So, I'm pretty sad right now about some family stuff. I texted BF to let him know what's going on, but I don't want to keep him up talking, and I really wouldn't know what to say about it anyway. I just kind of want to put it out there and whine a little. So if anybody here is awake anyway, vibes, perspective, and/or distractions of any kind are welcome.
Both of my younger brothers are heroin addicts and have been for five or six years. The one has been doing well recently and has a job, is trying to save up for a reliable car, etc. The other, who has been living with me and my mom, is more volatile, and he is also a type I diabetic and does not take care of himself in that respect. He had been doing better with stuff like blood sugar checks, learning to drive, and job-hunting, but over the past week or two he has been acting very "use-y," for lack of a better word. Come to find out he has been doing crack, heroin, and everything else he can get his hands on. Although nothing of mine has gone missing, I wouldn't be surprised if he has stolen money or pawned something to pay for it, as that is how he has funded everything in the past.
I was in my bed doing a word search and starting to get drowsy when I found all of this out just a little while ago. My mom and her friend came up to his room and I could hear my mom crying, so I went out to see what was up, although I pretty much could figure it out from context. She is kicking him out, which is probably a very overdue course of action, so things are changing here.
I am just very sad, angry, and disappointed all at once. My other brother was kicked out when he turned 18, and so much shit went down after that - arrests, homelessness, etc. Now that this brother is 18 and newly out on his own, especially with the diabetes, I am really afraid for him. While anyone can see that he needs a kick in the ass, I just don't know if he will get the message before he ends up irreversibly hurting himself. I am also irrationally angry with the people he has used with; I have got to remember that these are all his choices and that he's not the cute little brother I grew up with and love and am quite close to. He decides for himself, and obviously the gravity of his decisions are totally lost on him.
So that's what's up. Thanks for reading what the new girl has on her mind. Hopefully I can sleep now after getting that off my chest.