Intro and Question

Peaseblossom55 · April 2013

Hi everyone. We just got engaged three weeks ago and am beginning to plan our wedding. We're both catholic so we're planning on getting married through the church I belong to. We've been together over three years. He is the love of my life and mostly importantly he makes me laugh every single day. I'm not new to the boards, just this one. I was over on NEY for awhile.

My church needs one year notice before choosing a date. I emailed my church contact last night to see what dates they have available. We have a specific date in mind but I don't know if it will be available. If not we're hoping for sometime in the summer late spring of 2014. Did you get the dates available from your church first and then look for a venue based on their available dates? Or did you try to search for a venue you liked in your area and then get an idea of available church dates?

Just curious!!! I look forward to chatting more.

manjermj · April 2013

Congrats!!

If the church is important to you, I'd nail a date down there first. We called our church first then planned everything else based on that.

bibliophile2010 · April 2013

I think having the church nailed down is more important. In our case, we got married during the off season, so we had our choice of dates. As a result, we were able to take into consideration venue availability as well an email our contact with a date.

As you are venue shopping, I would find out what time the ceremony will be and work around that. It is very likely that there will be set ceremony times (often 10 am or 2 pm on Saturdays) and, to avoid a gap (if that matters to you and your circle), you may want to look at venues with flexible times rather than the typical 6-11 blocks that many places have.

Welcome and congrats on your engagement! Please feel free to stick around, ask questions, and join in the conversation!

professorscience · April 2013

I agree that it's probably best to have a date settled with your church first. It doesn't hurt to look at venues, but we've seen girls on here before who waited too long to set their date with their church, put down a ton of money on a reception venue, and suddenly found themselves with no church in which to get married.

We waited until we'd been penciled in with our church before looking at any reception sites -- no sense in falling in love with something if it wasn't going to be available. It's nice that they require a year's notice, though, because (at least where I got married) that was about how far out some of the best venues would book. It's always better to take care of the big things like location as early as possible!

Welcome and congrats!

agapecarrie · April 2013

It is likely they won't just give you a date. You have to go through the pre-marital investigation before giving a date. Set up a meeting with the priest to discuss marriage preparation and go from there. Do not put any money down on anything before getting a date from the church.

Tami87 · April 2013

Welcome and congrats! I agree with previous posters, I set a date with the church before even looking at reception venues.

If you are eager to get going on wedding planning, it's not a bad idea to do a rough guest list now (don't forget to include wiggle room for new significant others between now and the wedding) so when you are ready to look at reception venues you have an idea of how many people it will need to hold. Nailing down a max number can also help you create a budget, which should be one of the first things you decide. If you have huge families like H and I do then this might be a big concern.

When looking at venues, in my experience some would say that more people/tables could fit than I felt would actually be comfortable in the space. They also may give you a number for amount of people they can fit without a dance floor so be careful of that if you want room for dancing. I would recommend looking at pictures of the venue set up if possible and count tables to get an idea of what worked for others using that space. Also never invite more than your venue can hold and plan on 100% attendance because that person who will surely decline may surprise you and end up coming.

Welcome again and feel free to ask us any questions. Happy planning!

Peaseblossom55 · April 2013

Thanks for all of the great advice! It probably is easier to get dates from the church and search for the venue from there. I think especially since we are flexible with our time frame we should be able to get a great near by venue as well.

We're not in any big rush but we figured we would probably start with the church stuff and then work from there.

itzMS · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_intro-and-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:34fcaab5-d149-4cff-9d9b-941e83983b7bPost:e565342f-e36e-463b-8de2-183988d53497">Re: Intro and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all of the great advice! It probably is easier to get dates from the church and search for the venue from there. I think especially since we are flexible with our time frame we should be able to get a great near by venue as well. We're not in any big rush but we figured we would probably start with the church stuff and then work from there.
Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

Our Church had the same "don't set a date until church requirements are completed and least one year in advance of intended date..." wording in the marriage information packet.

DH & I were slightly concerned as we preferred a shorter engagement for a variety of reasons (so you have even more flexibility in your case!)

In meeting with our Priest, we found he was very kind to pencil (more like pen) the date into the Church calendar. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /> Most Priests are realistic that a lot of time and money goes into planning a party after the Marriage ceremony. Of course, your spiritual prep is of the utmost importance.

Peaseblossom55 · April 2013

I emailed the church contact with all of our information. I think when I hear back from them we'll have to set up a meeting with the priest and from there they discuss everything and pencil in a date. I don't mind the year wait, we are closing on a home in two weeks, so we can focus on the house for a bit and not worry about the wedding planning getting done right away.

chelseamb11 · April 2013

We knew we wanted late June to early July so we contacted the church to find out which dates were available. We also knew which venue and photographer we wanted, so we figure dout their free dates too. We then compared and only one date was available for all three. Bam. Date picked.

Calypso1977 · April 2013

our church let us pick our date but not until the first meeting with the priest. but we were also regular parishioners and he knew us - not sure if that made a difference or not.

you should defintiely book your church first - even if you get the date you want, you may have limitations on what time you can do the ceremony which may determine whether you have a lunch or dinner reception.

sunshineinne · April 2013

With so many people marrying outside of the church now, I actually found it a lot easier to book the church than the venue. I ended up calling the church, and the secretary told me the open dates / times for the month I wanted to get married in - and then I found a venue that had one of those dates open. I know a lot of churches say you need to meet with the priest before securing a date (mine did as well), but they didn't even mention it when I called. We are registered members with our church, (although the priest is new and didn't know us). Don't know if that made a difference at all.

professorscience · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_intro-and-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:34fcaab5-d149-4cff-9d9b-941e83983b7bPost:8d1039c4-2bb5-4e33-ad8a-603c6ba59a04">Re: Intro and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]With so many people marrying outside of the church now, I actually found it a lot easier to book the church than the venue. I ended up calling the church, and the secretary told me the open dates / times for the month I wanted to get married in - and then I found a venue that had one of those dates open. <strong> I know a lot of churches say you need to meet with the priest before securing a date (mine did as well), but they didn't even mention it when I called. </strong> We are registered members with our church, (although the priest is new and didn't know us). Don't know if that made a difference at all.
Posted by sunshineinne[/QUOTE]

<div>Sometimes the initial meetings and paperwork are handled by a pastoral associate. This was the case when my husband and I contacted our church. We were "penciled in" for the date we requested until we came in for our first interview.</div>

monkeysip · April 2013

We had a meeting first with our priest, but it really had nothing to do with marriage. Never asked us anything about marriage, or whether we were free to marry, etc. Just asked us about why we became parishioners there and started talking to us about a bunch of other random stuff.

Less than two months until the wedding... still haven't really been asked anything about marriage. We've even had supposed "marriage prep", but not a single personal question asked. *Shrug*

wittykitty14 · April 2013

We picked a date when we met with our priest back in August. I believe they required at least 6 months, which seems pretty standard. We set ours for this summer, and got the date we wanted. As of now, we're the only wedding set for this summer, so that was pretty easy! We're not in a heavily populated area though, so I can't really speak to the process for churches in urban areas. Congratulations on being engaged!

Calypso1977 · April 2013

witty kitty, i grew up in VT! where about are you??

wittykitty14 · April 2013

Calypso-I'm in the northern chunk of Chittenden county! Where did you grow up?

Calypso1977 · April 2013

i grew up in the white river junction area - i did go to UVM! i have relatives who live in the Fairfax area.

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