Worst Weddings

emeejeeayen · April 2013

Let's hear the nightmare weddings you've attended because I'm bored, and FI is studying for law school finals so he won't play with me

Gammaderson · April 2013

In Response to Re: Worst Weddings:
[QUOTE]I've seen so many weddings - as a church organist! I could write a book! Worst one was a wedding where they tried to do too much with too little money. Nine bridesmaids, who couldn't all fit in the front of the church. These weren't relatives. Just friends from high school. MOB sewed all the dresses. Ring bearer was too young. He threw a tantrum. Groom was high. He tried to grab me and kiss me. He shouted, "You're beautiful!" I'm amazed the pastor went through with it. Bride was very pregnant, and her dress didn't fit. I felt so sorry for her! Especially after seeing the condition her groom was in! The homegrown flowers had wilted in the heat, and no one thought to put them in water. The ceremony was delayed 45 minutes because the FOB was missing in action. All the groomsmen got in their cars and searched the bars until they found him. He was too drunk to walk the bride down the aisle, so her brother substituted. FOB was vomiting outside the church. The MOB never showed up. She was too busy cooking the food for the huge reception. At the reception, one of the hotplates caught the table on fire, and the fire department had to be called. It was a disaster all around. They forgot to pay me. The pastor called them a week later to remind them that they still owed money. I love small, simple weddings!
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

That is unbelievable! Please continue to post. I love a good retelling of experiences

SJM7538 · April 2013

I've been to a lot of weddings... And each has has their own hiccups. My cousins wedding in 2007... I was a bm. The guy she paired me up with had a super jealous girlfriend. And of course my cousin did a wp dance. The guy was drunk by the time we did the wp party dance and grabbed my ass. His girlfriend stormed onto the dance floor screaming at me and throwing a fit. My sisters wedding... Went smooth for the most part except when the fire alarm went off at the hotel and my sister was still getting her hair and makeup done so I was running around the Hotel with her dress in my arms. And her bm who wouldn't shut up about her wedding. She was getting married the following year and the entire days was " well at my wedding were gonna do this and yada yada yada." And my other cousin who got married at 6pm on a Friday in the middle of winter I'm Hartford. Fianc and I parked at they venue then got a call from my uncle saying the ceremony was actually at the hotel and people were being shuttled to the reception after. So we walked 7 blocks to the hotel in the Rain and snow. When we got there my uncle goes "oh I was wrong, the ceremony is actually at the other place." I was soaked and my heels were bleeding from being in heels. I started crying. My mom took my Into the bathroom and cleaned me up. We went to the ceremony, which started 30 minutes late and has the most awful Bagpipe player sounded like when Ross tried to play the bagpipe for Monica and chandlers wedding in friends. We left right after dinner. Oh and when I got the invite my fianc wasn't on it. I had to call my aunt to let her know and she said it was an oversight.

artbyallie · April 2013

In Response to Re: Worst Weddings:
[QUOTE]Wow! Talk about Narcissistic Personality Disorder! My own MIL just cried and told people that her son was making the worst mistake of his life!
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

My maternal grandmother says her mom was begging her not to go through with it until the moment she walked down the aisle. True, she was fresh out of high school at the time, but several of her classmates were already married and some were pregnant. Plus, she got married on a weekday with no guests and no wedding gown and one night for a honeymoon.

I don't have good stories like the others on here, but I wish my SIL had rethought having her wedding outdoors in March. The weather here in spring is totally unpredictable. The rehearsal day was 70ish degrees. The following day, for the ceremony? 50s. The bridesmaids were in sundresses and the groomsmen in tuxes for an afternoon wedding (I know CMGr is clutching her pearls--even my dad said it was tacky!)

Last August, we attended a dear friend's wedding, and while I love her, I also kind of judged her for the couple hours' gap between ceremony and reception. And her taste level in inviting certain guests. My evil twin was present (long story), though I was able to avoid her. But we spent the gap (H and I) sitting with H's ex-girlfriend and her husband, H's ex-roommate. Now, he had attended their wedding, without me, but it was still kind of awkward.

wittykitty14 · April 2013

I've been to nearly a dozen weddings, but most of them weren't bad at all. A couple things here and there (potluck, groom's cell phone going off when bride is saying her vows, stuff like that).

FI went to one when he was in high school, and it was absolutely horrible. I love hearing his family talk about it. Redneck Wedding. Full-on redneck. Bride and Groom had been drinking some before the ceremony, and it was obvious. The reception is what they always talk about though. For decorations? CARPET. There was a carpet hanging from every single piece of wall. None of them matched, and they specifically did this for their wedding. I don't get it. Everyone dressed trashy. My FI and his dad/brothers felt so out of place because they were the only ones wearing ties. B and G enter the reception, TOTALLY wasted, and later were throwing up. Super classy. They had a buffet dinner, which apparently meant that everyone was going to stick their hands in the food and grab what they wanted. Even soupy things-elbows into the food. I think there was some sorts of a food fight, I forget what they told me. They were so grossed out that they left without eating and stopped at McDonalds for dinner, because it was cleaner, they say. It's amusing to hear them tell the story, but it sounds absolutely awful.

arrippa · April 2013

I went to an OOT wedding for my cousin that was on a boat that would cruise around the harbor. Around and around, seeing the same things for five hours. It was a very windy day on the boat so napkins and dresses kept flying around. The food was not edible and they had a cash bar that even charged for water. No one danced and because it was so windy, everyone had to crowd downstairs in an area not designed to hold that many people. There were not enough seats out of the wind. By the time the boat docked, we were starving because we couldn't eat the food. I had to man the guest book outside. There are many pictures of me barely holding my dress down as I try to get people to sign the book.

QueerFemme · April 2013

the worst one was probably the one where I didn't make it to the reception. It was a full catholic mass. For a non-catholic and a non-church person, the mass was really tiring. Then, there was a 3.5 hour gap before the reception. I wasn't local the the area and didn't know where anything was (this was long before GPS and internet on phones) and I was super broke back then, so the idea of going to dinner or going shopping or whatever was out.

It was also about 105 degrees outside. I went and sat in my car for about an hour and then finally said screw it and went home.

Moral of the story... gaps are rude.

CrazyCatLady3 · April 2013

In Response to Re: Worst Weddings:
[QUOTE]So, I've only been to a handful of weddings in my life and really only one as an adult until Saturday night's. I thought they were all tolerable if not fun. Decent food (edible but not spectacular), decent music, lots of dancing, etc. Saturday nights? Whoooaaa now I understand why people dread weddings. Wow. Where to begin? First, FI was asked to be a groomsman by his cousin who he sees maybe once a year and has never had a real conversation with. In the moment he agreed because he felt obligated, but he found out later the wedding date was right before his first final of that semester. Panic. Cousin had asked FI's Brother 3 to also be a groomsman, but he got out of it by enlisting in the army. Once Brother 3 dropped out, cousin replaced him with FI's Brother 2 and Brother 1. Brother 1 is 15-years-old. Good, solid. I should have known what I was getting into when we received an invitation that said "black tie preferred" and I found out all the female relatives were instructed to "dress like the ocean," but I underestimated. We show up two hours early to this wedding to "take pictures" and get the tuxedos that had been rented for FI and his two brothers. First, the venue is right on the beach in Long Island, but there are no windows - odd. Second, the tuxedo vest was bright neon aquamarine with a striped bowtie to match. Third, FI told Cousin's dad (Uncle) his measurements and insisted he was a size 13 shoe and a size 38 waist; Uncle took it upon himself to insist FI is a 36 waist, but he also gave FI the left shoe in a size 13.5 and the right shoe in a 10.5. All I could do was laugh. Cousin only had one friend as best man, the other groomsman was Cousin's sister's fiance. BUT WAIT! Cousin's sister's fiance told the cameraman he was best man, and from then on out everyone just pretended that was true. Moving on, FI and his brothers kept getting shuttled from beach to inside to upstairs to downstairs to "take photos" except they literally never took any photos of FI and his brothers. They just had to stand nearby where the photos were being taken. If you can't already guess, Cousin's bride had quite a few friends as bridesmaids. During this time period, a number of relatives come up to me and say, "Ohhhhh I'm so excited for your wedding this summer! I am doing my best to attend! I'm saving my pennies! I'm trying so hard, honey, I really am!" To which I mostly responded with nods and smiles. But what I found out later is that they would accost FMIL afterward and say things like, "I heard Sally and Bobby made reservations at the hotel in CA already - who's paying for that??" To which FMIL would say, "Uh, Sally and Bobby are?" It was clear they were trying to pressure FMIL and FFIL to pay for the whole family to travel to CA since FFIL is wealthy, but that's ridiculous. Finally it's ceremony time. Despite the carpet, walls and chairs being burgundy, the entire space is setup aquamarine including a chuppah with - I kid you not - seashells and starfish embedded in the flowers. Let me remind you that we're literally on a beach inside a room with zero windows. As each couple walks down the aisle, they're told to slow down by the photog who stands a foot in front of them and asks them to pose after each step. The entire ceremony was like that. Grab the cup - pose - drink - pose - etc. It was just a staged photo op. But I can get over all that. Once cocktail hour arrived, however, that's when things started to really go downhill. There were about 25 different food stations and none of them had anything remotely resembling edible food. It was just cold, slimy meh. There were two bartenders for 200 guests, so getting a drink was nearly impossible. It was white glove service, but the white gloves were starting to look like mesh. And yes, starfish and seashells everywhere. Then it's time for us to enter the ballroom for dinner. BUT SURPRISE it's actually first dance time. By which I mean it's photo op time because they never actually danced, they just posed for the camera as if they were dancing. They had a seven piece band and right from the get-go they were off key, too loud and every 5 minutes we got to enjoy the loud screeching of feedback. We were told to sit down at our tables for salad, but the salad tasted like it had been drenched in reduce cherry cola with a bunch of canned fruits and veggies tossed in. That was cool. Better than that? They had ordered aquamarine uplighting so we all looked sickly and our food looked GREY. We ordered our entrees and then speeches began. The parents rattled off their son's and daughter's accomplishments including where they attended undergrad and their internships, etc. Then we were told to dance again. BUT WAIT! It's entree time. But not for me. They served me 45 minutes after everyone else for literally no reason. And it was really gross when it came so I felt bad so many people had complained on my behalf. FI got prime rib and the uplighting made it look like brains. Then it was time to dance BUT WAIT it's actually time for father/daughter and mother/son dances. Cousin's mom asked her sister to sing for theirs. She's an opera singer. It didn't go well. Most people had to look away to avoid laughing or cringing. After that it was time to wait in the dessert line. We waited for 25 minutes during which Cousin comes up to FI and his brothers and says, "Oh, I got you guys gifts, they're in coat check, you should pick them up on your way out," and leaves. Weird. When we got up to the dessert table, the server guy was literaly taking handfuls of cake from between the dowels and putting them on plates. YUM! (But not because it was gross.) Finally we want to leave so desperately we try to rally the troops. Some drunk older women pull FI onto the dance floor where 3 other older women are dancing. I laugh from afar until one comes and grabs me. The dance floor is right next to the speakers where the off key music and screeching feedback is coming from so I'm already uncomfortable. They sort of push FI and I together so I thought I would appease them by dancing with FI; maybe they think it's cute? Nope. The one who dragged me yells at me, "OH NO! WE ARE DANCING AS A GROUP! DO NOT DO THAT!" Then that same woman goes and grabs FI's dad and forces me to hold hands with him on the dance floor until they finally let us leave. The bride and groom never acknowledged me at all. The closest they came was when they went around to every table and forced us to take, essentially, class pictures with them in a line. FI and I had to drive 5 hours from DC to NY that morning to attend that wedding. We left at 7am and didn't get back to FI's parents until 2:30am. Misery is not a strong enough word.
Posted by emeejeeayen[/QUOTE]

I'm from LI...just curious--what is the venue on the beach with no windows?

gmcr78 · April 2013

I haven't been to too many that were truly awful.
I was a guest of my BF at the time at the wedding of his coworker. They did a money dance and the groom's mother went around from table to table to shame people into participating. I had never witnessed a money dance before, so I have this to thank for turning me off to it entirely.
A BM got into a fist fight in the parking lot after the ceremony and had to be dragged out. Police were called. The bride was part of it at one point.

Another wedding-not nearly enough food. The dinner was all stations, and they were almost entirely cleaned out by the time I got up to get food.

My uncle's wedding was a drunken mess at a little chapel in a town where they do the typical quickie Vegas-style wedding (sorry to offend anyone-not all Vegas weddings are like this-I'm talking about the really shady places). I was young at this one, all I remember is how dim and dank the place was, and how awful the cheap chandeliers looked.

MuppetFan · April 2013

In Response to Re: Worst Weddings:
[QUOTE]I...in parades FMIL. Wearing the veil from her wedding 30+ years ago. And carrying her corsage as a bouquet. The minister was so shocked he dropped his prayer book. The organist, who was watching this all from the choir loft, just stopped in mid-song, holding the keys down. My friend looked ready to kill her FMIL. Her now-DH looked so shell-shocked he didn't know what to say.
Posted by lemclane[/QUOTE]

Wow, that's just insane!!!

CMGr, you have good stories! Did your MIL come around?

Anastasia517 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Worst Weddings:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Worst Weddings : Nope! I outlived her. She relented a bit when I gave her her first grandchild (the bride in the photo).
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Between your MIL and all the weddings you've seen, I'm sure you could write a very interesting and funny book of past experiences.

StephJean83 · May 2013

I was MOH in the wedding. The bride had been told by another she was MOH if her DH was BM, but the bride had asked me and the other girl took herself and DH out when B/G wouldn't pay for their outfits. The bride tried kicking a BM out of the wedding and it didn't take so the day before they found a another friend stand up, so his suit, tie and hat were different from the other guys. At the reception the brides sister freaked out because I was MOH. The BM the bride wanted out had sex with a guy outside and tried go get a few other guys to go out back with her. She started fighting with the B/G and the cops came. They did cash bar but for the wedding party and their dates. One BM's BF called friends to the reception, it was in a bar so no real distinction between wedding guests and bar regs. He and his friends went through 3 bottles of Patron. They had a dollar dance, the FOB left before the dance started because the DJ was delayed and was late.

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