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Registery Help

NpestanaNpestana
in Registry and Gift Forum
Help!  My fiance and I have an established home and really don't need anything that typically go on a registery.  While I appreciate the thought, I only want our friends and family to come and enjoy the day with us (and would be perfectly happy if no one brought a gift).  That being said, I'm getting pressure from several people to create a registery or Honeyfund.  I hate to register for items just for the sake of having something down and I'm not sure if a Honeyfund is appropriate.  Isn't that like asking for money?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
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Re: Registery Help

  • sarahroslanskysarahroslansky member
    10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We're doing a charity registry with the I Do Foundation in addition to a regular registry. It's really great and they have zillions of charities on there that you can choose from, and then guests can donate in your honor in lieu of gifts.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Just an FYI, it's registry, not registery.  And no, Honeyfund is not appropriate.  If you don't want to register just stick to your guns.  Alternatively you can have a very small registry with upgrades and things like new towels, which will give the physical gift givers something to go off of.



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  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registery-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:56e0f27a-8c7a-4cdc-a582-73f53569918dPost:0e05d3ea-6433-489e-80c5-951836229dff">Re: Registery Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just an FYI, it's registry, not registery.  And no, Honeyfund is not appropriate.  If you don't want to register just stick to your guns.  Alternatively you can have a very small registry with upgrades and things like new towels, which will give the physical gift givers something to go off of.
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>All of this.  Charity registries are also frowned upon because it may be a cause that the guests don't support.  It's also sort of AWish - I mean, your wedding isn't a fundraiser, and if the bride and groom want to make a donation as a way to start their marriage, they may do so quietly after the wedding is over.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you don't register you will likely get some white elephant gifts - more than if you did register.  You are also likely to get a lot of cash.  Honestly, most people just won't show up to a wedding without a gift (I certainly won't), so the whole "your presence is a present," is a nice thought but totally impractical.  We recommend registries because plenty of people don't like to give cash (I always give a physical gift), and it gives them guidance.  You will end up with 25 picture frames, 8 toasters, and 14 crystal platters if you don't register.

    </div>
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  • teachmegs1teachmegs1 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registery-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:56e0f27a-8c7a-4cdc-a582-73f53569918dPost:7c9ec4a8-dc52-491c-ae0a-88189d6a0e7b">Re: Registery Help</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would recommend a small registry of just a few upgrades or other items. You will get a lot of cash but at least there is an option. I myself would never go to a wedding without a gift so that's not really an option.
    Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

    This. Why don't you register for your toasting flutes and cake servers.  Maybe a few nice picture frames for some of the photo's you'll have done.  I have an established house too, and FI said to me; "I don't care what color towel I use when I get out of the shower, I just want to have one available to me." All in all, he nor myself really needed anything.  We just registered for some newer dishes, a casual china set for holiday's, and some other upgrades.  Almost 70% of my registry was bought for the shower and not a whole lot is left.  We're leaving it as is, and know that a lot of people will just give cash, but there are still some options left on the registries if needed.
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  • teachmegs1teachmegs1 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    As I submitted this, I realized that toasting flutes and cake servers would need to be given as a gift prior to the wedding. =P Someone a few days ago had posted a similar thread regarding a wedding shower registry.  I had a similar response to that one as I did to yours, and you were just referencing the wedding itself. At least from what you posted. My apologies. =)
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  • MayberryAfterMidnightMayberryAfterMidnight member
    100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    I completely understand - FI and I are in your same position (established home, don't want to register just to register, etc.). However, we were also sort of pushed into registering by our families. So we've set up a small registry at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I agree - don't register for things you really don't want, but you'd be surprised how many things you can find that you didn't realize you needed. It takes some work, yes, for those of us who don't want fancy china and don't want to replace the perfectly good household items we already have, but it will avoid you getting a lot of things you REALLY don't need, and some people really like to give a physical gift. (My parents also basically laughed in my face when I told them guests don't have to bring anything...) Don't do a Honeyfund. As PPs have said (and as you'll find by looking around the Etiquette board a bit more), they are considered rude - basically asking your guests for cash - and most websites take at least a 7% cut out of the total. I would encourage you to look somewhere like BB&B or Target or Macy's to see if there are things you'd like or just need for around the house. Maybe things you've never gotten around to buying for yourself? I've also been told by other Knotties that having a small registry will often give guests a hint that you already have an established household and might prefer cash.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You're right, cash and honeymoon registries (including for charity) are inappropriate.  

    If people are asking, I would do a small registry focused on a couple of upgrades and replacement items.  (You might have enough sheets and towels now, but those things don't last forever.  You could get a couple of back up sets of each.)  

    If you really don't want anything physical at all, it's fine to just not register.  Just know that not everyone is ok with giving cash, so you might end up with some random items.  You might like some of them, and you might end up donating some of them.  
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  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Think about upgrading some of the items you do have, or including things that you might not otherwise buy for yourself.

    New dish towels? Drinking glasses? Wine glass set? Hand towels? Bathroom set? Picture frames for your wedding photos, etc. 
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