condo is on deposit! and a question about BC

SB1512 · April 2013

So, we are trying not to get too excited, but we accepted an offer from a buyer on Friday!! The person was super interested in our place, and of course, was concerned about an appraisal. Our agent fought tooth and nail to convince them to make a reasonable offer, and they did! The offered what was basically our bottom line, and we decided to just accept it, instead of countering and perhaps scare them off. So, as long as the appraisal comes through at or above the offer things look good. The only downside is we will be moving in with FI's parents to recoup some money (and will probably be there for at least 6 months), so if anyone has any advice about living with their in-laws (and mine can be difficult) I'd appreciate it!

Second question, unrelated. And let me preface this by saying yes I will be seeing my doc in about 2 weeks and having this conversation with her, I'm mostly just interested in people's experiences with long term BC options. I also know that everyone is different and reacts to different forms of birth control differently. I'm currently ony the pill, and I have no issues with it. However, I'm going to be losing my student health insurance in June, and I don't have a job lined up yet. Adding me onto FI's insurance is super expensive, so I might be going uninsured for a bit. Since BC pills will be pretty costly without insurance, I am thinking of seeing if I can switch to something more long term (which I have already checked and is 100% covered under my student health insurance) like Mirena or Nexplanon. So, for those of you on a long term BC option (or were on a long term option), did you love it or hate and why or why not? Again, let me stress that I will not be using this to base my decision off of, I just find it helpful to hear from others what they think/thought about a product.

freebread03 · April 2013

You should find out how much generics will actually cost-I use a generic of estrotep (I think it's Loestrin), and, with my insurance, I pay $0.00, so I would think it's not extremely expensive. You can also find coupons to take to your pharmacy for whatever prescription your doc writes. Unfortunately I can't speak to Mirena or any other IUDs, but I know people have had mixed results (and, if you also enjoy the skin benefits of an oral contraceptive-which I do-you may miss those results).

Can't be of any help about living with the in-laws. I could never do it, and I love FIs! I can suggest that you find activities to do outside the house in the evenings and weekends-join a kickball team, book club, networking happy hour group or something that can regularly take you outside the house on schedule. I imagine they'd like to be able to plan for privacy too, and doing something like that that has a schedule could be good for you both.

lyndausvi · April 2013

Congrats on the condo. Must be a good week. Ours went under contract also.

We lived with my parents for 6 weeks when we moved here. Of course, I'm use to their quirks. DH, not so much. I had to work on DH to respect the way they live. My parents are very picky how the house is kept. Labels in the pantry must be facing out, nothing left in the sink, bed is always made, certain glasses are to be used for certain stuff, etc.

I would not say DH is a slob, but he doesn't think twice about eating a bowl of cereal at 6am and leaving it sit in the sink. Drives my mom crazy. Or DH grabs a mug to eat ice cream when there are "ice cream" bowls for that. Now my parents didn't scold him, but they were like "oh, you know we have ice cream bowls right?". So stuff like that can get real annoying quick. You can't let it bother you too much. Try and be respectful they may do things differently. DH and I had some good laughs over ice cream bowls.

Try and lay down some ground rules when it comes to meals, laundry and stuff. My mom does her laundry on Fridays. So I made sure I did mine on a different day and nothing was left in the dryer.

See what their expectations for meals might be. Do they plan on you all sitting down for dinner together? Fend for yourself? Go with the flow? Do you shop for yourself? Stuff like that.

My parents do not plan meals until the last minute. DH and I were kind-of the same. So meals were not a problem with us. Sometimes we ate together, sometimes we didn't. NDB. No hard feelings if they didn't want the meal the other was cooking.

We were flexible when shopping. If either of us went we asked the other if they need something. We didn't swap money. Neither of us seems to spend more than the other. Although dad picked up the restaurant tab more often.

Living room. my mom is a creature of habit. She has her chair. Dad not as bad, but he has is spot on the couch. Do not sit in their spot- LOL. Oh and the TV. Mom watches 7pm Wheel of Fortune 7:30 Jeopardy. Gunsmoke at 8. Law and Order on weekend morning. LIKE CLOCK WORK. DH ended up spending time in our room to watch something like Duck Dynasty. My mom was fine with that, but i can see how someone else would feel like he was being anti-social.

Insurance - get your DH's insurance. Trust me. You do not want to go uninsured. It sucks. We have been since Jan (DH's insurance kicks in on May 1). I'm counting the days till I get to see what is wrong with my shoulder.

Can't help you with long-term BC.

GL. Moving back home has it's challenges. My MIL doesn't let us touch "her stuff" Defined as vacuums, ovens, stoves, washer/dryer. Moving in with her would be like having a housekeeper. She is laid back otherwise, but yeah it would be weird not be allowed to do laundry because she thinks we will break the machine.

nextrightthing · April 2013

Regarding long-term BC, I have the Paragard IUD because I don't tolerate hormonal BC, which Mirena is. Pros: Don't have to worry about it, almost 100% effective (both are HUGE pros). Cons: Spotting, longer periods (my understanding is this may not happen with Mirena?)

I am a huge fan and would recommend an IUD to anyone. There was no pain when I got it put in, although I have had a baby (c-section though) so my perception of pain may differ from that of someone who has never had a baby or been pg.

WinstonsGirl · April 2013

Good luck with the condo deal. I hope everything works out.

I've got a copper IUD too, and I'm loving it. I was on BCP for years (10+) and was fine with that too but wanted to try something non-hormonal. Cons were more cramping at the beginning (I used to have none), but now it's almost gone again, maybe some slight discomfort each month. My periods have now regulated out to every 23 days instead of every 28 on the Pill, but that's me without hormones, not the IUD. And the pain putting it in was wretched. It's like a bad cramp that just spreads through your abdomen. It was crampy all night and got better over a few days. I've never had kids though, so I think it hurts a little more. And I have low pain tolerance for medical stuff. Now though, I can't complain.

AddieCake · April 2013

Awesome about the condo and good luck! I know you will be thrilled when that is all over. I guess just stay out of the way as much as possible while you live with your in-laws, but don't be completely anti-social.

I can't help with any BC questions.

MrsGandthebeag · April 2013

Congrats on the condo. Good luck living with the ILs. I couldn't do it, or my mom either. It would drive me bananas.

On the BC, I was on the pill for 16 years and decided in December to get an IUD. WORST PLAN EVER!!!! I have NEVER experienced pain like that in my life. I almost passed out when I got it put in. I had the runs and wanted to vomit for hours afterwards. I was shaky and weak. It got better over the next couple days. A week later my doc ordered an ultrasound to make sure it was placed correctly. If they're not, they are not effective to prevent against pregnancy. Well, sure enough it wasn't in there the way it was supposed to be. They gave me the option to remove it or replace. I got it removed and went back to my BCP. Thank god. Had I read reviews online first I never would have tried this. You may want to read some first. Of course, everyone's body is different. If you do get one, I wish you good luck.

MoonlightSilver · April 2013

I have the Mirena IUD and love it. I gained about 10 pounds, but it stopped at that. I had no periods for 2+ years, now I'm getting a little spotting here and there but not enough to cause problems. I highly recommend it (after talking with your doctor, yada yada).

ETA: I had a little bit of pain on insertion, but I had taken painkillers before going as suggested and was basically fine by the next morning. Awkward advice: poop before you go. As far as risks of baby- Mirena's effectiveness rate is actually higher than bc pills.

tlc35 · April 2013

According to my drug app, both loestrin and estrostep price out to 80 to 90 dollars a month which is what I pay for Nuva Ring since my insurance doesn't cover it. There are generic BCP that are less expensive. I have no personal experience with IUDs.
If there is anyway around it I would try not to go uninsured. Even a reasonably minor medical emergency like a fracture or appendicitis could be financialy devastating.
ETA and congrats on being under contract!

SB1512 · April 2013

Thanks everyone! Linda your advice is especially helpful. My biggest concern about moving in with the future in-laws is around food. They eat very heavy, basically everything they make is drowned in oil before and during cooking. They even pre-dress salad with a ton of oil (and vinegar, but def heavy on the oil) While I suck it up and tolerate it a couple times a month when we are there for dinner, I refuse to eat like that on a daily basis. I eat a pretty healthy diet both because there are health concerns in my family and because I actually enjoy how health food tastes!

I told FI point blank that I will not be eating his parents cooking everyday, and that if he or them is going to be offended by that, I probably shouldn't be moving in with them. FI actually completely agreed on the food thing and said we will figure out a way to nicely decline their meals most days of the week and prepare are own food.

FI's sister and her husband are also currently living there while they house hunt, so a couple weekends ago I did get a chance to talk to FBIL since he's in the position I'll be in very shortly. He said that basically when his wife isn't home, he doesn't really hang out with the family, and usually he'll find a reason to be out of the house as well. With warm weather upon us, that should be easy, especially since FI's parents live right around the corner from hiking trails.

FI and I talked about the insurance thing today and we decided we'll probably just put me on his until I get a job and then we'll see whose insurance is the better deal. This means I should be able to stay on the pill, which is good because I have had no issues with it, and I def appreciate the clear skin it gives me!

s-aries8990 · April 2013

I was on a generic BCP and because I didn't get a mail-away order, it wasn't covered - it was between $27 & $28 depending on where I got it.

erinlin25 · April 2013

Congrats on the condo!

FI and I currenty are living with his mom and sister. The original plan was 6 months while we got settled up in here starting FI small business. 6 months turned to a year and we arre now about 18 months in. While there are times where we miss our own space, it has not been horrible. We are so busy with work and his mom is on her own schedule and sister is in school it has not been bad. We've been able to focus on our business and save for a down payment on a house of own-- we are now just looking for the right house, and as our wedding is near we hope we can get into something of our own soon. And that being said, it totallly depends on the in-laws. I would never ever survive this long if we lived with my parents. FI is mom is pretty easy to live with and gives us our space for the most part. Sometimes she will make "plans" for us and it annoys us, but we either try to make it work now and then but also are not afraid to have a united front and say sorry we cannot do that.

I agree with cooking-- sometimes we eat what his mom or sister makes, other times we make something for ourselves (or we will cook for them and they either eat it or decide they want something on there own). If his mom plans on cooking a big meal she will usually call us so we can say yes we will eat it, or no we will not.

Cleaning has been my biggest pet peeve. FI and I clean up after ourselves-- mom and sister not always so much; I try to ignore the mess that is not mine or ours, and sometimes If I am home and can't stand the dirty dishes in the sink I'll just suck it up and clean. It bugs me when I never get a thank you, but I let it go and remind myself we are living rent free...

as for BC, only advise I have is when I moved I was not covered for about 6 months. I talked to my doctor before I moved and she gave me a BC script to get me through 6 months; after that I did an independent plan through Blue Shield and it was under $100/month. Now our shop covers the health insuarnace so I only had to pay individually for maybe 3 or 4 months to keep me covered for BC while we worked our way up to having the business health coverage.

condo is on deposit! and a question about BC

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