Dallas Arboretum worries

alexandra.jourdan · April 2013

Hi ladies, this is my first post! I'm in a pickle and hope to get some good advice.

I have a reservation for the Arboretum for my wedding this fall. They told me at the tour that we had a 5-12 rental, which is totally reasonable. But when I pressed for more details a week later, they told me the ceremony cannot start any earlier than 7 and the music must end at 10:30. This is not negotiable.

The arboretum is so beautiful and it's the perfect date. But with a 1/2 hour ceremony, that's 3 hours for dinner, drinks, cake, dancing, toasts, and bridal party photos.

Does that seem to short to everyone else? Have you ever been to an arboretum wedding, and did it seem rushed?

Thanks for your help in advance

professorscience · April 2013

I think three hours for dinner/drinks/dancing is pretty normal, but including the photos seems a bit much.

Have you considered doing photos BEFORE the ceremony? You could either include a first look with your FI and have lots of time to do photos with the whole WP, or you could try to arrange with your photographer to do as many group shots that keep you and the groom separate as possible, and then you'd have just a few pics to squeeze in after the ceremony, maybe?

aeliza06 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_dallas-arboretum-worries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:4d286209-6532-4bf1-8720-34d81baad13ePost:f5630c0d-4f1c-4c2f-a6eb-b60c6db6327c">Re: Dallas Arboretum worries</a>:
[QUOTE]I think three hours for dinner/drinks/dancing is pretty normal, but including the photos seems a bit much. Have you considered doing photos<strong> BEFORE the ceremony?</strong> You could either include a<strong> first look with your FI and have lots of time to do photos with the whole W...</strong>
Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]
This. We had a 3 hour reception after a scheduled half hour ceremony that really only took 10 minutes. <div>First look and pictures beforehand really helped with time and allowed us to just <em>enjoy</em> our reception. At the time, I <strong>wished </strong>our reception had been longer, however, we had most of our guests for our exit and our exit pictures looked AWESOME because we still had so many people! We also unofficially after-partied at our hotel with our younger guests and have some incredible memories. So in true retrospect, I don't regret a thing. </div>

nextrightthing · April 2013

Did you sign a contract?

fallbride1109 · April 2013

My reception (dinner portion) was 8:30-11:30 and we did dinner, dancing, toasts, etc. and it was fine. Hire a good DJ that will keep everything on pace.

However, we also did a first look and had a cocktail hour. Without a cocktail hour for your guests, I think using the two hours before the ceremony for pictures is almost a must. You don't want to keep them waiting after the ceremony while you do pictures.

It's going to be tight--your reception is not going to start right at 7:30 so it's really not even a full 3 hours. Hiring good vendors will be crucial to keep everything on track. It would also be a good idea to hire vendors that have worked the Arboretum before.

FWIW, a first look and bride and groom photos at the Arboretum will be beautiful and worth doing. We had a Knottie get married there before my wedding and her wedding is still one of my favorites I have seen on this board.

alexandra.jourdan · April 2013

I haven't signed a contract yet. I would just have to live with the situation if I had! I have a few weeks to decide.

The first look/photos before is a great idea. I would be a little sad to give up the moment of my groom seeing me for the first time at the ceremony... that is definitely a romantic thing that I was looking forward to!

Good point about the reception not starting right at 7:30. There will be some lag time no matter what. Most of our guests will be 20-something friends and I know they will be eager to keep dancing way past 10:30! An afterparty is another great idea, but for the price the arboretum charges I think it's a little silly that I'll have to organize another party...

professorscience · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_dallas-arboretum-worries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:4d286209-6532-4bf1-8720-34d81baad13ePost:2e1d7d56-d4a2-479f-8f3d-b69417d3bf42">Re: Dallas Arboretum worries</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't signed a contract yet. I would just have to live with the situation if I had! I have a few weeks to decide. The first look/photos before is a great idea. I would be a little sad to give up the moment of my groom seeing me for the first time at the ceremony... that is definitely a romantic thing that I was looking forward to! Good point about the reception not starting right at 7:30. There will be some lag time no matter what. Most of our guests will be 20-something friends and I know they will be eager to keep dancing way past 10:30! An afterparty is another great idea, but for the price the arboretum charges I think it's a little silly that I'll have to organize another party...
Posted by alexandra.jourdan[/QUOTE]

<div>Most people who do a first look say it was just as special as if the first time the bride and groom saw each other was as the bride went down the aisle. A lot of girls said it actually helped relieve some of the anxiety they were feeling, and it was a very special, private moment. We opted not to do a first look, but we were also not on a tight timeframe. I love seeing the pictures/videos of them, because they are always so incredibly emotional!</div><div>
</div><div>FWIW, there were 2 (and a half?) afterparties after my wedding, and I had no hand in planning any of them. After the wedding, most of the younger people went to one of our favorite bars to hang out (that's the half). My ILs rented patio space at Hotel Palomar for the older adults, and some of our friends hosted another party at their house for the younger adults. We made an appearance at the bar and the Palomar party, but by then we were EXHAUSTED and went on to our hotel. My point is, if your friends and family want to keep the party going, they will find a way. If not, you have done your part by throwing an awesome reception -- you deserve some time to enjoy being married.</div><div>
</div><div>If you're at all unhappy with the Arboretum, I say walk away. While it's a gorgeous venue, it's just not going to be worth it if you're second-guessing or disappointed the whole time. There are other beautiful venues in that area for less money with fewer restrictions.</div>

fallbride1109 · April 2013

We decided a month before the wedding to do the first look and even though we are very traditional, I don't regret it AT ALL. As you can see by my siggy, I am now a convert.

However--the day goes by so fast, I would hate for you to feel rushed or in any way regret your decision. By 11:30 I was pretty pooped so no after party for us, but I also had a full 4.5 hour wedding and even that went by in the blink of an eye.

If you have your heart set on the Arboretum, you can make it work. Hundreds of brides do. But if doing a first look is something that you definitely don't want, then I would reconsider.

alexandra.jourdan · April 2013

Thanks for all the great ideas! I'm relieved that the First Look is just as special as walking down the aisle. It sounds like a good timesaver regardless of the venue.

I'm going to look at a couple more places (Belmont, Stoneleigh & Audubon Center) with more favorable hours and make a decision. The arboretum is stunning but 3 hours will go by in the blink of an eye for sure!

alexandra.jourdan · April 2013

professorscience - what did you do about transportation to afterparties? There will be quite a few out of town guests and I don't want anyone to have to go home at 10:30 because they don't have cars, yet that seems tricky to organize.

courtski2004 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_dallas-arboretum-worries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:4d286209-6532-4bf1-8720-34d81baad13ePost:2e1d7d56-d4a2-479f-8f3d-b69417d3bf42">Re: Dallas Arboretum worries</a>:
[QUOTE] The first look/photos before is a great idea.<strong> I would be a little sad to give up the moment of my groom seeing me for the first time at the ceremony... that is definitely a romantic thing that I was looking forward to!</strong>
Posted by alexandra.jourdan[/QUOTE]

I thought the same thing--the most important picture that I wanted was a reaction shot of J seeing me come down the aisle. As we got closer to the wedding, I knew that we would really need to get all the WP pictures done prior to the ceremony, so I made time for a first look so that he and I would have some alone time before all the hoopla started. I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything.

When I was walking down the aisle, I wasn't immediately looking at him--I was taken in by everything else. The music, my dad whispering ridiculous things to me that kept <em>him</em> from breaking down ("Thank goodness they're all looking at you and not me, buddy"), seeing the Church full of our family and friends, it was all very overwhelming. After about 3 or 4 steps I was completely focused on him, but I didn't see his immediate reaction. It meant a lot more to me to see it up close in private than from 50 feet away. And now I'm tearing up at my desk. :)

fallbride1109 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_dallas-arboretum-worries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:4d286209-6532-4bf1-8720-34d81baad13ePost:d451f600-f82f-4a12-8d66-6a59d5941574">Re: Dallas Arboretum worries</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all the great ideas! I'm relieved that the First Look is just as special as walking down the aisle. It sounds like a good timesaver regardless of the venue. I'm going to look at a couple more places (Belmont, Stoneleigh & Audubon Center) with more favorable hours and make a decision. The arboretum is stunning but 3 hours will go by in the blink of an eye for sure!
Posted by alexandra.jourdan[/QUOTE]

The Stoneleigh is beee-u-tiful and was my second choice (not available on my date). My boss got married though and it was so nice. If you're talking about Trinity River Audubon Center, I attended a wedding of a former Knottie there and it was also very nice. They have a very pretty outdoor ceremony space, great for a sunset ceremony.

I couldn't even get the Arboretum to call me back. It is beautiful, but I'm not really a fan of their service. They are almost like a wedding factory, they get so many inquiries. Also on my short list was Arlington Hall at Lee Park.

professorscience · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_dallas-arboretum-worries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:4d286209-6532-4bf1-8720-34d81baad13ePost:d6baaee6-343c-4c04-b0fe-45df78359d14">Re: Dallas Arboretum worries</a>:
[QUOTE]professorscience - what did you do about transportation to afterparties? There will be quite a few out of town guests and I don't want anyone to have to go home at 10:30 because they don't have cars, yet that seems tricky to organize.
Posted by alexandra.jourdan[/QUOTE]

<div>We also had a lot of OOT guests, but I think they either brought or rented cars or arranged to ride with friends. When we attended a wedding in Newport, RI, we split the cost of a rental car with some of our other friends who were flying in.</div><div>
</div><div>Again, since we didn't plan the afterparties, we didn't really have to worry about getting people from point A to point B. They were just great chances for people to stay together and keep enjoying each other's company.</div><div>
</div><div>If you're worried about it, there are plenty of limo companies that could probably rent you a party bus. I wouldn't think it would be that big of a deal as long as these are semi-spontaneous, "Hey, let's all get together at ____________________" parties.</div>

alexandra.jourdan · April 2013

Aww, that's pretty adorable Courtski! I am prone to getting overwhelmed and it sounds like a way to take a little pressure off the big moment without losing the emotion.

Stephie, glad to hear you liked the Audubon Center. I am going to visit soon for the first time. Totally different vibe (and price!) than Stoneleigh but the pictures I've seen are charming.

The Arboretum really does act like a wedding factory! They are totally inflexible (we offered to pay for our own extra staff to speed setup and got a no), probably because they know they are beautiful and don't really need your business. I called Arlington Hall but they're booked this fall and I'm determined to get married Fall '13!

nextrightthing · April 2013

I talked with the Arboretum, too, and I agree that their service leaves something to be desired. It is beautiful, but in my opinion, service is SO important with a wedding venue! You are paying a lot of money and deserve great service. That being said, I also corresponded with the coordinator at the Stoneleigh and she was great, and I have heard nothing but good things about it.

fallbride1109 · April 2013

Yes there's really no comparing the Stoneleigh to TRAC--totally different vibe. Here is a link to her pics if you want to take a look.

http://www.mcgowanimages.com/blog/?p=10098

http://www.mcgowanimages.com/blog/?p=10150

And here is Elle's wedding at the Arboretum.

http://www.mcgowanimages.com/blog/?p=1079

aeliza06 · April 2013

Also- the TRAC is out there- if you are worried about transportation- that is an issue that the TRAC has (and no decent hotels close by). Additionally, you cannot set up at the TRAC until after 5pm and you have to be out by midnight, I believe. It might have changed since I was considering it. BEAUTIFUL venue though.

I too adore the Stoneleigh, and the Belmont for that matter. Great choices!

Have you considered Texas Discovery Gardens? I do not believe that they impose too many restrictions.

alexandra.jourdan · April 2013

I would love to do Texas Discovery Gardens but they are closed during the fair, which is sort of the sweet spot of when I'd like to have the wedding.

Very good point about TRAC transportation, I will have to ask about that when I visit. The rental starts at 4 and you can pay for additional hours past midnight - maybe a new policy and one that I was very attracted by!

fallbride1109 · April 2013

I agree TRAC's location is not the best and as a guest, it was a very long walk from where I parked to the entrance in heels over gravel which I didn't love.

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