Wedding Party

Cousins as Bridesmaids?? HELP!

Okay, so I already have my MOH and Bridesmaids in mind. However, My Aunt just told me that I should put her daughter and my other cousin in my bridal party as bridesmaids. I really don't know how I feel about this. They are still teenagers (18 & 17 I think)  and I am not super close with them. But I feel like if I don't put them in, everyone will be upset. My Aunt told me that my cousins would be "over the moon" if I put them in. But the two girls have not said a word to me. I also have two other older girl cousins down in FL and I feel it might be weird if they come up for the wedding and they see that my two local cousins are in and they aren't. 

I could really use some advise here.

Re: Cousins as Bridesmaids?? HELP!

  • You choose your BP; no one else has a say in it.  You are under no obligation to have your cousins as BMs, and I would not recommend it if you aren't close to them at all.  Even though all they have to do is get the dress and stand up with you, bridal parties often test relationships; if it's not a good one to begin with, brides come crying back to TheKnot wondering how to kick someone out of their wedding (a friendship-ending move).  
    If you want your cousins to participate but not as BMs, ask them to do a reading at your ceremony.  They can dress however they want, but they still have a special role in your wedding.  Good luck with your aunt!
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited April 2013
    If you really don't know how you feel about this and you're not that close to them, the answer is no. Choosing your bridal party should be a no brainer.The 2 girls standing beside me on my wedding day were 2 of the 3 people I can call in this world at 3 a.m. to help me hide a body if I need to.  

    It's nobody's choice but yours who is in your wedding party. Tell your aunt you have already selected your bridesmaids and change the subject. Repeat as necessary. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I would agree with not having them as bridesmaids, and try to avoid the Aunt's pressure to make you have them as such.  (Out of curiousity, why did she even suggest this?  I didn't have anyone try to tell me who to have in my bridal party - it just comes off as a bit pushy).

    Also, speaking as someone who has a ton of cousins, if you decide to have these cousins who you aren't that close to, how might your other cousins feel?  I have a cousin that I'm really close to, but I didn't ask because I was worried my other cousins would feel slighted.  I'll involve her in another way.  I see asking your two cousins as being a potential problem that can be easily avoided.  So just say to your aunt "I'm sorry but I have already chosen my bridal party."  Maybe they can be readers or ushers. 
    imageimage
  • Thanks for your input! I actually really have no idea why my Aunt is trying to push me to put them in my BP. Maybe she just wants to see them dressed up and getting special attention.

    In Response to Re: Cousins as Bridesmaids?? HELP!:
    I would agree with not having them as bridesmaids, and try to avoid the Aunt's pressure to make you have them as such.  (Out of curiousity, why did she even suggest this?  I didn't have anyone try to tell me who to have in my bridal party - it just comes off as a bit pushy). Also, speaking as someone who has a ton of cousins, if you decide to have these cousins who you aren't that close to, how might your other cousins feel?  I have a cousin that I'm really close to, but I didn't ask because I was worried my other cousins would feel slighted.  I'll involve her in another way.  I see asking your two cousins as being a potential problem that can be easily avoided.  So just say to your aunt "I'm sorry but I have already chosen my bridal party."  Maybe they can be readers or ushers. 
    Posted by kerbohl
  • Thank you for all of your input ladies!!  This really helped me confirm my decision that I should be able to have the final decision on my BMs. I really have no idea why my Aunt is being so pushy with this topic. I might think about having them hand out programs or something.
  • In Response to Re: Cousins as Bridesmaids?? HELP!:
    Thank you for all of your input ladies!!  This really helped me confirm my decision that I should be able to have the final decision on my BMs. I really have no idea why my Aunt is being so pushy with this topic. I might think about having them hand out programs or something.
    Posted by lornaw116
    Don't give them some crap BS made-up job. They don't need to be involved in the wedding. Guest is an honor too.

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    In Response to Re: Cousins as Bridesmaids?? HELP!:
    . I might think about having them hand out programs or something.
    Posted by lornaw116
    Please don't. Being asked to do this is worse than not being "included" at all. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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