How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?

KLGKJN2013 · May 2013

I have a co-worker who thinks it is ok to wear white to people's weddings. I know that some of the rules have relaxed over the years and it is now considered okay to wear some white to a wedding, but this outfit isn't "some" white. Her go-to outfit is completely white: shoes, skirt, shirt, jacket, and the embroidery on the jacket is white as well! I'm a bit traditional and I really don't want her to wear that to my wedding this summer. Is there any way that I can (tactfully) get this across to her without being a witch about it? I'm inviting everyone I work with, so leaving her out isnt really an option....

Thanks!

4urlove · May 2013

I can understand that you don't want her to wear white since your the bride and all, but I agree with CMGr! Just ignore her on the day and everyone will pay more attention to you that day than anyone else attending. If it really bugs you in pictures, basic photo editing programs anymore will let you change the color of her clothes! That'll make for a good laugh later on!

[Deleted User] · May 2013

Be the graceful bride, thank her for coming and move on. I promise you, the other guests will be sure to let her know what she's wearing is inappropriate.

jessicabessica · May 2013

Don't worry about it. Honestly, she just sounds weird, not like she is flaunting tradition or anything like that.

vk2204 · May 2013

Unless someone is wearing a gorilla costume at your wedding, I don't think you'll notice what your guests have on. My MIL had on a creamish dress and she looked amazing. No one thought she was the bride.

If you are that worried about it, maybe suggest going shopping together for a new outfit?

lyndausvi · May 2013

You know it's her go-to outfit, just let it go or do not invite her. Someone like that is not going to change her outfit for you.

rel1988 · May 2013

Are you really going to notice what color guests are wearing?? Everyone is there to see YOU and your FI. Just ignore her.

winelover123 · May 2013

That's odd. Just let it go - other guests will snicker, but not at you. No one will mistake her for the bride either

AJuliaNJ · May 2013

In Response to Re: How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?:
[QUOTE]Unless someone is wearing a gorilla costume at your wedding, I don't think you'll notice what your guests have on. My MIL had on a creamish dress and she looked amazing. No one thought she was the bride. If you are that worried about it, maybe suggest going shopping together for a new outfit?
Posted by vk2204[/QUOTE]

I would love if someone wore a gorilla costume to my wedding. Hilarious!

Honestly, her outfit sounds awful and as a guest, I'd notice how ugly it is (white jacket, white skirt, white shirt, white SHOES????) more than anything else.

Nobody will mistake her for the bride in that get-up. I'd just ignore it. Maybe she is the type of person that just likes to be anti to create drama so I wouldn't give in to that. I'm sure on your wedding day, you won't even have to pretend to ignore her. You'll be so busy with other thigns.

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Eh, do you really care that much about her that you want to make yourself into the bad guy to save her from embarrassing herself? It doesn't sound like you're really that close.

Let people narrow-eye her at the wedding, no skin off your nose.

daveANDkristen · May 2013

In Response to How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?:
[QUOTE]I have a co-worker who thinks it is ok to wear white to people's weddings. I know that some of the rules have relaxed over the years and it is now considered okay to wear some white to a wedding, but this outfit isn't "some" white. Her go-to outfit is completely white: shoes, skirt, shirt, jacket, and the embroidery on the jacket is white as well! I'm a bit traditional and I really don't want her to wear that to my wedding this summer. Is there any way that I can (tactfully) get this across to her without being a witch about it? I'm inviting everyone I work with, so leaving her out isnt really an option.... Thanks!
Posted by KLGKJN2013[/QUOTE]

Not really. She will look like a fool if she wears that, it won't reflect on you.

AddieCake · May 2013

Who cares what she wears? It changes nothing about your wedding day. I am now ranking this topic right up there with my hatred of people who don't invite ALL SOs, and it makes me want shots of cake. Or vodka. Or cake vodka.

AJuliaNJ · May 2013

In Response to Re: How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?:
[QUOTE]Who cares what she wears? It changes nothing about your wedding day. I am now ranking this topic right up there with my hatred of people who don't invite ALL SOs, and it makes me want shots of cake. Or vodka. Or cake vodka.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Or how about wedding cake vodka?

http://pearlweddingcake.com/

renegade gaucho · May 2013

In Response to Re: How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?:
[QUOTE]Who cares what she wears? It changes nothing about your wedding day. I am now ranking this topic right up there with my hatred of people who don't invite ALL SOs, and it makes me want shots of cake. Or vodka. Or cake vodka.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

This is where I am. It's just clothing.

misssunshine17 · May 2013

If you told me not to wear white, I would specifically because I'm a B like that. Let adults dress themselves.

Jessa617 · May 2013

Honestly, nobody will notice. One of my friends wore white to my wedding and NOBODY noticed (neither did I). Trust me, nobody is going to be looking at your guests, the attention will all be on you and your groom. There's no such thing as being upstaged at a wedding.

There is no way to tell her nicely what not to wear. Just let it go.

Maggie0829 · May 2013

You don't. You just spill your cranberry and vodka drink all down the front of them when you are stopping by to say hi.

But seriously. What people wear will not affect your wedding day. You probably won't even notice what outfits your guests have on. And if you do that outfit better be crazy out there so much so that you can't help but notice it or you are focusing on the wrong things that day.

rel1988 · May 2013

In Response to Re: How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?:
[QUOTE]If you told me not to wear white, I would specifically because I'm a B like that. Let adults dress themselves.
Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]

ha love it!! I'm with Addie. They have birthday cake shots I'm sure we can have some wedding cake shots.

MsYeck · May 2013

If you I invited several co-workers you could always talk to one of them (when she is close enough to overhear) about a wedding you went to this last weekend and how some lady was trashy enough to wear white to somebodies wedding. Maybe she will get the hint.

LiLe422 · May 2013

In Response to Re:How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?:[QUOTE]If you I invited several coworkers you could always talk to one of them when she is close enough to overhear about a wedding you went to this last weekend and how some lady was trashy enough to wear white to somebodies wedding. Maybe she will get the hint. Posted by MsYeck[/QUOTE] Passive aggressive much? Op, this is such a non issue. Who cares what she wears. If she shows up decked out in white, she will look silly, not you.

swimmy1988 · May 2013

Her outfit sounds silly, but if she wants to make a fool of herself by wearing it, that's her choice.
Hopefully you'll be in some kind of love cloud at your wedding that you won't even notice.

tlc35 · May 2013

Mmm, wedding cake vodka Addie, sounds delish!

dietz49 · May 2013

I understand how you feel. Trying not to be a bridezilla can be more stress for you. If you are comfortable enough just be straight forward. Tell her you are more traditional and it would mean a lot to you if she didn't wear white. I think it's unfortunate that as brides we are expected to just take everything with grace. I know from experience, that letting too many things go leads to people taking advantage of you. Now I'm not saying that you should knit pick every little thing, but don't be afraid to put your foot down for things that are really going to bother you. You pay a lot of money for your big day and people should want to make it so you have as little stress as possible.

allychase · May 2013

I just got married last Friday and like 4 guests wore all white. I saw them and didn't care. Know why? Cause I was marrying the love of my life and I didn't give a siht what anyone was wearing

Yessieyo35 · May 2013

Why can't you just tell her. She's your coworker. She's at your wedding. So that means she's your friend. So just tell her. You're not being rude or demanding, you're saving her embarrassment.

How to ask a guest to NOT wear white?

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