Tracking down RSVPs

athomfor · May 2013

Our RSVP date has come and gone so wer've begun tracking down the people who did not respond. How many times should we try to contact them? Twice? Is it okay to say "If we don't hear from you by May X, we assume you're not coming." I don't want to be rude to my guests, but I need a firm number.

Also, I had one guest, who didn't RSVP, respond to my asking if he was coming with "Well I assumed you knew that if I didn't say yes by the RSVP date that I wasn't coming." Is that a thing?

Thanks!

nycrose2013 · May 2013

Ugh. I assume that if you tried twice, to no response, they most likely aren't going to show up. If they do and you can't accommodate them, they will know why.

MoonlightSilver · May 2013

There's nothing wrong with "If we don't hear from you by X...." method, if they're continuously putting you off. As for not RSVPing = no, that's not something I'm familiar with. It's possible that RSVPs could get lost in the mail, so it's always a good idea to return the RSVP, even if it's a no.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

I think two times is plenty and providing a deadline date of them letting you know is not rude at all.

Oh, and it is amazing how many people in this world do not know how to correctly RSVP to something.

KnotIrene · May 2013

That's definitely NOT a thing! Unfortunately that person was inconsiderate or didn't understand how RSVPs work. Hope you have better luck with your others.

mlg78 · May 2013

I think contacting once is sufficient since you've then given them two opportunities to do so the invite and then the followup. The only exception might be if you're just all out shocked that someone wouldn't be joining you... Like a close family member or someone who has said they're going verbally.

lyndausvi · May 2013

No that is not a thing. I had a few RSVP's show up a few days before my wedding. The post mark was 6 weeks earlier. The guests sent out the card on time. USPS didn't deliver them to us on time. If I used that logic I would have not included them only to have them show up.

athomfor · May 2013

Just for the record, we did the online RSVP through the knot (not impressed with that service...) We have 32 people who just haven't responded at the moment. Also, in the first contact I did not include the "if I don't hear from you by X, assume you're not coming" note. Is a follow up 5 days later, with the note, too much?

This RSVP process has by far been the most infuriating and annoying part of wedding planning.

AddieCake · May 2013

I think twice is plenty.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Tracking down RSVPs:
[QUOTE]Just for the record, we did the online RSVP through the knot (not impressed with that service...) We have 32 people who just haven't responded at the moment. Also, in the first contact I did not include the "if I don't hear from you by X, assume you're not coming" note. Is a follow up 5 days later, with the note, too much? This RSVP process has by far been the most infuriating and annoying part of wedding planning.
Posted by athomfor[/QUOTE]

We would have warned you about this before you even went this direction. TK services are extremely glitchy. Anyway that ship has sailed.

I would give them only 3 days to follow up. In your next call let them know the absolute last day to RSVP and if you don't hear from them then they are being marked as a no.

harper0813 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Tracking down RSVPs:
[QUOTE]I think two times is plenty and providing a deadline date of them letting you know is not rude at all. Oh, and it is amazing how many people in this world do not know how to correctly RSVP to something.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Especially when wedding invites make it so easy for you. You check a box, write your name, and stick it in your mailbox. No stamp required.

OP, twice is plenty, and I think it's fine to say, "We need to give our number to the caterers by [date], so I hope to hear from you before then or we will miss you at the wedding."

athomfor · May 2013

In Response to Re: Tracking down RSVPs:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tracking down RSVPs : We would have warned you about this before you even went this direction. TK services are extremely glitchy. Anyway that ship has sailed. I would give them only 3 days to follow up. In your next call let them know the absolute last day to RSVP and if you don't hear from them then they are being marked as a no.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Only reason I went with the knot is our post office locally is amazingly bad with mail. I've had 5 or 6 peices of mail lost in the past year. (Real mail, payments to vendors etc) That and my soon to be SIL used it and didn't have touble.

Either way I like the 3 day "rule". I'll contact them all again tomorrow and tell them they have until Monday or it's a no. Thanks!

phira_22857389 · May 2013

Twice sounds fine. I might be a little more polite with wording: instead of, "If we don't hear from you, we will assume you're not coming," something along the lines of what zoberg suggested would work.

I admit ... that I did not officially RSVP to my friend's wedding. She already knew I wasn't coming (I was a bridesmaid and had to back out because I couldn't afford to travel to the wedding), and the RVSP method was to call her mother (no email or snail mail options).

That being said, I wouldn't have been offended or irritated if my friend had called me just to confirm that I still couldn't make it. You need a headcount for catering and seating! 'Nuff said.

Tracking down RSVPs

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