African American Weddings

Rant...Am I selfish?

I totally feel like no one is as invested in my wedding! I don't want to sound like a brat, but the MOH, BM's are aloof! Not sure if this is happening for everyone else, but my mother is the only person invested in getting the "checks" done. AM I being to self-centered...I can accept honesty! IS this happening to anyone else?

If my besties were getting married, I'd be all in!

Re: Rant...Am I selfish?

  • No one will care more about your wedding than you do. Be thankful your mom is all in, some don't even have that much support. Some people just don't have that wedding gene. I personally love weddings and everything about them, so if one of my friends were getting married, I would have a wedding question for her everyday and would want to know every detail. Not everyone is like that! I was lucky to have have 3 out of my 5 bridesmaids that wanted to hear about my wedding everyday. Just use the support that you have, ask for help when you need it but don't expect everyone to be excited about the type of flowers, linens, invites etc. you have chosen. 

    (total side bar, with the new format on here, why can't we see where knotties are from? is there some other way?)
    Anniversary
  • Thanks @rowenac82...I get it, I get it..no one is as excited & I am thankful for my mom. I'll just have to find my extra support here! You ladies are FAB by the way :)

    I'm not sure about the loaction info, but I'm from CT

  • cocolux5585  as you read in my post about my problem BM's dont really have a major concern because its not their day and im like you id be all over it if it was one of my friends but then i guess we have to understand that its OUR day and not theirs so of course to them its like dang all she talk about is this wedding LOL....(taking heed of my own advice LOL)

    Lilypie - H1jI


    Daisypath - MFL5



  • @misstira girl I hear ya!  I'll have to go back to your post for some insight!
  • Its so funny you posted this. Me and my fiance was just talking about very topic this morning. I feel the same way. The only person who calls me and talks to me about my wedding is FSIL. My own sister dont ever have anything to say. All she ever worries about is the bachelorett party smh... But yes you ladies are right, nobody will care about your wedding as much as you do and it took a long time to realize this. It just gets to me because I know how I would be if one of my friends were getting married. I would be all over it.

    Mrs. Mosley 2 be
  • LeciaBLeciaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    if you need us you know we are here.. it sucks that people dont care as much but oh well.. maybe something is wrong with me becasue people care about it more than I do.. I really want to do stuff on my own adn just have the girls show up..lol

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • leatbaleatba member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    Honestly if it weren't for this board and my month board I would have given up and eloped by now. They (fam and friends) are excited for you, but that's it. I had to learn to accept that and get things done on my own. Rely on your FI to help.
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  • LeciaBLeciaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    leatba said:
    Honestly if it weren't for this board and my month board I would have given up and eloped by now. They (fam and friends) are excited for you, but that's it. I had to learn to accept that and get things done on my own. Rely on your FI to help.

    this^^^^^^^

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • I agree with Ro, noone will be as excited or invested as u are. Its super awesome that mom is b/c not every mom will be either. Does you BP know what your expectations are of them? For the most part they are generally just there for support. It's really nice if they are willing to help out but they may consider it a burden unfortunately. Maybe mention to everyone what you are working on and that if anyone is avaialble to help you you would appreciate it. Sometimes people may just think you have it all together if you dont mention it. I sent out a message to my girls about my favors when it was time to do them and most of hem were fired up & ready to help. They just didnt know I needed help.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Yes..we have been going thru this very same thing. My coworkers have seem more intrested in the details than my family and his family and friends. Like Ro said..no one will be as happy as you. The closer I'm getting to the day the more I'm focused on me and FI and our soon to be new life as hubby and wife. We are to give you the excitment u want and need hun !!

    Sn..my bride is kissing her groom..I can't wait to tgat on my day !!
  • No I do not think you are being selfish. True no one is going to be as invested than you but I would hope the bridal party would be understanding and willing to assist.

    I am going through the samething with my bridal party. No one seems to be able to do things together. Everyone wants to do dress shopping separate. One does not like the colors I picked. One does not like the dresses. They acting a fool.

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  • Thanks for the support ladies! I'm glad I'm not in the boat alone. I'll have to start posting and commenting more often. You ladies SUPPORT & give great advice!
  • cocolux5585 this is the best board on TK...them other boards either the women are toooooo honest or they dont reply at all...smh I LOVE ME SOME AAW... These group of women are not only supportive but very very resourceful...

    Lilypie - H1jI


    Daisypath - MFL5



  • LeciaBLeciaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    misstira said:

    cocolux5585 this is the best board on TK...them other boards either the women are toooooo honest or they dont reply at all...smh I LOVE ME SOME AAW... These group of women are not only supportive but very very resourceful...

    This 100%

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
  • Just piggybacking what everyone else says....I actually have a good friend who is planning a wedding during the same time as me.  She is one of my BM but lately we dont talk as much as we used to, partly because her and her FI share a cell phone (who does that?)  but we are wrapped up in planning so Im good.  I really dont need any help from my BM except buy the dress and show up (control issues! lol).  That why if something is messed up, I have no one to blame but me and coordinator, thus, risking friendships.....FI family doesn't seen too interested which is fine too but then again, I'm not around them as much so he may be filtering questions....HTH!

     

    SN: My mom and some of my family are excited!  Which is good enough for me!

    Wedding Countdown Ticker Simply Fabulous!
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