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How long will you be apart before your ceremony?

genki_as_hellgenki_as_hell member
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Will you spend the night before apart?
More than one night?
Who gets to stay at home (if either)?
Whose idea was it?
Why did you choose what you did?

I'm really curious about how other people are handling this tradition (of not seeing each other before the wedding.) My FH and I are the opposite of superstitious, we're going to be thousands of miles from where we usually live (thus in a hotel, and who wants to pay for an extra room), and I am a bucket of anxiety on a good day.

Seems like a no-brainer for us, we'll be together the night before, have a leisurely breakfast and morning together, only be apart while we get ready, and then have a "first look" shoot. :-) As little time apart as possible for us makes the most sense.

Curious what other brides are doing.

(Accidentally hit enter so my poll got messed up oops... just ignore that.)
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Re: How long will you be apart before your ceremony?

  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    FI and I are currently staying with my mom and are moving shortly after the wedding.  I will be staying there the night before with whichever of my BMs want to crash with me.  We'll be getting ready at my house the next day.  We haven't exactly figured out what FI is going to do, but he'll likely stay at a hotel the night before with some of his GMs and they'll get ready there the next day.  I'd love to stay at the hotel instead, but I just know I'll be a lot less stressed if I can sleep and get ready in the comfort of my home.  The first time we see each other will be the ceremony.  We're pretty anti-first look (at least for us), and want our first look to be when he sees me walk down the aisle, and the music's going, and our family is there to see it.  That's just a personal choice.  I know plenty of people who did the first look/pictures beforehand and they said that the moment they first saw each other at the ceremony wasn't any less special just because they had already seen each other.  Do whatever you're comfortable with!
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I dropped H off at his mom's house the night before the wedding.  I stayed at home.  We didn't see each other until I walked down the aisle at 5 pm.  I don't think H cared either way about the tradition, he isn't superstitious at all.  But I wanted to do it.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Our wedding was OOT.   We slept apart from the time we arrived at my parent's house (Tuesday before Saturday wedding) through the other house we stayed in for the wedding (also different from where my parents lived.)   My parents were old fashsion and didn't like the idea of non-married people sleeping the same room in their home. Not that they said we couldn't. There is just this un-written rule so to speak.   DH was all about respecting their feelings on the subject.  I would have fought them on the subject,  but there was something sweet about him wanting to respect their feelings. DH's mom allowed him overnight female guests at age 15.  So it was kind-of strange he felt that way.    In the end it was no big deal.

    Thursday before the wedding he stayed with some friends at their hotel after going to Atlantic City on a b-party of sorts until the wee hours of the morning.     The night before the wedding he shared a room with his mom. Which was sweet for them.  We do not live near her, so it was nice for them to spend time together as son and mom. 

    We didn't see each other until we did our first look at 3:30pm.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    H and I spent the night in different hotel rooms the night before the wedding.  He stayed with his best man and I stayed with my sister (who was also my MOH).  This worked out well because both of their SOs did not come into town until the day of the wedding.  We did not see each other on the day of the wedding until I walked down the aisle.  
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I always heard the tradition of not seeing the bride before the wedding...but I had always assumed that was not seeing her in her dress...that is until I came to The Knot and see my assumption has been "wrong" for all these years, lol. No matter.  My fiancee and I will see each other for most of the wedding day, beause the ceremony is not until 4PM.  Plus, we will both be out of town for the wedding and staying at a hotel.

    We joke that it is a destination wedding...but only for us, lol.  We live in New Orleans, but 80% of our guests live in my hometown in Orange County (CA), so we are having a small ceremony at my mom's house out there.  We will probably only part for 2-3 hours while I am getting my hair done and getting ready.  And I don't want him to see me in my dress at all until I am walking down the proverbial "aisle".  
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