I have been texting this girl for a few hours now, on and off. She was given my number by a mutual friend because she thinks we would get along. I dont have many girlfriends, so I was all for it. The convo was going great. She told me about how she has a 1 year old daughter and asked if I had any kids. I replied "Not yet. I am getting married in 5 months, so sometime after that we will think about kids." She replied "Ali (mutual friend) told me you were getting married. Congrats! I wish i could get married sooner than what I really can" I then asked if she was engaged. This is where it gets awkward.....
Her: Yeah, Im engaged. There is just no way we could afford a wedding for like another few years. Im honestly down to just go get it official at the courthouse and have a ceremony later on"
OMG! How could I tell this girl that I just started talking to that was not a good idea, in a nice way? My first feeling was to say "NO! DONT DO THAT! The girls on TK would not agree!" but I didnt want to be rude, or come off harsh. She seems really nice!! So, I replied as nicely as I could.
Me: You can find ways to make it work! A wedding is only as expensive as you make it. If you need any ideas, I have tons of great tips to help cut costs and still have a great wedding
Her: Neither one of us works. My FI is a student now so its too hard to balance work, kid and school. I dont even want a traditional huge wedding. Just 50 people or less, under a cute little archwith flowers. I dont even want a white dress!
Me: I can imagine how hard it must be to balance all of that. I would just hold off on the JOP idea if you really want something else. I mean, you only get married once, right? Why not do it the way you really want the first time?
Her: I just want the title sooner.
Me: Ive heard nothing really changes after getting married, so I guess its not that much of a difference between being a fiancee and being a wife.
Her: Yeah, I guess you're kind of right.
I changed the subject away from weddings after that. I had to share this with all of you knotties! I really hope that she doesnt go ahead with a JOP wedding if she really doesnt want it. Obviously we have different views about planning a wedding. I think I am going to avoid talking to her about wedding stuff from here on out. Maybe I should direct her to the boards?