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Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!

I no longer need advice or opinions on this matter, thank you.

Re: Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I came to the conclusion that we don't want to have people watching us as we make our commitments to each other. we are very private people and have a few friends. I have many more than he does however and he doesn't want groomsmen. I have a few close friends I do want to honor and be a part of my wedding. But if we are having a private ceremony with the bare minimum of people (parents, siblings) am I allowed to have a bridal party if they can only go to the reception? I know bridesmaids do a lot more than just walk down the isle before you and I want to have those experiences. But I don't know how I would ask someone to be a bridesmaid but not invite them to the ceremony. our reception will consist of mostly family as well with a max of 70 people attending. I'm really confused and I don't know how to make this work. please help and no negative commentary please. Thank you
    Posted by rashaa13[/QUOTE]
    How are they a bridal party if they just go to the reception? Bridesmaids walk down an aisle, hold flowers or whatever, and stand beside you while you say your vows. What other things do you think they do/what experiences are you talking about? Parties?  Because they do not have to host those for you, either. If you don't want them there for the ceremony, what exactly do you want them to do at the reception? 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I came to the conclusion that we don't want to have people watching us as we make our commitments to each other. we are very private people and have a few friends. I have many more than he does however and he doesn't want groomsmen. I have a few close friends I do want to honor and be a part of my wedding. But if we are having a private ceremony with the bare minimum of people (parents, siblings) am I allowed to have a bridal party if they can only go to the reception? I know bridesmaids do a lot more than just walk down the isle before you and I want to have those experiences. But I don't know how I would ask someone to be a bridesmaid but not invite them to the ceremony. our reception will consist of mostly family as well with a max of 70 people attending. I'm really confused and I don't know how to make this work. please help and no negative commentary please. Thank you
    Posted by rashaa13[/QUOTE]

    You don't get to tell people how to reply, actually. If you are looking for advice, you're going to get opinions, solicited or not. 

    Actually, all bridesmaids do it walk down the aisle before you. They are only required to stand up with you and wear the dress you picked. You can have them there if you want. It's perfectly acceptable to have a immediate-family-only ceremony and have a larger reception, but having bridesmaids at your reception only doesn't make sense and is pointless. Sorry, but even if you are my BFF I'm not buying a dress and/or shoes for you just so I match at your reception. That's not the point, and it's not an honor. If you want them at your ceremony, have them. But if they are only coming to your reception, they are just guests. Make sense?

    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    IMO, I feel that if you want a private ceremony with only immediate family and their SO's then you have to forgo the wedding party.  But then again, I also think that having a private ceremony but then a big reception later that day is kind of weird and pointless.

    Anyway, a BMs and GMs job is to stand up with you and your FI during your ceremony.  They really have no other role to play.  Once the ceremony and pictures are done they are pretty much just like any other guest.

  • Lordy.. Is it Friday yet?
    my blog - for the love of ein
    'Next time, just fart.' - BriSox81
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  • Why do I get the feeling she just wants someone to plan a banging Bach party?
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • In Response to Re: Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!:
    [QUOTE]Why do I get the feeling she just wants someone to plan a banging Bach party?
    Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

    Yep. I had the same thought.
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    OP - You shouldn't delete because you didn't get the answers you want.  Also, you were quoted, so it makes you look even worse.

    What exactly is the point of having bridesmaids if they're not going to stand next to you at the ceremony?  It really makes no sense unless, as PPs mentioned, you're just hoping to get a shower and/or bachelorette party out of them.  Klassy.
  • In Response to Re: Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP! : If this is the whole point, who is to say that one of her many friends wont throw her a bach party knowing that the ceremony is for immediate family only? But super rude to have a bridal party come to the reception only.
    Posted by Ctexasgurl26[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.  A close friend of mine had a family-only wedding AND reception, but we girls made an already planned trip to NYC (to visit another girlfriend) a surprise bachelorette party weekend for her. 
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  • I am wondering if the OP felt she could ONLY have the immediate family and no bridal party if she had a private reception.  By reading on here it's rude to have certain people at your reception but not ceremony unless it's a private affair.  My guess was she felt it wouldn't be a private affair if she had bridesmaids too thus making it rude?  That's the best I can get out this?
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re: Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can I have a bridal party and have a private ceremony at the same time? HELP! : If this is the whole point, who is to say that one of her many friends wont throw her a bach party knowing that the ceremony is for immediate family only? But super rude to have a bridal party come to the reception only.
    Posted by Ctexasgurl26[/QUOTE]

    Manners would say that.  It is incredibly rude to invite people to pre-wedding parties when they aren't invited to the actual wedding.  
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