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Invitation wording divorced inlaws

EmileeBentleyEmileeBentley
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Strange situation here, my mother and father are paying for a large portion of the wedding, as are my fiance's mom and stepdad. His father and stepmother are very well off but have announced they will pay for less than half of the rehearsal dinner since 'most of the relatives are on his mother's side.'

Since his mother and stepfather are being so generous I want to include them as hosts on the invite but I'm worried leaving off his father and stepmother would offend them. However it also seems unfair to include them when they haven't helped as hosts equally. My fiance has no clue what to do either. Help!
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Re: Invitation wording divorced inlaws

  • EmileeBentleyEmileeBentley
    First Comment
    I should also mention his stepmother sent us a list of 10 of their personal friends whom I don't really know that we are expected to invite to the wedding...
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    The wording is not supposed to reflect the financial arrangements, so who's paying how much for what is irrelevant and none of the guests' business.

    The question is, who will be acting as the point persons of the wedding-that is, greeting guests, seeing that their needs are taken care of, receiving replies to the invitation, etc.?  If your parents, in whatever combination, are those people, then their names are included; if not, then they are not.  

    Don't use your invitation as a playbill-its purpose is to convey to those invited the logistics of the wedding-what the occasion is, who the couple getting married is, who is *hosting* as opposed to who's paying, when and where the wedding is taking place, and the formality.  It has no other purpose-not to "honor" anyone other than the guests or to map out the family trees.  If everyone has to be listed on something, use a program for that. 
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    We did the following. This isn't traditional by any means, but helped DH & I to avoid hard feelings. My dad is deceased. My mom is remarried (different last name than me). DH's parents are divorced. Mom is single, dad is remarried. Yay for complicated family situations!


    Katie Louise Smith
    and
    Mark David Johnson

    Together with their families
    Sue and Paul Jones
    Mary Peterson
    Anne and Christopher Stevens

    Request the pleasure of your company...

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  • PookiesonPookieson member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    Ours was similar to yours.  I posted elsewhere.  FI has divorced parents.  We are hosting by ourselves and paying for the majority of the wedding, but all families are contributing financially.  They wanted to be included by name so this what we did. 

    Shannon Marie
    and
    Justin Richard Todd Jones
    Together with their parents
    John and Jane Smith
    and
    Chris and Christina Baker
    George and Lucy Jones
    request the pleasure of your company.

    According to my etiquette book, this is most appropriate for all parents and bride and groom hosting/contributing financially. 
    Etiquette wise though, the mother's names should go first: iet: Jane and John Smith, however; none of the parents likes this for some reason, and I didn't want to fuss over it, so we left it off.

    image

    June 1, 2013 - finally making it official!

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  • EmileeBentleyEmileeBentley
    First Comment
    Thank you everyone, excellent advice!
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