Donations in lieu of gifts.

Re: Donations in lieu of gifts.

• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2013

  In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts.:
  [QUOTE]If you are set on the charity route then may I make a suggestion? Have a registry set up for "upgrades" but donate money to a charity instead of provide favors to your guests at the wedding. It will send the message that you care for a cause near and dear to you, and your guests won't miss a little bag of almonds with your date on it.
  Posted by mc4dj13[/QUOTE]
  
  This is a message that the guests don't need to hear.  They are not attending the wedding to be exhorted about who the couple thinks is "in need" or how generous they are to donate to it, and while they may not miss a little bag of almonds with the wedding date on it, they don't need to know that the couple chose not to spend money on them.  That's a very ungracious message to send.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2013 edited May 2013

  In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts.:
  [QUOTE]Wow...calm down... All I was saying was....I was hoping for constructive advice rather then people bashing someones choice. I see all to often Brides getting bashed for asking a simple question. People just want a little unbaised chit chat without feeling stupid. Maybe their looking for other options too!! People need to learn it's not what you say but how you say it. You can simply say "I don't feel its appropriate but here's an idea!" You sound harsh and bitter
  Posted by theoriginalmiababy[/QUOTE]
  
  No, you do.  You just were told something you didn't want to hear. 
  
  As for "bashing your choice," everyone has the right to have an opinion and even to express it.  You don't have to like it, but you do have to accept that not everyone shares your opinion, and yours may even be wrong.  Grow up.

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• Viczaesar member

  

  May 2013

  In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts.:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts. : And I don't donate to humans. Period. So glad we've established that.
  Posted by beachbum7212[/QUOTE]
  
  That's nice.

  
  
  
  

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• AllieBear725 member

  

  May 2013

  I was having this same thought, BUT after posting about it in a previous thread and hearing everyone else's points, I agree that it's not appropriate. I was going to have the knot website donate on our behalf. We decided instead to have a small registry, one at target, one at BBB and if we run out of items our guests can either choose to give us $, or nothing at all. Whatever we do receive we will donate anonymously to the SPCA. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• jennyd412 member

  

  May 2013

  
  
  I would personally be annoyed if somebody asked me to donate to a specific charity. I always donate to cancer charities and have also donated to Autism Speaks and other charities specific to helping people. I am not an animal hater, but I'm not an animal lover. I just happen to prefer to donate to a charity of my choice, when I want to...

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• mc4dj13 member

  

  May 2013

  In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts.:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts. : This is a message that the guests don't need to hear.  They are not attending the wedding to be exhorted about who the couple thinks is "in need" or how generous they are to donate to it, and while they may not miss a little bag of almonds with the wedding date on it, they don't need to know that the couple chose not to spend money on them.  That's a very ungracious message to send.
  Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]
  
  

  A little story Jen- We are doing this at our wedding. The Charity is The American Cancer Society. I am a 15 year suvivor, my mother in law is in recent remission, and my fiance's uncle recently passed away from thyroid cancer. Cancer hits very close to our families and so many others. Our guests have already expressed interest and  are overjoyed at our decision to give a gift that can truly do some good.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2013 edited May 2013

  In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts.:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Donations in lieu of gifts. : A little story Jen- We are doing this at our wedding. The Charity is The American Cancer Society. I am a 15 year suvivor, my mother in law is in recent remission, and my fiance's uncle recently passed away from thyroid cancer. Cancer hits very close to our families and so many others. Our guests have already expressed interest and  are overjoyed at our decision to give a gift that can truly do some good.
  Posted by mc4dj13[/QUOTE]
  
  You know something mc4dj13?  I lost my beloved aunt and grandparents to cancer too. And I wish desperately that they could be at my wedding.   And I have other relatives who are cancer survivors.
  
  But you know something else?   My wedding is not about what "hits very close to our families and so many others."  It is meant to be a day of joy, not loss, grief, and suffering, or reminders thereof.
  
  If you want to donate to the American Cancer Society of your own funds, fine.  If your relatives and friends want to donate to the American Cancer Society of their own funds without being prompted or nudged to "honor" you or anyone else this way, also fine.  Making a big publicity thing out of the donations or "in lieu of" ? Not fine.
  
  Weddings are not fundraisers or awareness-raising events-they are about the union of two people.  That's it.  Not about charitable causes, relatives you'd like to "honor," or anything else that anyone can come up with.  So I'm not moved by this with regards to weddings.
  
  There are many nice ways to remember deceased loved ones at weddings, but two that are not are obvious "memorials" and charitable deductions that are publicized in a big way by way of "awareness-raising."

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