would be hurt about not being asked to be a bridesmaid, but I think she will be hurt that I asked M and not her if thats what I decide to do. To avoid all of this, I had decided just to have my sisters (3) as bridesmaids (theres no way I could choose one of them to be MOH over another so I decided to skip the title in this scenario) to keep the bridal party small and to avoid having to choose. Now I am having second thoughts... Does anyone have any advice?
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Re: HELP!!! To ask or not to ask...
I also had two friends E and S that I used to hang out with in a group. We all grew up together we have been friends since we were 7, 6, and 5 years old and remained close as a group throughout high school. While I love them both I am now much closer to E partly because we attended the same college while S was a 6 hour drive away. Now we are all spread out across the country but I find myself still talking to E more often. I asked E to be my MOH and S to be a bridesmaid because this reflected our current relationships. For what it is worth S was not hurt at all that I picked E to be my MOH and not her and was actually so touched I asked her to be a bridesmaid that she teared up (but that's just her personality). If you have really grown apart some and are not as close as you once were I think your friend will understand this. If she is a reasonable person even if she initially feels a little left out or a little hurt, she will understand that you aren't as close anymore and let it go.