No ring no bring? :(

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · April 2013

Hi Ladies, I haven't posted or even lurked in a while (maybe I've been actually focusing on my work during the day but I doubt that's it) but I thought you other Not yet engaged girls would be able to commiserate with me over this situation. Btw my bf and I live together and we are both 28. So bf got an invite for his college friends wedding. College friend is from CT, wedding is in VT in June..we got the invite in March...and we live in PA. I've never met this friend or really heard much about him. Now, I can smile my way through being referred to as "and guest" (like at his cousins wedding where I had met this cousin and part of the family previously at 3 recent weddings) but I was not even invited! Let's keep in my the friend has fb so he can see my bf is not single and also he had to get MY ADDRESS to send an invite to just my bf. I mean come on. The worst is my bf thought this was ok! He said people have to draw the line somewhere for the guest list (I informed him I'll be drawing any future lines at his friends I haven't met haha) but at least after googling and asking around he finally came to his senses that this was poor etiquette and RSVP today for no. It's just so annoying and frustrating! I understand people will follow maybe some stricter "etiquette rules," but at my age now most people of our friends are married or in a serious relationship, I can't imagine you have so many friends in fling type situations that you need to judge the seriousness of relationships to cut the guest list. Ok rant over. Do others experience this situation often? How do you deal with it? Bf is worried other mutual friends will start asking why he's not going. I told him to tell the real reason, but I doubt he will.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · April 2013

Ok thanks, that's what I thought also, so just needed some ladies to back me up so I don't look like this horrible crazy gf not wanting him to attend his friends wedding.

Angelface225 · April 2013

Tarra is completely right. It is against etiquette to split up significant others and no one has the right to decide how "serious" a relationship is. (E.g. the no ring, no bring rule) People are within their rights to not give "plus ones" to people that are single, but when SOs are involved there is no choice. If they are limited by space or budget they should have cut their guest list.

I lived with FI for 6 years before we got engaged, and I would've been pissed if I had been excluded from a social event that he was invited to.

AddieCake · April 2013

Anyone in a relationship should be invited with his or her significant other.

Simply Fated · April 2013

The whole no ring no bring thing is such a bad statement. It's cheesy, condescending, and judgmental. I'm so sorry you were left out just because you're not sooper kewl enough to be married.

MoonlightSilver · April 2013

Anyone in a relationship, regardless of length or seriousness, needs to be invited with their partner.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · April 2013

Thanks ladies! When my day does come I do plan to follow proper etiquette in terms of invites, but the biatch side of me feels like you shouldn't PO people not married yet because they will have the last laugh when their day comes. BF still wants to send them quite a generous gift, oh well it's his money, I just can't get over the rudeness of the whole situation. At least in my circle, for an out of state or destination type wedding, even truly single people are normally offered a guest. It's just annoying that i have to sound like the bad guy, but at least he did come around and end up agreeing with me.

Kate61487 · April 2013

Yeah you're definitely in the right. I would have had H call first to make sure it wasn't an accidental oversight, but if one of his friends had intentionally left me out I would want him to decline.

MuppetFan · April 2013

Yes, you are in the right. SO goes with the invited.

Salsera29 · April 2013

Nothing new to add, just another vote for "you're right and they are terribly rude."

When I was in college, my bf and I hung out with two other couples all the time. We had dinner parties, we went out together, we went on day trips together, the whole 9. When one couple got married, they invited my bf and the other guy but not me and the other gf. We were super pissed, as were our bf's because they had to go to the wedding as each other's "dates." It sucked all around.

kaitlynmichelle · April 2013

You are absolutely right. BF's cousin did not invite me to their wedding last summer, even though we had been dating over seven years at that point. They didn't invite me because we weren't married. I was very offended, and he did not attend. I have known his cousin since we started dating too so that made it even worse. Your BF should absolutely tell people the reason why he isn't going to the wedding if asked. You should have been invited.

rajahmd · April 2013

I totally know how you feel OP. Last year, my former best friend invited me to her wedding without my fiance, but siad if she got enough "no" rsvp's he could come. We were offended, as we were already engaged at that time. When I ended up rsvping no to her wedding, she got super pissed at me. In my mind, no one is more important to me than my FI. Good for your FI standing up for you and not going.

ifeelgoodifeelgreatifeelwonderful · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-no-bring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d42782d9-4f45-4de1-a66e-7346d5c123ffPost:d8834f87-8f6e-44c0-8800-d6246aaa41b4">Re:No ring no bring? :</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally know how you feel OP. Last year, my former best friend invited me to her wedding without my fiance, but siad if she got enough "no" rsvp's he could come. We were offended, as we were already engaged at that time. When I ended up rsvping no to her wedding, she got super pissed at me. In my mind, no one is more important to me than my FI. Good for your FI standing up for you and not going.
Posted by RachelBFMD[/QUOTE]

Wow without your FI?? That takes the cake! Thanks for the support ladies!

wiki8 · April 2013

Definitely rude, and you should not feel crazy. A whole back, my exbf was invited to a wedding ON my birthday, out of state that I was not invited to. I was livid. I was probably being a little bit too much of a brat, but I thought it was so rude. They knew we were in a relationship, knew we lived together, and knew it was my birthday and he would have to make a longer trip due to travel, didn't invite me.

No ring no bring? :(

Re: No ring no bring? :(

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