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How to deal with divorced parents on invite, plus extra

hgminorhgminor member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
My parents offered to host most of the reception (gave me a set amount of money to work with). Our plan was to use that and then cover the rest ourselves.

My FI's parents are divorced (and it wasn't amicable, and they never interact, even when it comes to their children). They are both in other relationships now.

My FFIL and his wife have offered to help cover the rest of the costs (though we won't let them cover everything, but it was very nice of them and we are super appreciative). However, when my FMIL spoke to my FI on the phone about the wedding, she told him that if he needed anything to just ask his father (note- he didn't ASK her for money- this was just her response to talking about the planning phase). So as of now it's a joint hosting by my parents, my FFIL and wife, and ourselves.

I am very unsure of how to word the invitations for hosting the reception and wedding in a way that won't hurt my FMIL. I'm close to both of his parents, and I don't want that to change!
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Re: How to deal with divorced parents on invite, plus extra

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Together with their parents is the best way to go here.
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    wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with banana!  :)

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    hgminorhgminor member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    That's what I thought, too! But I just wanted to check :) Thanks all!
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Your parents worked with you regarding hosting the wedding and reception, and they have given you a set amount of money to work with.  So your parents' names go on the top line of the wedding invitation.

    Your FMIL has not given you any money, and when the issue came up later, she referred you and FI to her ex-husband, who hasn't given you any money.  They are not going to be working with you regarding napkin colors or anything else - they can't even get together with what they are doing and not doing, except pointing at each other.  They are not hosting your wedding and reception, and their names do not go on the wedding invitation.
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    However, if your FI's parents choose, they can host the RD, and their names would go on the top line of the RD invitations.
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    Anastasia517Anastasia517 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-deal-with-divorced-parents-on-invite-plus-extra?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:29dbdadd-6fd1-4368-a9d3-fa5b401b5e01Post:796dd028-0f09-4218-a968-8b916c6ef269">Re: How to deal with divorced parents on invite, plus extra</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your parents worked with you regarding hosting the wedding and reception, and they have given you a set amount of money to work with.  So your parents' names go on the top line of the wedding invitation. Your FMIL has not given you any money, and when the issue came up later, she referred you and FI to her ex-husband, who hasn't given you any money.  They are not going to be working with you regarding napkin colors or anything else - they can't even get together with what they are doing and not doing, except pointing at each other.  They are not hosting your wedding and reception, and their names do not go on the wedding invitation.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    <div>The only thing is her FFIL & FSMIL are helping pay and have offered to cover anything they need.  Your 1930s logic doesn't apply.</div>
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_how-to-deal-with-divorced-parents-on-invite-plus-extra?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:29dbdadd-6fd1-4368-a9d3-fa5b401b5e01Post:796dd028-0f09-4218-a968-8b916c6ef269">Re: How to deal with divorced parents on invite, plus extra</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your parents worked with you regarding hosting the wedding and reception, and they have given you a set amount of money to work with.  So your parents' names go on the top line of the wedding invitation. Your FMIL has not given you any money, and when the issue came up later, she referred you and FI to her ex-husband, who hasn't given you any money.  They are not going to be working with you regarding napkin colors or anything else - they can't even get together with what they are doing and not doing, except pointing at each other.  They are not hosting your wedding and reception, and their names do not go on the wedding invitation.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    Did you ever consider that his parents have a divorce agreement where the mom negotiated a monetary responsibility from the dad to the kid for his wedding? Also, since when do colors and napkin involvement have anything to do with hosting.
    If the couple gets $$$ from his dad, then simply it is with the parents, as everyone but you said.
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