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Only kids in ceremony

lauradoucelauradouce member
First Anniversary
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Help please! My fianc has two children from a previous marriage whom I am very close with. At the time of the wedding his daughter will be 10 1/2 and his son will be 5. I only want them to stand up with us with maybe one other maid of honor/ best man type on each side, BUT I would still like to honor other close friends and family members in some way. I just like the idea of having the ceremony more intimate and kind of hate the idea of bridesmaids. I've thought about telling my 'would be bridesmaids' to wear the same color dress of their choosing and we would still have some pictures taken. Thoughts?! How can I pull this off?
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Re: Only kids in ceremony

  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_only-kids-in-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:6429efbe-7482-4356-a915-115f1253b1bcPost:926c1943-dc8e-4fa5-bc08-933219def5a1">Only kids in ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Help please! My fianc has two children from a previous marriage whom I am very close with. At the time of the wedding his daughter will be 10 1/2 and his son will be 5. I only want them to stand up with us with maybe one other maid of honor/ best man type on each side, BUT I would still like to honor other close friends and family members in some way. I just like the idea of having the ceremony more intimate and kind of hate the idea of bridesmaids. I've thought about telling my 'would be bridesmaids' to wear the same color dress of their choosing and we would still have some pictures taken. Thoughts?! How can I pull this off?
    Posted by lauradouce[/QUOTE]
    If they're not actually bridesmaids you can't tell them how to dress (e.g. color).  The only real honor other than being a bridesmaid is being a reader or an usher.  Also, keep in mind that you pick your side and your FI picks his.  You shouldn't be dictating how many people or who he chooses to stand up with him.



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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You either want them in the ceremony or you don't. As PPs suggested, just take pics with them; they don't have to be in coordinating attire. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2013
    since a bridesmaid technically only needs to just show up to your wedding in the dress you choose on time, what you are suggesting would make them a bridesmaid... Picka color, let them pick a dress of their choosing, but then let them stand up as a bridesmaid.  Or let them wear whatever they wany and sit with your guests. 
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  • beautiflawbeautiflaw member
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_only-kids-in-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:6429efbe-7482-4356-a915-115f1253b1bcPost:926c1943-dc8e-4fa5-bc08-933219def5a1">Only kids in ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Help please! My fianc has two children from a previous marriage whom I am very close with. At the time of the wedding his daughter will be 10 1/2 and his son will be 5. I only want them to stand up with us with maybe one other maid of honor/ best man type on each side, BUT I would still like to honor other close friends and family members in some way. I just like the idea of having the ceremony more intimate and kind of hate the idea of bridesmaids. I've thought about telling my 'would be bridesmaids' to wear the same color dress of their choosing and we would still have some pictures taken. Thoughts?! How can I pull this off?
    Posted by lauradouce[/QUOTE]

    I think that is a super sweet thing to do! Go for it!

    I did something similar! I had friends I wanted to honor but couldn't be bridesmaids for various reasons and I had them read passages (poems and scriptures) during the ceremony, and made sure I had pictures with them. I told them to wear whatever they wanted though. But if you want to have them wear a certain color that would be fine.
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_only-kids-in-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:6429efbe-7482-4356-a915-115f1253b1bcPost:a5f8652d-a0c2-46c7-9930-03307bd62d9f">Re: Only kids in ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Only kids in ceremony : I think that is a super sweet thing to do! Go for it! I did something similar! I had friends I wanted to honor but couldn't be bridesmaids for various reasons and I had them read passages (poems and scriptures) during the ceremony, and made sure I had pictures with them. I told them to wear whatever they wanted though. <strong>But if you want to have them wear a certain color that would be fine.</strong>
    Posted by beautiflaw[/QUOTE]

    no, no it would not.  As PPs have said, you cannot dictate the attire of guests. It is rude.
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