I fear I am on the verge of a melt down and I have only been engaged for two weeks!
I have been consistently hounded about who's going to be in the wedding party. How many people are going to stand up at the alter with us. What the color & style the gowns are going to be. What gifts am I planning on giving my maids...etc...
And then the line got really crossed...but let me give you a little back story first...
My FI and I are planning our wedding for June 2014. In fact, we are in the process of making our decision between two places. There will be a confirmed date and deposit set by the end of the month. I have said to my family and friends (mainly family) that I'm not setting ANY details until all things are secure...
Plus, I have a little more on my plate right now. I am the MOH at one of my best and dearest friend's wedding that is taking place this August. It's more important to me right now to be as on top of my game for her. I cannot possibly juggle two weddings at once. It's not fair for either of us.
Of course, I pretty much already know who I'm going to ask to be a BM. It's just not the right time yet. In confidence, I discussed with my mother what I was possibly planning on doing and told her NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. I needed to cordinate with my FI and see who he was thinking of asking (that's a mess too). I also expressed that I wanted to do something really special and by suprise. I needed to have "talks" with them about the financial responsibility, travel, etc. to ensure I was stretching anyone's resources too far.
Two days later I get a text from my cousin asking me what color the bridesmaid dresses were going to be. A little putoff I replied that I hadn't had time to think about it yet. The next thing she said to me was her dad told me you were going to make me a bridesmaid (her dad is my mom's brother). I was HORRIFIED!!! I tried to handle the situation with diplomacy. I told her I hadn't thought about it yet. Nor, did my FI decide if we were going to elope or go traditional. Essentially, I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up yet.
Ever since then I have been SOOO mad at my mom! She admitted to telling my uncle! Her defense was that my cousin probably 'assumed' she would be in it anyway. How could she go behind my back and tell people all the details that I'm still trying to figure out.
Then it happed again today from another family member. What's with the urgency to pick our party. Why can't all of this bridal party stuff just wait until after August? It's still 10 months notice!!!
I just have no idea what to do or how to handle this.