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Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?

jessiwynjessiwyn member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Do wedding invitations need to be sent in the mail, or can they be given to people in person?  My fiance and I each have a number of co-workers that we would like to invite to our wedding, but we do not know their mailing addresses.  Should we ask our co-workers for their addresses (or do you think that anyone might be hesitant to give out their addresses for privacy reasons), or should we give them the option for us to give their invitations in person?
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Re: Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?

  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    If they're too apprehensive to give you their address, I'd be apprehensive to invite them to my wedding.  I would think the relationships you have with them that makes you want to invite them to your wedding would be enough of a friendship to feel comfortable giving out home addresses to one another.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-invitations-need-to-be-sent-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:973077d4-668a-40eb-bfee-c18d232fc047Post:8ed0e219-9efe-40c4-8e8f-25c9d00554d1">Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do wedding invitations need to be sent in the mail, or can they be given to people in person?  My fiance and I each have a number of co-workers that we would like to invite to our wedding, but we do not know their mailing addresses.  Should we ask our co-workers for their addresses (or do you think that anyone might be hesitant to give out their addresses for privacy reasons), or should we give them the option for us to give their invitations in person?
    Posted by jessiwyn[/QUOTE]
    Gunna be really blunt.... if you think they might think giving out their addresses is too personal, you might want to reconsider inviting them to your wedding. I mean, they're going to meet your family, friends, and they might even find out your address, if the RSVP card is in there. But if you don't think they want to get as personal as you're about to get, then maybe you should consider leaving co-workers off the guest list altogether?

    Either way, I wouldn't hand them out at work. Like pp said, it could make for potentially awkward moments with co-workers you didn't invite.
    image
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-invitations-need-to-be-sent-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:973077d4-668a-40eb-bfee-c18d232fc047Post:00da3345-2907-4229-b15d-7fc3bcfb15c4">Re: Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Do invitations need to be sent in the mail? : Gunna be really blunt.... if you think they might think giving out their addresses is too personal, you might want to reconsider inviting them to your wedding. I mean, they're going to meet your family, friends, and they might even find out your address, if the RSVP card is in there. But if you don't think they want to get as personal as you're about to get, then maybe you should consider leaving co-workers off the guest list altogether? Either way, I wouldn't hand them out at work. Like pp said, it could make for potentially awkward moments with co-workers you didn't invite.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    Listen to this advice. Definitely don't hand them out at work, and don't feel like you "should" invite any of your co-workers if you really aren't close to them.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    ....the point of having an address is to receive mail...

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Do you remember in school when kids would hand out birthday party invites (or just invites to parties in high school), and then that one kid wouldn't get invited? Yea. Unfortunately, adults can still act like kids in that respect. 

    Get the addresses.
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  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    ^lplions nailed it
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    What PPs said - but also; hand delivering invitations to anyone greatly increases the chance of them mis-placing it.  It will get stuck in a purse or tossed into the backseat of the car and disappear for months.  Better to mail them.

    image

     

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  • hgminorhgminor member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-invitations-need-to-be-sent-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:973077d4-668a-40eb-bfee-c18d232fc047Post:e745e0b2-a6fe-45e1-b3f2-681e2b248df8">Re: Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you remember in school when kids would hand out birthday party invites (or just invites to parties in high school), and then that one kid wouldn't get invited? Yea. Unfortunately, adults can still act like kids in that respect.  Get the addresses.
    Posted by lplions[/QUOTE]

    <div>THIS!</div><div>There's a reason elementary schools make you give every kid in class a valentine, and the saying is if you share you better have enough for everyone right?</div><div>
    </div><div>Pull them aside, get addresses, and mail the invites.</div>
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  • jennyd412jennyd412 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-invitations-need-to-be-sent-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:973077d4-668a-40eb-bfee-c18d232fc047Post:e745e0b2-a6fe-45e1-b3f2-681e2b248df8">Re: Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you remember in school when kids would hand out birthday party invites (or just invites to parties in high school), and then that one kid wouldn't get invited? Yea. Unfortunately, adults can still act like kids in that respect.  Get the addresses.
    Posted by lplions[/QUOTE]


    This is exactly what I was thinking. There was one girl in 2nd grade that I didn't get along with. I was the only girl she didn't give an invite to for her birthday. It was the only year my Mom let me leave one girl off my birthday party list. I didn't get along with her, but as a 2nd grader it hurt my feelings. I still remember the sting and still feel guilty about the "revenge".
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  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    You might as well get their addresses now, so that if anyone gives you a gift, you can mail them a TY note too.

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-invitations-need-to-be-sent-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:973077d4-668a-40eb-bfee-c18d232fc047Post:12475b39-6bff-4307-9d70-3ecab8640b8b">Re:Do invitations need to be sent in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You might as well get their addresses now, so that if anyone gives you a gift, you can mail them a TY note too.
    Posted by SKPM[/QUOTE]

    This is a good point, but you should get addresses and use the mail to send your invitations.  Don't distribute them at work, for two reasons:

    1) in case not everyone at work is invited (this is more discreet)
    2) it could be perceived as a distraction from work-related matters
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  • jess1669jess1669 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    This is what my fiance and I did (we both work at the same place).....since the save-the-dates were small and not as big as an invitation, we handed those out at work, even though not everyone was invited. It was very dicreet and they all knew to keep quiet about it. After they were all handed out I sent out an email to each of our bosses and our co-workers (individually) that there will be a formal invite to follow and if they are comfortable giving out their home address, it would be greatly appreciated. Every single one of them gave me their home address including our bosses and the director of our department.

    I just sent out my invitations a week ago and they all recieved them. :) It was easy and there were no problems. But, I would give them the option of giving you their home address.

    Hope this helps! :)
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  • mandijohneymandijohney
    First Comment
    I can honestly say that I did not mail my co-workers invitations. Although rather than handing them out, I persoanlly put them in their mailboxes when no body was around so no one would see who was getting one. I would have mailed them, but I had already spent so much  on postage, and I really could not afford to spend anymore on postage.
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