Getting married again, to the same guy!

asosakeifer · January 2012

I have been married for 8 years now. We couldn't get married on a church because my husband was divorced, but a couple of years ago he decided to go through the annulment. We want to get married in a church and eventhough we don't want a big event we I don't want it to lack the importance it deserves I am at a lost when it comes to the right etiquette on how to approach the invitations, guest list, should I wear the same dress? Yes it fits!...etc. Can you shed some light on this? or send me on the right direction? Thanks

right1thistime · January 2012

What I am hearing in your post is that you are having a religious ceremony to solemnize your wedding vows. Is that correct?
My suggestion is to wear whatever makes you happy, and have the accessories (flowers, music, etc) that you wish to have.
I would suggest that you have only those who truly understand how this is important to you as invited guests, if you wish to invite guests. If you are doing it as part of a routine church service or Mass, then the congregation would be present.
If you intend to have a party to celebrate, I would keep it very very small and simple, perhaps a hosted dinner at a restaurant. No dancing, toasting (well maybe one), no elaborate cake, etc. Or a cake & punch party in the church hall for the congregation, if you are going that route.

No showers, no registry, no wedding invitations, no attendants (you may need witnesses). No photography.

I think this is an appropriate reason to have a vow renewal. ~Donna

asosakeifer · January 2012

Is not a vow renewal. We are getting married in a church for the first time. My husband's first marriage was anulled recently and want to make the marriange official to the church. We actually got married in Aruba in a very small ceremony so the majority of our friends couldn't come.

right1thistime · January 2012

blush64 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_getting-married-again-same-guy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:559b7c1b-3eb7-44f1-9593-7bc0e4008ebaPost:0fa38a45-fdde-49d9-8a37-d2c8dd99d23e">Re: Getting married again, to the same guy!</a>:
[QUOTE]Is not a vow renewal. We are getting married in a church for the first time. My husband's first marriage was anulled recently and want to make the marriange official to the church. We actually got married in Aruba in a very small ceremony so the majority of our friends couldn't come.
Posted by asosakeifer[/QUOTE]

I don't know what church it is. If you are legally married and it's the Catholic church where you would like the ceremony, they do not marry you again. It's a different process altogether.

If it's another religion they may have some other rules.

I guess it varies from person to person but I think it does sound like a vow renewal to me.

coopsbaby · January 2012

Well, go ahead and call it what you want, but you are already married. Same rules apply. It's a lovely reason for a vow renewal, and I hope you have a great day!

awayagain · January 2012

Here's some light for you - you're not getting married again to the same guy. You've been married to the same guy for eight years. As Coop said, it's a lovely reason for a vow renewal or, as Donna said, solemnizing your vows in a religious ceremony - but it's NOT a wedding.

debbiem56 · January 2012

You may want to check in on the Catholic board. I think what you are talking about is a convalidation ceremony. You are already legally married but are now seeking the church blessing.

asosakeifer · January 2012

Thank you all!! This helps A LOT!!!! That's it! Convalidation ceremony!

JCWhitey · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_getting-married-again-same-guy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:559b7c1b-3eb7-44f1-9593-7bc0e4008ebaPost:9d99c105-308f-4a62-b19d-c6833e6d5ac4">Re: Getting married again, to the same guy!</a>:
[QUOTE]How about doing it on your anniversary? Renew your vows, and you can have a reception. The things to skip are a registry, shower and bachelorette party, since you are already married.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>I do think this ceremony is important and more important than a vow renewal, but it has the same basic etiquette. Smaller guest list, maybe a nice dinner at a restaurant as a reception, no registering, etc. </div><div>
</div><div>My travel agent actually found out a few years ago that the minister for her original wedding (20 years before) had never filed their marriage license. So for 20 years they THOUGHT they were married but weren't, so they opted to do a small ceremony in Jamaica. Even though this was their first marriage, officially, it wasn't their first ceremony so the same rules for a vow renewal applied. I think anytime you've already had a ceremony it's important to treat it similar to that of a vow renewal.</div>

JJWC3387 · January 2012

Congrats on your ceremony. I'm kinda in the same boat. Hubby and I were married by JOP about 4 years ago. No family was with us. On our first anniversary, we buried our daughter, on our second....lets just say we were standing in front of a judge for not-so-good reasons, our 3rd anniversary, divorce papers were served.....After rebounding from all of that, we are stronger than before and want to share our exchange of commitment with family. Our ceremony will be officiated by a minister, but we are not holding it inside a physical church. I think any reason to celebrate and share your unity is a reason to be excited, so do as you wish.

Getting married again, to the same guy!

Re: Getting married again, to the same guy!

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