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Can I skip it?

girl4182girl4182 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Moms and Maids
As a bridesmaid in my sisters wedding is it wrong of me not to attend the bachelorette party the maid of honour planned if I'm not comfortable with the activity (A pole/lap dance class)? My sister is the bride.
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Re: Can I skip it?

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    No it is not wrong at all.  If you are uncomfortable with a certain activity of the night then you do not have to attend.

    Is there anything else planned for the evening?  You could always go to dinner and then head home while they head to the class.  Or just skip the class and meet up with them afterwards.

    I would talk to your sister about it and let her know that you just aren't comfortable with the event that is planned and that you will make it out for the rest of the night (if that is possible).

    She maybe bummed that you won't be there for everything but if you and her have a good relationship she will understand your discomfort.


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    KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Not wrong at all. Let your sister know why you wont be attending. Maybe you can do something just the two of you later on.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Nope. You should never feel forced to participate in an optional party or activity that you would not enjoy. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    girl4182girl4182 member
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    The bride doesn't know what the plan is for the evening. I asked the maid of honour if I could meet up with them after for the bar and my fiancee could drive instead of them cabbing. She isn't returning my messages though.


    Thanks!!!!
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_can-i-skip-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f0139c28-5460-4769-878d-d9d0f02c82f4Post:5791991f-7a33-4694-baa7-0282871cc380">Re: Can I skip it?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>The bride doesn't know what the plan is for the evening</strong>. I asked the maid of honour if I could meet up with them after for the bar and my fiancee could drive instead of them cabbing. She isn't returning my messages though. Thanks!!!!
    Posted by girl4182[/QUOTE]

    Will your sister be ok with what is planned?

    I believe that the bride should know what the plans are because she should have every right to veto something that would make her uncomfortable or that she may not enjoy.

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    girl4182girl4182 member
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    I'm not sure if she'd be ok with it to be honest. She's usually a pretty private person which makes me say no but when I talked to her fiancee he thought she'd be fine.

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    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
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    Tell the bride what is planned.  I have to say, I'd be appalled if I was expected to dance like a stripper on a pole that other people rubbed themselves on (I'm icked out just typing that).

    Then make up an excuse and bow out.  You have bad cramps, the plague, twisted ankle, whatevs.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    erinlin25erinlin25 member
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    my FSIL is not going to the bachelorette party because she doesn't like to drink.  While the party itself is not a huge booze festk the end of the night is at an awesome bar.  I told her no hurt feelings if she was going to be uncomfortable, but also that she was more than welcome to come to the afternoon events if she liked.  She would rather stay home and study--and I am fine with it.  Some people just do not like to do certain things, so let them be.  Its nothing against the bride or the party planner.

    As for the pole/lap dancing class, I am a pretty modest person and a few years back I was invited to this type of party.  At first I was so emabarrassed and did not want to go...but I went because it was for my friend, and I actually had a lot of fun.  When you are surrounded by girls and especially friends, it makes it a lot less awkward.  It was not vulgar or inappropriate at all and Im glad I went.   I'm sure classes can vary, but maybe look into where they are going and see what the style is for it may not be what you think.  I had the same experience when friends did pleasure parties and what not.  Totally not my thing, but I went and just did not participate as much as the others.  I still had fun, and I was just happy to be celebrating my friend. 

    The MOH should respect your wishes if you are totally uncomfortable, but since its your sister I would try to attempt to be a part of some of the festivities after or before the class so you are involved on some level

     
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