Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.

Blingerz · May 2013

So we're headed to Eastern Europe for our vacation. We set up a honeyfund. People can buy us portions of our tickets, hotels, entertainment, etc.

My question is this:

Instead of sending a thank you card to thank people for their monetary gift, would it be tacky to send a thank you post card?

Say for example, an aunt bought a portion of our train ride to Croatia. So I send her a post card from Croatia saying something this: "thank you for your wedding gift. Because of you, we're having an awesome time in Croatia. See you soon!"

Is this a rude form of thanking someone? It would be a considerably time before they get the thanks card because we're getting married beginning of June and taking the trip in August.

vsgal · May 2013

You are already being rude by asking for money for your honeymoon. Don't perpetuate that rudeness by sending a postcard months and months later.

Blingerz · May 2013

Thank you. I think I might perpetuate rudeness by saying "thank you." Everyone knows words like "please" and "thank you" are completely rude. How dare I be courteous.

bunni727 · May 2013

In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]Thank you. I think I might perpetuate rudeness by saying "thank you." Everyone knows words like "please" and "thank you" are completely rude. How dare I be courteous.
Posted by Blingerz[/QUOTE]

The thing that makes sending postcard thank-yous from your honeymoon rude is the timeliness (or lack thereof) of their sending.

Thank you cards should really go out within two weeks of receiving a gift. That's usually extended for brides who go on their honeymoon immediately, but yours is postponed so you don't have any reason for that extra time. The longer you take to send them, the less thankful you will appear to be.

The postcard idea is cute, just not the best.

Honeymoon registries are against etiquette, because it amounts to asking for cash. If you are set on one anyway, please make sure the one you have chosen doesn't take out a fee. No one should have to pay to give you money.

vsgal · May 2013

In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]Thank you. I think I might perpetuate rudeness by saying "thank you." Everyone knows words like "please" and "thank you" are completely rude. How dare I be courteous.
Posted by Blingerz[/QUOTE]

My dear, my point is that asking for money is any form is tacky and rude. You pay for you own vacation. If you insist on being rude to your guests, do not make it worse by waiting months to send them an impersonal thank you on a postcard that spend 2 seconds writing on the fly. Sit down and write them a proper thank you note immediately.

anssett · May 2013

I like the idea. I think it actually makes the thank you personal, instead of timely, but generic.

Blingerz · May 2013

In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question. : The thing that makes sending postcard thank-yous from your honeymoon rude is the timeliness (or lack thereof) of their sending. Thank you cards should really go out within two weeks of receiving a gift. That's usually extended for brides who go on their honeymoon immediately, but yours is postponed so you don't have any reason for that extra time. The longer you take to send them, the less thankful you will appear to be. The postcard idea is cute, just not the best. Honeymoon registries are against etiquette, because it amounts to asking for cash. If you are set on one anyway, please make sure the one you have chosen doesn't take out a fee. No one should have to pay to give you money.
Posted by bunni727[/QUOTE]

Thank you.

freebread03 · May 2013

Croatia is not in Serbia.

Blingerz · May 2013

I'm aware sweetness. We're going to eight countries in Eastern Europe. Croatia and Serbia are two of those.

freebread03 · May 2013

Well your post said "going to Serbia for our HM" so I assumed that you were going to Serbia. FWIW, if I didn't receive a thank you for my "donation" to your HM until over 2 months after your wedding (after you'd cashed and spent my check), I would certainly consider it rude (but then again, I'd also be offended by your donation request. I mean honeymoon donation fund.

ETA: Mail service will likely be VERY slow from many of the places you're going. Do you know where you can buy stamps in remote Serbian locations? Do you know how much to use to send a post card back to the US (or wherever your donors live?) You may want to reconsider, if not for the many other reasons stated by PPs.

dazyabbey · May 2013

I don't think it would be an issue. I think it would be really nice and I know if I had done something like that my family would have loved it. We ended up waiting and ordering our thank you cards with one of our wedding pictures on them so we sent them out probably at about the 10 week mark. A little late but better then nothing.
I like the idea though and I think your friends and family would as well.

MissMolly · May 2013

This!

In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]I don't like honeymoon registries. If I'm a guest at a wedding and the couple has only this, I typically give only fifteen dollars, or the cost of a round of drinks on me. Regardless, you should send thank you notes immediately after the receipt of any gift. You have such a long lag between your wedding and honeymoon, you should have plenty of time to get them out before you go. It would be nice if you sent an additional note in the form of a postcard but it should supplement and not serve as your thank you note. Also, are you going to want to spend all that time writing, it takes time to make them meaningful you know, and then finding a post office from which to mail them, on your honeymoon? That's a lot of effort to be concerned about executing well during a vacation.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

Blingerz · May 2013

Very true. Maybe I can learn enough Serbian or Croatian to ask for a post office. But them again, I have all these other languages jammed in my head. Seems like a lot of work.

MissMolly · May 2013

Wow, you're a testy little gal, aren't you?!

In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]I'm aware sweetness. We're going to eight countries in Eastern Europe. Croatia and Serbia are two of those.
Posted by Blingerz[/QUOTE]

monkeysip · May 2013

In Response to Re: Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]Well your post said "going to Serbia for our HM" so I assumed that you were going to Serbia. FWIW, if I didn't receive a thank you for my "donation" to your HM until over 2 months after your wedding (after you'd cashed and spent my check), I would certainly consider it rude (but then again, I'd also be offended by your donation request. I mean honeymoon donation fund. ETA: Mail service will likely be VERY slow from many of the places you're going. Do you know where you can buy stamps in remote Serbian locations? Do you know how much to use to send a post card back to the US (or wherever your donors live?) You may want to reconsider, if not for the many other reasons stated by PPs.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]

I was thinking this too. I have no idea about Croatia or Serbia, but it took my family 2 weeks at least to get my postcard from Italy.

It will be super delayed.

And ditto pps on the honeyfund.

I do think the idea of sending a nice postcard to someone on the honeymoon is great though. That might be nice for anyone who bought you something REALLY special. Logistically, it would be very difficult to send a bunch out.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

In Response to Re:Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.:
[QUOTE]Very true. Maybe I can learn enough Serbian or Croatian to ask for a post office. But them again, I have all these other languages jammed in my head. Seems like a lot of work.
Posted by Blingerz[/QUOTE]

Why all the sarcasm and rudeness? The other posters were trying to answer your questions. If you don't like their opinions, you can leave.

jyang721 · June 2013

I'm surprised by the negative opinions regarding honeymoon registries. As a guest, I have no problem paying for something I know the couple wants rather than an unnecessary household item they will return anyway. A quick Google search showed that in this day and age, honeymoon registries are not only accepted, but wildly growing in popularity as couples marry later and practicality supersedes tradition. Also, contrary to what some posters have written, according to all wedding etiquette sites, you have 3 months to send out thank you cards. Lastly, I think the postcard idea is really cute. In fact, I saw some places actually offer that as part of their service.

xxstardust · June 2013

Jyang, are you okay with the fact that you are giving a "romantic dinner on the beach", for instance, for $100, and the couple is receiving a check for $93 (because the honeymoon registry took away $7 for their service fee)? That's how they work and turn a profit and why it's rude. You're setting up a misleading service for your guests (who want to give YOU 100 bucks, not 93!).

Popularity =/= manners and etiquette.

Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.

Re: Going to Serbia for our HM. Have big question.

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