What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused

GriffinsMustFly · April 2013

All I ever really wanted to do is grow up to write books and be a barefoot housewife in the kitchen, with a bunch of little kids running around and the typical "church lady" who likes to go around and help everyone out. But in today's economy that isn't possible

I know I need to get a career in order to help support a family but the problem is that I don't like the sound of anything that I would do for a living, save for write. I used to be a columist for a newspaper back in high school and I've written a few books and people say I would be an amazing writer, but journalism is dead and I don't know if it would be possible to be a freelancer and make enough money to live on. Being a novelist is no certain thing, either. My dream is to go to a four year college to study English, but my family makes way too much money to get any aid and my parents say that they won't help pay for it, which means I'd end up 60,000+ in debt ($800 a month once I'm out of school). I've asked everyone I know what to do and nobody has any ideas. I work really hard as a waitress but my boss steals from my paycheck so I end up making a little over $100 a week. I've tried applying for internships and jobs but so far I haven't gotten anything. My only remaining option is going back to community to get certified in a trade, and then working off the debt, but nothing sounds appealing. I feel trapped in my parents house and jealous of everyone else. My bf gets a free ride and I feel so inferior compared to him because he's making something of himself and I'm not, even though he tells me that it's not too late. I'm 20 and I feel hopeless. I'm putting in well over 40 hours a week between waitressing, applying for other jobs and trying to sell my writing (staying up till 1 am most days). My career is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I cry about it everyday, and it's starting to affect my friends and my relationship. I'm tired and burnt out. All I want to do is find my way. I dream of my wedding everyday but how am I ever going to get married if I can't even contribute to the marriage by doing my share? My bf says he doesn't care but it really bothers me. I hate complaining because I believe that hard work can fix almost any issue but this is building up in me for months now and I have no clue what to do. Has anyone else ever had this problem?

suzie211 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:f5992d7d-eee4-4379-9086-cab7818a82d8">What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]All I ever really wanted to do is grow up to write books and be a barefoot housewife in the kitchen, with a bunch of little kids running around and the typical "church lady" who likes to go around and help everyone out. But in today's economy that isn't possible :( I know I need to get a career in order to help support a family but the problem is that I don't like the sound of anything that I would do for a living, save for write. I used to be a columist for a newspaper back in high school and I've written a few books and people say I would be an amazing writer, but journalism is dead and I don't know if it would be possible to be a freelancer and make enough money to live on. Being a novelist is no certain thing, either. My dream is to go to a four year college to study English, but my family makes way too much money to get any aid and my parents say that they won't help pay for it, which means I'd end up 60,000+ in debt ($800 a month once I'm out of school). I've asked everyone I know what to do and nobody has any ideas. I work really hard as a waitress but my boss steals from my paycheck so I end up making a little over $100 a week. I've tried applying for internships and jobs but so far I haven't gotten anything. My only remaining option is going back to community to get certified in a trade, and then working off the debt, but nothing sounds appealing. I feel trapped in my parents house and jealous of everyone else. My bf gets a free ride and I feel so inferior compared to him because he's making something of himself and I'm not, even though he tells me that it's not too late. I'm 20 and I feel hopeless. I'm putting in well over 40 hours a week between waitressing, applying for other jobs and trying to sell my writing (staying up till 1 am most days). My career is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I cry about it everyday, and it's starting to affect my friends and my relationship. I'm tired and burnt out. All I want to do is find my way. I dream of my wedding everyday but how am I ever going to get married if I can't even contribute to the marriage by doing my share? My bf says he doesn't care but it really bothers me. I hate complaining because I believe that hard work can fix almost any issue but this is building up in me for months now and I have no clue what to do. Has anyone else ever had this problem?
Posted by GriffinsMustFly[/QUOTE]

First off, paragraphs are your friend. As a writer, you probably should know that.

Second, you're young. There is no need to know what you are going to do with your life right this second. A degree may not make that any clearer. I'm in my thirties and I question if my career is what I want to do forever all the time. You have plenty of time to figure this out.

Paying for college may seem daunting, but many people have paid for it on their own. I went to school full time and worked full time in order to pay for mine. You are not unique in this situation. Are you determined to go to one college? Have you thought about local community college as a stepping stone to a four year degree? Many people start out there. It would help keep costs down. Community college doesn't neccesarily mean just a trade certificate. I know many people that have studied in their desired program first at the CC level. My brother has an engineering degree and started at the CC level.

Yes, you will be required to show your parents financials, but there are many grants and scholarships out there that can help pay for college. Have you looked into every option to pay for school or are you just assuming that you can't afford to go?

Third, SLOW YOUR ROLL. Are you engaged yet? You reference a BF, which makes me think you aren't. If you haven't communicated with each other and agreed to get married, there is no need to worry about your wedding. Enjoy your relationship as is, and worry about contributing to a marriage later.

If your finances are tied together getting up every morning and going to a job, is contributing. Stay at home mothers don't contribute financially, but contribute to their relationships and families just the same. You don't need to be making 6 figures to be worthy of marriage.

bethsmiles · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:10aa54bc-101e-4f58-9f5e-dafeabaa76b2">Re: What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused : First off, paragraphs are your friend. As a writer, you probably should know that. Second, you're young. There is no need to know what you are going to do with your life right this second. A degree may not make that any clearer. I'm in my thirties and I question if my career is what I want to do forever all the time. You have plenty of time to figure this out. Paying for college may seem daunting, but many people have paid for it on their own. I went to school full time and worked full time in order to pay for mine. You are not unique in this situation. Are you determined to go to one college? <strong>Have you thought about local community college as a stepping stone to a four year degree? Many people start out there. It would help keep costs down. Community college doesn't neccesarily mean just a trade certificate. I know many people that have studied in their desired program first at the CC level. </strong> My brother has an engineering degree and started at the CC level. Yes, you will be required to show your parents financials, but there are many grants and scholarships out there that can help pay for college. Have you looked into every option to pay for school or are you just assuming that you can't afford to go? Third, SLOW YOUR ROLL. Are you engaged yet? You reference a BF, which makes me think you aren't. If you haven't communicated with each other and agreed to get married, there is no need to worry about your wedding. Enjoy your relationship as is, and worry about contributing to a marriage later. If your finances are tied together getting up every morning and going to a job, is contributing. Stay at home mothers don't contribute financially, but contribute to their relationships and families just the same. You don't need to be making 6 figures to be worthy of marriage.
Posted by suzie211[/QUOTE]

I agree with Suzie 100%, especially the bolded part. Community college is a great place to start and can save you A LOT of money.

I don't want to sound mean but you post sounds like you've just decided you can't do anything and haven't really looked into all the options.

GriffinsMustFly · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:5cb66c59-bb58-4912-966e-d4216ee9cc07">Re: What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused : I agree with Suzie 100%, especially the bolded part. Community college is a great place to start and can save you A LOT of money. I don't want to sound mean but you post sounds like you've just decided you can't do anything and haven't really looked into all the options.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

bethsmiles · April 2013

Was there a point to quoting my post?

ravenray · April 2013

First off, the girls are right CC/JCs are a great way to start out your career. I just transferred this year from a CC to a University and it was one of the best decisions of my life. CC often have amazing professor. It's always a great, cheap way to explore your options and interests.

Second off, one does not necessarily have to pull equal weight in a marriage through income. But the other girls are right; you have plenty of other things to work on so I wouldn't worry about marriage right now.

It is still possible to be a stay at home mom, even in this economy, but maybe not right away. Don't give up; keep applying to jobs and internships. Ask them why you didn't get accepted in order to improve your application. Can you volunteer at some places? Sometimes that helps you get your foot in the door.

thejucheidea · April 2013

.......... who are you.

s-aries8990 · April 2013

1) Find another job. Anything else somewhere else. You and your current job don't fit together.

2) Community colleges are a great way to start on an Assoc. degree, not just a trade. Assoc. degrees are usually more liberal arts and general studies focused, but not always. Some of the my county's CC has had many kids transfer to the local top engineering schools (MIT and UMass Lowell), to Harvard, BU, BC, Columbia, etc.

3) Start out part time, do one or two classes at a time. It will be much easier to finagle a work schedule around only one or two classes instead of 5 classes full time. It will also be easier to keep up with payments and you may end up with WAYY less debt than if you went to a 4 year private school

4) Start taking some YOU time. Get out of the house, to a new location and go for a walk, write some free form poetry, or take an art class. This will help you destress and get your creativity flowing.

5) Just start saving money through an auto-transfer at your bank. Even if it's just $5-10 a week to start, start gradually increasing it by $5-10 more per week every few months once you've adjusted to your new budget. It's much easier to miss $100/week than just $5-10 more/week. You really need to just start putting money aside and this habit will help with paying for school, expenses, emergencies, or even a wedding. I'm NEY and I know that neirther BF's (who I'll probably end up with) or my parents will be able to contribute anything so I've gotten into the habit of just saving money every week and over the course of 10 months I've gone from $25/week to $85/week. ALSO, there are websites like mint.com and learnvest.com to help with money management.

6) Journalism isn't dead, it's changing.

7) "fair share" isn't just financials, it's taking care of the marriage, the home and the individuals. You have to be the best and most happy "you" in order to contribute more because a nasty or depressed spouse puts a strain on everything.

Just relax and focus one ONE thing at a time. So, right now, focus on getting a new job. In your time off, look into writers groups and join one. This will help with editing and self-editing as well as inspiration and motivation.

cu97tiger · April 2013

tl;dr

But there were several ladies who have more patience than I do (and maybe better eyesight), so I'd listen to what they are saying.

peekaboo2011 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:f5992d7d-eee4-4379-9086-cab7818a82d8">What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]All I ever really wanted to do is grow up to write books and be a barefoot housewife in the kitchen, with a bunch of little kids running around and the typical "church lady" who likes to go around and help everyone out. But in today's economy that isn't possible :( I know I need to get a career in order to help support a family but the problem is that I don't like the sound of anything that I would do for a living, save for write. I used to be a columist for a newspaper back in high school and I've written a few books and people say I would be an amazing writer, but journalism is dead and I don't know if it would be possible to be a freelancer and make enough money to live on. Being a novelist is no certain thing, either. My dream is to go to a four year college to study English, but my family makes way too much money to get any aid and my parents say that they won't help pay for it, which means I'd end up 60,000+ in debt ($800 a month once I'm out of school). I've asked everyone I know what to do and nobody has any ideas. I work really hard as a waitress but my boss steals from my paycheck so I end up making a little over $100 a week. I've tried applying for internships and jobs but so far I haven't gotten anything. My only remaining option is going back to community to get certified in a trade, and then working off the debt, but nothing sounds appealing. I feel trapped in my parents house and jealous of everyone else. My bf gets a free ride and I feel so inferior compared to him because he's making something of himself and I'm not, even though he tells me that it's not too late. I'm 20 and I feel hopeless. I'm putting in well over 40 hours a week between waitressing, applying for other jobs and trying to sell my writing (staying up till 1 am most days). My career is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I cry about it everyday, and it's starting to affect my friends and my relationship. I'm tired and burnt out. All I want to do is find my way. I dream of my wedding everyday but how am I ever going to get married if I can't even contribute to the marriage by doing my share? My bf says he doesn't care but it really bothers me. I hate complaining because I believe that hard work can fix almost any issue but this is building up in me for months now and I have no clue what to do. Has anyone else ever had this problem?
Posted by GriffinsMustFly[/QUOTE]

<div>Everyone's given really good advice, but I'll play.</div><div>
</div><div>I had similar issues - my parents couldn't afford to really help me pay for college (although their financial situation has changed since I graduated, so they're helping now with my debt), so I took out $67,000 in loans. I started out as an International Relations major and decided I couldn't do it. I switched to Biology, planned on going to graduate school, was going to be a professor in 7-10 years. It didn't happen. Things change. I'm working as an office manager for a non-profit scientific society now. This isn't my career, but it pays enough to live with a roommate and still have fun, while paying off my student loans (which should be paid off in the next 4 years.) I'll eventually go back to grad school for a different field, and get my masters and move on up. </div><div>
</div><div>Look in to taking some classes at a junior/community college. Try a little bit of everything, even if you KNOW you want to be a writer. You never know where inspiration is going to come from, or what you're going to fall in love with. I never thought that my favorite class was going to involve scraping bugs off of rocks in a disgusting creek underneath the freeway in 30 degree weather, but there you are. Once you've gotten your associates, transfer into a university. My area has a program with one of the CC's where you're guaranteed to be accepted by state colleges (including UVA, William and Mary, and VA Tech) after your AA is finished, and I think it's at the same tuition rate as what you pay at the CC. Perhaps where you are has something similar. It can really help you get into a good school.</div><div>
</div><div>Regarding your BF and your future. Relax. Seriously. You two don't have to make anywhere close to the same amount of money for your relationship to work. Mine makes almost twice what I do because of the field that he's in. Having been in a relationship where I was expected to pay for everything, I've had a difficult time adjusting to him taking charge more financially. That doesn't mean I don't do "my fair share." We don't live together, but I do a lot of the cooking, and we clean house together. You figure out what works for you, and you go with it. That doesn't mean you have to do his laundry because you make less than he does, but you figure out what it does mean, together.</div><div>
</div><div>Don't fixate on a wedding. Focus on where you and your BF are right now, and focus on your own future, and making it brighter. You cannot be successful in a relationship unless you're at least comfortable with who you are. You don't seem comfortable, time to work on that.</div><div>
</div><div>Lastly, you're 20 years old. I learned this, and am still learning this, the hard way - you do not have to have it all figured out. I'm 23 years old and the fact that I hate my job and feel like I'm going to be stuck here still freaks me the hell out. It's okay to feel vulnerable about it, but you have to do something about it, don't just stay stagnant. Your boss is stealing from your check? Time to find a new job and report him to the authorities. </div>

Hummingbird125 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:f5992d7d-eee4-4379-9086-cab7818a82d8">What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]All I ever really wanted to do is grow up to write books and be a barefoot housewife in the kitchen, with a bunch of little kids running around and the typical "church lady" who likes to go around and help everyone out. But in today's economy that isn't possible :( I know I need to get a career in order to help support a family but the problem is that I don't like the sound of anything that I would do for a living, save for write.
Posted by GriffinsMustFly[/QUOTE]

<div>To be honest, I would also like nothing more than to have a couple of kids and stay at home with them all the time. But, that's most likely not going to be possible for me (and for most women). You seem to think you are entitled to a life like that and it's just your bad luck that is preventing you from getting there. I went to an expensive four year college AND had a full ride and I still am working at a job I don't love - sometimes, that's life! You need to stop focusing on the things that are outside of your control and start working on what IS in your control. Just because you might not be able to be financially successful as a writer doesn't mean you have to settle for working as a waitress someplace where you're not paid fairly. Start taking steps to improve your life. </div>

beanbot2002 · April 2013

I'm just going to add that I'm 33 and I'm STILL figuring out what it is that I want to do with my life. That's all to say, don't despair young one! I was fortunate enough to be given an internship in a field I knew nothing about, because someone took a chance on me. She happened to be someone I knew through church and considered family. And now I've been here 10 years. Is it what I dreamed of doing? Nope. But it has been an amazing experience and has provided me with so many learning opportunities. Shoot...when I was 21, my goal was to have my own barn/training/breeding facility and be married with at least 2 children-all by the time I was 26. Guess what? I'm 33, not married, have one kid, and don't have that barn. Have my dreams been crushed, though? No. It's just going to take me a bit longer to get there. I had to 'pay my dues', so to speak.

Now, I'm not saying you have to go about things the way I did. I think the other ladies have given amazing advice and suggestions. I just wanted you to know that it's ok that you don't have it all figured out just yet.

Should you start working out a plan? Yes. Do you need to have it ALL figured out by the time you turn 21? No.

Take a deep breath and remember that the majority of your life is still ahead of you. You'll get there...you just have to be patient.

s-aries8990 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:c8f5f206-0024-461b-bc94-afef63ce85fb">Re: What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just going to add that I'm 33 and I'm STILL figuring out what it is that I want to do with my life. That's all to say, don't despair young one! I was fortunate enough to be given an internship in a field I knew nothing about, because someone took a chance on me. She happened to be someone I knew through church and considered family. And now I've been here 10 years. Is it what I dreamed of doing? Nope. But it has been an amazing experience and has provided me with so many learning opportunities. Shoot...when I was 21, my goal was to have my own barn/training/breeding facility and be married with at least 2 children-all by the time I was 26. Guess what? I'm 33, not married, have one kid, and don't have that barn. Have my dreams been crushed, though? <strong>No. It's just going to take me a bit longer to get there. I had to 'pay my dues', so to speak. </strong>Now, I'm not saying you have to go about things the way I did. I think the other ladies have given amazing advice and suggestions. I just wanted you to know that it's ok that you don't have it all figured out just yet. <strong>Should you start working out a plan? Yes. Do you need to have it ALL figured out by the time you turn 21? No.</strong> Take a deep breath and remember that the majority of your life is still ahead of you. You'll get there...you just have to be patient.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

Bean is wise

beanbot2002 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_what-to-do-with-my-life-lost-and-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:489e1cec-2241-430d-9617-a017f5aadc70Post:e12f52fc-2869-4f51-b2d0-bb558ba11996">Re: What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused : To be honest, I would also like nothing more than to have a couple of kids and stay at home with them all the time. But, that's most likely not going to be possible for me (and for most women). You seem to think you are entitled to a life like that and it's just your bad luck that is preventing you from getting there. I went to an expensive four year college AND had a full ride and I still am working at a job I don't love - sometimes, that's life! <strong>You need to stop focusing on the things that are outside of your control and start working on what IS in your control.</strong> Just because you might not be able to be financially successful as a writer doesn't mean you have to settle for working as a waitress someplace where you're not paid fairly. Start taking steps to improve your life.
Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

Swear to God, BF and I had this exact discussion last night. He's feeling like he's just going around in circles and not really making progress with his job. He's upset with what the job IS right now. I told him to stop focusing on that. He can't change what the job is right now, but he can start looking for jobs that are more in line with what he wants.

OP, that is an example of changing something you can, as opposed to just sitting around being depressed that things aren't the way you wish them to be.

So, for instance, you can't change the fact that you won't qualify for financial aid while being a dependent of your father's. And you can't change what a certain college charges for credits. So, what can you do? You can (as previously suggested) go to CC for a couple years and then transfer to a university, thus reducing the amount you will need for loans. You might not be able to change what your current job is paying you, but you CAN go and apply for different positions in different restaurants or fields.

I saw some saying the other day on FB that was along the lines of "Rejection may hurt, but Regret is much worse." If you don't try things, you'll never know. So try! Try anything and everything!

loves2shop4shoes · April 2013

1. Find a new waitressing job, with a better boss.

2. Start applying to CC. Anyone can afford that.

3. When you get far enough through CC, transfer to a 4 year university. Scholarships are your friends. Also, although I don't advise taking out more than 25k in loans for undergrad, you will never regret spending money on a quality education.

4. Don't compare your situation to your BF's. And don't think less of yourself for being less educated than he is.

5. Also, don't think negative, limiting thoughts like "Journalism is dead." My dad told me growing up, "You can be anything you want to be, as long as you REALLY love what you do. You can be a shoemaker if you want to, and if you REALLY love being a shoemaker, you'll be great at it. And when you're really great at something, there will always be money in it." It's good advice.

6. Take some time and think about what we've all said. Really reflect on it. Then make a plan. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Start the process of finding yourself.

GoldenPenguin · April 2013

I take huge offense to "journalism is dead." No, it's not dead. AT ALL. It's changing - you may not be able to write for a printed newspaper, but there are plenty - PLENTY - of journalism jobs out there. You're just not looking at the big picture because you're in a funk.

kelley198721 · April 2013

OP, if you take a step back and calm down a little, you might realize that your job/career outlook is not as bad as you think.

First of all, as a PP said, journalism is not dead. It is changing. I know this because I used to search for jobs in journalism.

Let me start at the beginning. I went to a community college for two years then I transferred to a state university. (By the way, doing this saved me a ton of money and I owe a lot less money on school loans than my brother, who went to a state university the entire time.) Growing up, I also had dreams of being a novelist. Actually, I still do but I also know myself well enough to know that I will never have the patience or the creativity to actually write out a novel. So I thought, hey I'll teach kids about classic novels. So I majored in English Education.

But my first field experience in the classroom and my first time having to do a unit plan for the entire semester quickly taught me that I would HATE teaching. I am not cut out to be a teacher.

So I switched my major to English. Then I thought "What can I do with this degree?" I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in English and immediately began an internship writing for a magazine. That was a great experience but I realized that I wanted to write about soemthing deeper than "How to Tone Your Body for Bikini Season".

After the internship ended, I started an internship with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service as an external affairs intern. That job was mainly public relations and consisted of writing news about the latest manatee sighting or the fact that this particular species was becoming close to being on the endangered list. I also managed their social media networks as well. I loved this internship and was sad when it ended. There was a hiring freeze so I was unable to get a job with them.

After that, I moved back home with my parents because I was unable to get any kind of job that related to my degree. So I began working at Kroger (a grocery store) and bided my time and doing freelance writing on the side.

One day, I applied for a marketing job with my current company. In the job description, it mentioned that there would be a lot of writing. So I figured it couldn't hurt to apply. And I got hired. BECAUSE of my English degree.

So my point is, people have the misconception that you can't do anything with an English degree but that is simply not true. It's actually a very versatile degree. You can do marketing, public relations, government, etc. There are many options, you just have to look.

But if your heart is set on journalism, keep applying for jobs. Go to www.journalismjobs.com and look there.

Media Bistro is also a great source. www.mediabistro.com

I would also recommend buying the book called "The Investigative Reporter's Handbook: A Guide to Documents, Databases and Techniques" by Brant Houston, Len Bruzzese and Steve Weinberg". This book is FANTASTIC if you want to be a reporter.

But if you get a job at a newspaper, you might have to start out as a copyeditor or proofreader. In that case, buy the Copyediting & Proofreading for Dummies book by Suzanne Gilad. One of my professors in college actually had us buy that book and use it for her class. Very informative and teaches you a lot about editing.

Also, look into getting the "AP Stylebook" book. Or you can get the app for your phone. I used it for my magazine internship and it is a lifesaver. If you want to work in journalism, you will NEED this book. You will have to know how to write in AP style. All newspapers and most publishing houses use this style.

In the meantime, do some freelance on the side. Go to www.elance.com, www.textbroker.com and www.odesk.com and start doing work. You'll also get paid for this, which is a bonus. Granted, you won't make much money at first but if you keep at it and build up a good reputation, you will start earning some pretty decent money.

I'm gonna stop this post here because it is ridiculously long. Anyway, OP, you are only 20. Don't despair yet, you have plenty of time to figure things out. I'm 25 and I only started my first "grown-up" job back in November 2012. And I'm still working there. I'm not too happy with my salary because I work for a very small company. However, my salary does give me enough to live on, to have my own apartment, to pay my bills and to do fun stuff sometimes so I am content for now. In a few years, I will probably look for a higher-paying job and that's only if I don't get a raise.

So you are way too young to be worrying about this stuff now. Go to community college, work and pay your way through school and do freelance writing on the side. You will be fine.

relliotts · April 2013

You want to be a writer? You don't really NEED to go to college. Many writers don't. The way to become a writer is to write. Write constantly. Write every moment you aren't working. When you're done writing, review and edit. Find a trusted friend or a group of other writers to help you with this. Once you (and your trusted sources) feel your stuff is up to snuff, submit. Submit, submit, submit, submit. While you're submitting, do some self promotion work. Start a blog. Post reviews on literary sites. Do things to get name recognition.

You have a really defeatist attitude. You're never going to become a writer with that attitude. You'll give up after the first rejection letters. And there are going to be a LOT of rejection letters.

I'm 36 and I had my first piece published two years ago. It takes a LOT of hard work, blood, sweat and tears. It doesn't happen overnight. It's a very long term commitment. There are very few Stephenie Meyers in the world who get the first piece published. If you don't have the means to focus 100% on writing and not doing anything else while you're pursuing this dream, then you don't do that. You work, just like everyone else. Often in jobs you don't like too much. You do it so you can eat and buy reams of paper and pay the postage to submit manuscripts.

As to college, you can go if you are determined. You don't have to take out $67k in student loans. Starting at community college is fine - you get all your pre-reqs done for about 1/4 the cost, and honestly you'll find you like the classes better. They're smaller and you generally get more one on one attention than in University lecture halls. I went back to college in my mid 20's. I took 12-16 credits each quarter, worked 40+ hours/week in a high stress job, and had two children under the age of 6. I graduated with a 3.89 GPA with a degree in English. I earned two promotions at work during that time. I paid for most of my school myself. This was not all that long ago - I graduated in 2005. But..... None of that schooling has really helped me to become a published writer. Nothing but continuous writing, reviewing, editing and submitting has helped me become a published writer. I went back to school because it was important to ME. What it has helped me do is continuously improve in my professional life and obtain better jobs that have allowed me to continue to take care of myself and my family while pursuing writing for the love of writing.

I am not exceptional. Anyone can do it. Anyone can make it work, anyone can afford it. It all depends on how important it is to you, and how determined you are to make it work.

thejinxchan · April 2013

I can understand what you are feeling; at 20 I started changing my majors in school and 9 years later, I still haven't finished, and put school on hold since I moved overseas to be a flight attendant.

I'm going to comment on the journalism part... I studied it the last year of school before moving 2.5 years ago. But before I actually started school for it, I had been freelancing for a local community publication and also did reviews for a blogsite for two years. I liked writing, but it got me introduced to another part of journalism - broadcasting. I started doing videos and hosting (for a geek website) and it was what I really loved. I started getting away from journalism and enrolled in a course for broadcasting at uni, but it started with traditional journalsm classes.

I got to realizing that journalism isn't quite what I wanted to do, but broadcasting. I stopped writing for years, and then tried to start up again with a travel blog. That lasted for half a year and I haven't found the desire to write again. In fact, it's kind of solidified that I DON'T want to write for a living.

While you try to figure out how to go back to school, why not try to find some local or independent publications you can write for to help you figure out exactly what you want to do? For me, writing for independent publications was fun but I found deadlines to be difficult to deal with. Perhaps trying it out a bit could help you decide better on what you want to do.

And as other people have mentioned, as their current age they still don't know what they want to do. Don't worry that other people are at different stages in their lives even though they are the same age. Life is not a race! Good luck to you.

What To Do With My Life? Lost and Confused

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