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Catholic Weddings

blesshisheart...I might kill him (small vent).

As I mentioned in my GTKY post, Fi is converting to Catholicism. He was going to go through traditional RCIA classes, but then they didn't work because of his work schedule (he works 3 to 11 p.m. Sun-Thurs, and the classes met on Wednesday).

So we talked to the priest at the church we had recenly started going to (I moved to the town where he lives, which was about an hour from the town where I had been living, so we had to find a new church, together, which was actually super-fun!), if he could help us. He oh-so-amazingly-graciously agreed to give FI one-on-one RCIA classes: two hours, once a week. I go, too, because FI wanted me to and the priest wanted me to and it has been SUCH a boon for my faith.

(OT: If you ever have the chance to go to/participate in/help out with RCIA classes, I cannot recommend it enough).

ALSO -- this priest will be traveling to my hometown to marry us, which is JUST SO AWESOME I can't even put it into words. 

At the very beginning of RCIA, he said he needed two copies of FI's baptismal certificates -- one for the diocese for the Confirmation record, one for the diocese for our marriage records (we are doing pre-Cana and RCIA and living in one diocese, but getting married in my home diocese. And of course, as a cradle Catholic, I only needed one copy for the diocese).

That was in January. JANUARY. 

We are now three sessions (one tomorrow, one next week, one the week after) away from being done.

FI has still not gotten his baptismal record. I had my second-ever bridezilla moment tonight. Our conversation went more or less like this:

Me: "You need to get your baptismal certificate and you need to get it THIS WEEK. We can't do your Confirmation without it, and we can't do our pre-Cana without it, and there are only two weekends left of pre-Cana -- one of which is five weeks away -- before our wedding (in our diocese), so we need to get on top of this."

(SN: Yes, we could do pre-Cana in the next diocese over (we're in City A and we could do it in City B, which is 20 minutes away, because we live on the very edge of our diocese), but I would rather do it in our home diocese with other couples from our church).

Him: I know, I know. I have to do that.

Me: You say you know you have to do this, but I have seen no effort from you in doing it. I do not believe you that you know you need to do this. 

Him: You're angry, aren't you?

What. Was. Your. First. Clue?

I know everything will be OK, I really do, and I trust God that things will work out -- if the June session is booked up and we have to do August, there was a reason for it -- but this is the ONLY area of wedding planning about which I am stressing out.

Anniversary

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I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

Re: blesshisheart...I might kill him (small vent).

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited April 2013
    The baptismal certificate is to prove that neither of you have been married before. To need it for pre-cana is not generally required. 
  • In Response to Re: blesshisheart...I might kill him (small vent).:
    The baptismal certificate is to prove that neither of you have been married before. To need it for pre-cana is not generally required. 
    Posted by agapecarrie
    But we need it for his Confirmation, which is coming up in three-ish weeks. He can't be confirmed without it.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • That is frustrating!!  I think my husband and I had a lot of those moments during the wedding planning process, too... lots more arguments on average than we have have now, for sure!  My husband's "RCIA" before our wedding was school... so I got really annoyed when I tried to delegate basic planning tasks to him and they didn't get done.  Don't worry... he'll get there!  And after that, you'll get married... and never have to plan a wedding again :-)
  • If he can't come up with his baptismal certificate, I think they can do a "conditional baptism" prior to confirmation.  They did this for one person in my RCIA class.

    Also, yes.  That is frustrating.
    Anniversary

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  • In Response to Re: blesshisheart...I might kill him (small vent).:
    If he can't come up with his baptismal certificate, I think they can do a "conditional baptism" prior to confirmation.  They did this for one person in my RCIA class. Also, yes.  That is frustrating.
    Posted by professorscience

    You seriously just became my favorite person in the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    I know it's stupid to be stressing about this -- the priest isn't, so why should I be? -- but we've specifically scheduled his Confirmation for a Saturday night so his grandmother (who raised him) can come watch (she's Lutheran and I wouldn't want to ask her to skip her church, which is the same time as our Mass) and my parents (who are Catholic) are coming down for the ceremony (FI asked my dad to be his sponsor, which touched me so much).

    But having now co-ordinated everyone's schedules for Confirmation, I *REALLY* don't want to have to be like, "Oh, false alarm, we're doing it another time." 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I hope I didn't get your hopes up unnecessarily -- the conditional baptism is only done in extreme circumstances, like the church where he was baptized burned down, taking all records with it.  So make sure he does exhaust all avenues trying to find it!
    Anniversary

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  • In Response to Re: blesshisheart...I might kill him (small vent).:
    I hope I didn't get your hopes up unnecessarily -- the conditional baptism is only done in extreme circumstances, like the church where he was baptized burned down, taking all records with it.  So make sure he does exhaust all avenues trying to find it!
    Posted by professorscience
    I didn't say I planned to tell FI this might be an option. Laughing Oh no, no, no. His sorry self will be on the phone with the church secretary tomorrow right after RCIA finding out about getting a copy of that certificate. 
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • They won't do a conditional baptism if they know he was baptized. Even if they don't have records, then they'll ask for family members who witnessed it to verify that it was done.

    lemclane, I realize you need the cert for confirmation. I thought you were talking about having to change your pre-cana dates due to not having the cert. which didn't make much sense to me
  • No, I know we don't need them for preCana; but he has it in his head do not ask me why that we can't sign up for that until he is Confirmed. He wants to do things in a certain order, I think. Which is fine, but we are running out of time here. Also, I know I'm stressed and PMSing, but after a weekend of 'we just don't know' answers from his family on everything from whether they'll be attending the RD and the rehearsal, including his family members who are IN THE WEDDING, I feel like I need him to step up and start organising things a little more.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I might have missed it, but was your FI baptized Catholic or in a protestant church?

    Also, I am a convert and have been an RCIA sponsor (that's actually where I met H -- he was also a sponsor!), and agree that it is a wonderful opportunity for growing in faith!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I totally know what you mean...my H dragged his feet on getting his baptismal record, and I was so stressed about it. 

     

  • He was baptised Protestant. Our priest has said his Protestant baptism isn't a problem for Confirmation, but we do of course need the record of said Baptism. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought RCIA was amazing!! I'm totally volunteering during our parish's classes next year!
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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