Program Question

Re: Program Question

• itzMS member

  

  April 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_program-question-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1eec6f8b-25ef-42f6-8c1a-11c20049012cPost:d37c234b-5b54-4998-9deb-fa818ad314cf">Program Question</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hello everyone! I am getting down to the nitty gritty details! I am curious, is it customary to put something on our wedding programs that honor loved ones who have passed? I have heard some people do and some don't. My fiancee thinks its morbid, but I think its nice. Or should we just have something at the reception where they are honored, or just mention them in a toast? Thanks!
  Posted by NovaMetzler[/QUOTE]
  
  I think the split is 50/50 here.
  
  In your case, since your FI is uncomfortable with the idea, you should skip it.
  
  If both of you felt passionate about having a "Memorial" statement in your programs, that's the time you should have one.

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• NovaMetzler member

  

  April 2013

  Good point, thank you! My grandmother recently passed so we want to honor her, but I think we will just stick to mention it in a toast or something.
  
  Thanks!

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• itzMS member

  

  April 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_program-question-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:1eec6f8b-25ef-42f6-8c1a-11c20049012cPost:d8afc65a-5950-429b-a2e3-c5699fdde775">Re: Program Question</a>:
  [QUOTE]Good point, thank you! My grandmother recently passed so we want to honor her, but I think we will just stick to mention it in a toast or something. Thanks!
  Posted by NovaMetzler[/QUOTE]
  
  Can you just wear something of grandma's instead? (bracelet, ring, handkerchief?)
  Public memorials are really risky and can make people sad when they should be happy for you on your wedding day.
  
  In all honesty, what would you say in a toast?
  <strong>"My grandma passed away in February and I just want everyone to know how much I love her and miss her. Thanks everyone for coming to our wedding! Cheers!"</strong>
  
  FWIW, DH & I have no living grandparents and my father is deceased as well. We didn't make any memorial mentions, so I'm trying to speak from example and not intend to be insensitive.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  April 2013

  Don't toast your grandma or call attention to the fact that she isn't there, because that could be too sad-especially for people who were especially close to her and may feel too much pain at mentions of the reason why she's not there, as well as for people who didn't know her at all and are there to honor you-not her memory.
  
  A mention in a program, or wearing, carrying, or using things that belonged to her or that she enjoyed while alive are better ways to honor the memory of a deceased loved one at a wedding-they honor the contribution that the deceased person made in your lives in a calm, reflective way that doesn't evoke heartbreaking grief-definitely not the right emotion for a wedding, which should be a happy occasion.

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• hutchsl member

  

  April 2013 edited April 2013

  Both DH and my fathers have passed. Our mothers are still living. Our parents never divorced. So to honor our fathers and my mother who is too old to travel to our wedding, we had their wedding photos on display at the guest book table. Personally I am uncomfortable with memorials (they can be morbid) but honoring your family and past generations in a postive way is good. we honored their marriage at our. The photos were interesting as DH and I are less than a year apart in ages but my parents married in 1947 and his in 1960. The photos were reflective of the times.

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