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Wedding Invitations & Paper

MOG Question

Hey gals,
Our inviations just came in the mail, and we sent a copy to my fiance's mom....and she quickly came back asking why she wasn't named on the invite.  Has this happened to anyone else, and how did you handle it?  I just feel so guilty that she's upset, and really want everyone to be happy, but am hesitant to bring it up with her (also wondering if I should even bring it up!).  Any advice?
Thanks!!

Re: MOG Question

  • The groom's parents aren't nomally on the wedding invitation.  Tell her you followed the format that was given to you.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_mog-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:18f542b8-a1ce-408a-bf32-60c20801f200Post:910e980f-603d-4184-ae3d-010b113ac7a4">Re: MOG Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]The groom's parents aren't nomally on the wedding invitation.  Tell her you followed the format that was given to you.
    Posted by meg2marryshane[/QUOTE]

    Not always.  If the ivitation does not read "together with their familes"  the wording I've always seen is:

    ....
    the marriage of their daughter
    Jane Susana
    to John Doe
    son of
    James and Julia Doe
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2013
    Sorry you're going through this but you really dropped the ball here.  It's something that should have been discussed before you ordered the invites.  We wrote both of our single mothers are hosting because we didn't want to offend anyone.  If it's in your budget I would reorder.

    ETA: I've always seen it like GLB described,
     
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_mog-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:18f542b8-a1ce-408a-bf32-60c20801f200Post:9b034cbf-3cd9-4529-8c65-16f346080c24">Re: MOG Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your wording is correct.  The groom's parents are not normally on the invitation.  Just tell MOG that this is what the etiquette book said was correct. This sometimes happens when people aren't familiar with wedding etiquette. 
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]



    Here's the problem I see here. Etiquette is all about being proper so you don't offend anyone. But if the MOG is offended how is it proper? Seems hyprotical.
     
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  • What's done is done, and you should be enjoying this process.  I'd buy her flowers (or something you think she'd) and offer a sincere apology for hurting her feelings.  Then maybe, at the reception toasts, take the time to publically thank some of the people who contributed to the wedding, and mention them. 

    The etiquitte excuse could work, but it could also backfire, especially if they've contributed financially to your wedding.  You might also have your fiance talk to her.  She might be more satisfied with your apology if her own son says "Mom, she feels really bad about it."   

    Unfortunately, feelings are often hurt during the wedding process-someone is mad because she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, or he wasn't invited to the wedding.   You can't please everyone, so when it happens, do your best to make amends then shake it off and go enjoy your wedding.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_mog-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:18f542b8-a1ce-408a-bf32-60c20801f200Post:63a224b2-0669-4754-b814-dda6d5057c5c">Re: MOG Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOG Question : Here's the problem I see here. Etiquette is all about being proper so you don't offend anyone. But if the MOG is offended how is it proper? Seems hyprotical.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    It isn't hypocritical so much as a misunderstanding of the purpose of etiquette.

    Etiquette is not about "making others comfortable" or "preventing people from being offended."  It's a set of rules that regulates social interaction, and in specific circumstances, it actually does mandate actions that could make someone uncomfortable or offended-even parents, even the elderly, even the top-ranking people.  What is hoped is that when everyone does follow etiquette, the discomfort or offense is minimized if not completely eliminated.  But, of course, not everyone follows etiquette.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_mog-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:18f542b8-a1ce-408a-bf32-60c20801f200Post:71be5ff6-bc82-4d14-be99-ccb9b1e9f24e">MOG Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey gals, Our inviations just came in the mail, and we sent a copy to my fiance's mom....and she quickly came back asking why she wasn't named on the invite.  Has this happened to anyone else, and how did you handle it?  I just feel so guilty that she's upset, and really want everyone to be happy, but am hesitant to bring it up with her (also wondering if I should even bring it up!).  Any advice? Thanks!!
    Posted by maybeitsme06[/QUOTE]

    Who is the host? If your parents are paying for the wedding, then they are the hosts and their name only is on the invitation. Is FMIL contributing?
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