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Engagement Party -- future in laws are all divorced

Missy2498Missy2498 member
10 Comments First Anniversary
in Just Engaged and Proposals
Hey Everyone! 

My mom wants to throw us an engagement party. I am just unsure about my Fiance's family.

His parents are divorced and dont really like each other. They are always complaning about each other and I am not sure how to go about inviting them.   If one side shows up the other might not.

Wow! any advice or expirence with something like this?

Thanks in advance :)
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Re: Engagement Party -- future in laws are all divorced

  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yup, for this and all other wedding events: invite both sides.  (If things are really sensitive, make sure you let both sides know that each side is invited, so that they can choose not to come if necessary.)  But grown-ups are capable of playing nice for a few hours together- and if they're not, it reflects badly on them.  Basically, give them the benefit of the doubt- assume adults are going to act like adults until it is completely proven otherwise.

    As I tell folks, my husband's not-at-all-amicably divorced parents thoroughly dislike each other.  They had dinner together at my parent's house a few days before the wedding.  They sat at the same table at the rehearsal dinner, with their new dates.  They both attended the wedding.  And they behaved perfectly cordially to each other the entire time.  They weren't warm, you know, but they were completely polite and pleasant. This is because they are adults and are capable of acting like adults.  And because they knew that if they didn't, they would make fools of themselves in front of MY entire family, which both of them are far too proud to do.  Don't uderestimate the value of that!  (My ILs are perfectly capable of acting like total [bleeps] to each other if they think no one except their own kids are watching- but in public, they're super-nice.)
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Invite everyone. If they choose not to show b/c they cannot be adults for an hour or so, oh, well. Too bad for them that they miss out on a nice party. 

    Congrats and happy planning!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Lyds85Lyds85 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited May 2013

    i agree, just invite everyone. I'm totally in your shoes... My fiance and my parents are all divorcd. at our engagement party we just invited everyone, everyone except my father and stepmother came. It sucked that my father chose not to come, but we still had a great time. My fiances parents (who were married 25 years and had a very bad divorce) both came to our party and put thier differences aside for the day. Just expect that some people may not come,and try not to let it get to you. Your party will be great :)

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  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    They'll have to suck it up unless you're throwing two weddings.  Might as well start with the engagement party..
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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  • mandibride2bemandibride2be member
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Comments Combo Breaker 5 Love Its
    I'm going through something similar invite BOTH otherwise there will be even MORE drama.
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  • Missy2498Missy2498 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    Okay, So I really want this party, I think its a great way to for my parents to meet everyone, but I dont think his family will agree to this... They got divorced when my Fiance was 3 years old and still havent gotten over it.  

    I am thinking this may not happen..

    A little disapointed,
    Shana
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