Question about who decorates the reception hall

JenniferS82 · May 2013

I am getting married in a week and a half and I am now starting to panic about the planning on the wedding day and when to get everything done. I found out that I am not able to get into the room where the reception is being held until noon the day of the wedding. I was planning on getting my bridesmaids and several other people who offered to help decorate the room with me. However, several people, including one of my bridesmaids, has said that it is not mine (meaning me as the bride) or the girls responsibility to decorate the room, that we should be getting pampered all day, and that the guys or other guests should do it. I do not want to guy doing it because I want it done the right way, not the way they want to do it. I also don't want to ask guests because I feel that that is rude. Who usually sets up the reception room?

brielleinlove · May 2013

Under no circumstances should you "get your bridesmaids" (or anyone else) to decorate the reception space. Hire a day-of coordinator to do the decorating.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in a week and a half and I am now starting to panic about the planning on the wedding day and when to get everything done. I found out that I am not able to get into the room where the reception is being held until noon the day of the wedding. I was planning on getting my bridesmaids and several other people who offered to help decorate the room with me. However, several people, including one of my bridesmaids, has said that it is not mine (meaning me as the bride) or the girls responsibility to decorate the room, that we should be getting pampered all day, and that the guys or other guests should do it. I do not want to guy doing it because I want it done the right way, not the way they want to do it. I also don't want to ask guests because I feel that that is rude. Who usually sets up the reception room?
Posted by JenniferS82[/QUOTE]

Is there a person you can hire?A DOC? Maybe a few VERY trustworthy young people from the neighborhood? (any babysitters? maybe).

Can you set a mock-up and give the photos to the dudes?

JenniferS82 · May 2013

I am working on a budget and don't really want to pay anyone to do it. Plus, with it being only a week and a half away I'm not sure I can find anyone in that short a time.

STARMOON44 · May 2013

It might be nice getting pampered all day, but you either need to do this yourself, with anyone who offers to help, her a coordinator, or arrange for the venue to take care of it. Are you using a florist? Sometimes they're willing to handle set up for an additional fee.

brielleinlove · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]I am working on a budget and don't really want to pay anyone to do it. Plus, with it being only a week and a half away I'm not sure I can find anyone in that short a time.
Posted by JenniferS82[/QUOTE]

If you don't want to pay someone to do it, you need to do it yourself with help from VOLUNTEERS (meaning, no sending out an email to friends and family asking for people to help you decorate - if someone asks if they can do something to help, tell them this is something they can do).

If you don't want to do that either, you're stuck paying someone. I bet you could find some local college students or teenagers who would be happy to do this for not a whole ton of money.

Jen4948 · May 2013

Either you do it yourself or you pay someone. You don't ask your wedding party to do it as a "duty" to you.

LindsayP101 · May 2013

I don't understand why you wouldn't ask your bridesmaids or your family to help you with this task?? I helped my friend decorate her reception space the morning of her wedding and then we went and got our hair and make-up done...I'm also asking them to do the same for me for my wedding. I would ask your bridal party if they are available and if they don't want to...ask someone else. I'm sure there are lots of people who wouldn't mind helping out for an hour to set up your reception space. Unless you have a grand vision of uplighting, draping and other elaborate decorations...there is no reason this can't be done in an hour on your wedding day. Ideal? No. Doable? Yes.

Jessa617 · May 2013

I decorated the hall myself. I was able to go in before the ceremony, get everything set up quickly, then went off to the hair salon and to go get ready. It only took me 2 1/2 hours total to get ready.

I totally get wanting to be pampered since it's your wedding day, but if you don't want to hire a DOC, then you are stuck doing it yoursef. The reception is FOR the guests, so you are correct in assuming asking guests to decorate is rude.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]I am working on a budget and don't really want to pay anyone to do it. Plus, with it being only a week and a half away I'm not sure I can find anyone in that short a time.
Posted by JenniferS82[/QUOTE]

Well if you won't hire anyone, then unfortunately it's up to you to decorate.

Do you have any friends with kids that are babysat? I really suggest finding some really trustworthy, good kids with good report cards (specifically in the behavior, conduct and effort portions) and asking to hire them. It'll take, what, maybe 2 hours to set up for 2-3 kids? Have them come over one night this week, show them the mock-up table and take pictures for them. Make sure all of the stuff, including the pictures are there. Have them call you when they get there and when they're done; ask if they can send you a picture message. It'll cost you less than $100 for all of them (maybe $90 for 3 kids if it's 3 hours total of their time).

brielleinlove · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why you wouldn't ask your bridesmaids or your family to help you with this task?? I helped my friend decorate her reception space the morning of her wedding and then we went and got our hair and make-up done...I'm also asking them to do the same for me for my wedding. I would ask your bridal party if they are available and if they don't want to...ask someone else. I'm sure there are lots of people who wouldn't mind helping out for an hour to set up your reception space. Unless you have a grand vision of uplighting, draping and other elaborate decorations...there is no reason this can't be done in an hour on your wedding day. Ideal? No. Doable? Yes.
Posted by LindsayP101[/QUOTE]

Your bridesmaids are not your wedding slaves who are supposed to be at your beck and call to serve as unpaid florists, decorators, caterers, gofers, makeup artists, present transporters, or anything else. Bridesmaids are your nearest and dearest whom you honor by having by your side as you say your vows - nothing more, nothing less.

If your friends are volunteering (as in, they asked what they could do and you gave them "help me decorate" as an answer, not as in you commanded them to decorate), then that is acceptable. But if you are dictating that they act as unpaid event workers, that is a terribly rude way to treat your friends.

JenniferS82 · May 2013

I don't have a huge elaborate plan and some of the things I am paying to have done, like the chair covers and sashes. Instead of doing them myselves I am paying the company who I am renting them from do it. I am trying to get everything done before hand so I can just put them on the tables. Hopefully it will all work out and it wont take too long.

s-aries8990 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]I don't have a huge elaborate plan and some of the things I am paying to have done, like the chair covers and sashes. Instead of doing them myselves I am paying the company who I am renting them from do it. I am trying to get everything done before hand so I can just put them on the tables. Hopefully it will all work out and it wont take too long.
Posted by JenniferS82[/QUOTE]

That's good! Orgnaization is key! It'll get you and/or whoever else you hire/volunteers on their own accord out sooner

AddieCake · May 2013

My bridesmaids and one of my aunts volunteered to do it for me. I had everything as organized as possible so all they had to do was set stuff out, really.

brielleinlove · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]I don't have a huge elaborate plan and some of the things I am paying to have done, like the chair covers and sashes. Instead of doing them myselves I am paying the company who I am renting them from do it. I am trying to get everything done before hand so I can just put them on the tables. Hopefully it will all work out and it wont take too long.
Posted by JenniferS82[/QUOTE]

Sounds like it shouldn't take too long or add too much to your bill. Glad you got it figured out

JenniferS82 · May 2013

brielleinlove I am not expecting them to be my slaves or at my beck and call. I just think it was funny how the one bridesmaid said she would help out decorating and would even get her friends to help and now she is saying we should be pampered and shouldn't do it at all.

brielleinlove · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]@ brielleinlove I am not expecting them to be my slaves or at my beck and call. I just think it was funny how the one bridesmaid said she would help out decorating and would even get her friends to help and now she is saying we should be pampered and shouldn't do it at all.
Posted by JenniferS82[/QUOTE]

Oh no, that wasn't directed at you! Sorry! That was directed at the person I quoted, LindsayP101.

JenniferS82 · May 2013

Sorry

monkeysip · May 2013

Because of the timing of the ceremony and reception, no one attending our ceremony would be able to help set-up (we don't have access to the reception until 15 minutes before our ceremony begins).

We're hiring two of my sister's co-workers to do it. We're paying them $150 each. I don't know if that's too much or too little, but they do have to drive 35 miles each way, so I wanted to make it worth their time.

I'm giving them everything in labeled boxes with pictures, a diagram of the hall, and detailed instructions. And praying it goes well

SomethingBeautiful08 · May 2013

I think that who does it varys dramatically depending on the wedding situation. At my wedding, a friend offered to set it up for us. At my sister's wedding, the family and a few friends that had offered to help set up the space.

It would be nice if the only thing you or anyone else for that mater had to do day of was just get yourself ready, but it doesn't always work out that way. The hosts of an event are ulitmately responsible for executing their plan for the event, and decorating the reception hall is no different, if that means hiring someone or doing it yourself.

If the guys are willing to do it and agreeable to following your plans I'm sure they are more then capable. If seeing the groom before the wedding is agreeable to you, why not do it together, with the help of others? Absolutely get yourself organized so it is as straight forward and easy as possible. Do call on those that have offered to help... they shouldn't feel obligated even if they have offered, but they can't help you if you don't tell them how they can help you.

winelover123 · May 2013

I'd just get in there with my FI and decorate. If you organize everything, it shouldn't take long. It sounds like a few people offered to help - not just the one BM. If they did offer to help, ask them if they'd like to help set some things out at x time that day.

NYCMercedes · May 2013

In Response to Re: Question about who decorates the reception hall:
[QUOTE]Because of the timing of the ceremony and reception, no one attending our ceremony would be able to help set-up (we don't have access to the reception until 15 minutes before our ceremony begins). We're hiring two of my sister's co-workers to do it. We're paying them $150 each. I don't know if that's too much or too little, but they do have to drive 35 miles each way, so I wanted to make it worth their time. I'm giving them everything in labeled boxes with pictures, a diagram of the hall, and detailed instructions. And praying it goes well

Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

OP, monkey is doing it the right way.

Meghannsix · May 2013

I have about two hours between the time I can get into the venue, and the time when I have to leave to get to my hair/MU appt. I'm planning on super organizing my decor, so I can go up as efficiently as possible. I did recruit one of my bridesmaids to help, my daughter, but making her help is more of a "you're my kid" thing rather than a "you're my brideslave" thing.

TerriHugg · May 2013

My self and other bridesmaids were asked to decorate the reception hall the morning of the wedding. While I agree it should be avoided if possible, I can understand asking if all other options have been exhausted. And I definitely did not feel like a slave for being asked by the bride to help. I understood that she was in a bind and needed some assistance and myself and the other bridesmaids wanted to make sure her days was exactly how she imagined it. We just wanted nothing more than to see her happy.

I know I'm going to get completely chewed out for saying this, but I think asking bridesmaids to help set up depends on the dynamic of the relationship. For lack of better words, I see is the same way as having certain friends who you can ask to borrow money if need be and others you wouldn't based on friendship dynamics.

kerbohl · May 2013

It sucks that you don't have the hall available sooner than the day of, but that is pretty common. My FI insisted that we get a venue that had the space available the day before so the two of us could set up any decor.

Since it is the day of, organization as you have mentioned is important, and anyone who has offered to help - don't feel bad taking them up on it!

But I've got a question, and I apologize for calling out the people who have given you the advice that you and your BMs should be pampered that day . . . why should the guys then be the ones that have to set up so the BMs (who have already offered to help apparently) don't have to? I don't quite understand why people would make that suggestion to you - it comes off as a bit dated, in that the guys are expected to do the heavy lifting so the girls can get "pampered". Groomsmen and bridesmaids are both as important, and bridesmaids shouldn't expect to get special treatment at the expense of the groomsmen. If people have offered to help, they can't take back their offer and then force their offer on someone else. That comes off as a bit rude. Please don't force your FI's groomsmen to decorate if they haven't offered, even if one of your BM has made that suggestion - it's not good advice.

JenniferS82 · May 2013

Thank you Kerbohl. I agree with what you said that the groomsmem should decorate the venue just so the girls get pampered. I am taking the girls in the morning and going and get manis and pedis for them, which I am paying for. So to me that is pampering enough for them. The BM that said we should be getting pampered all day owns her own hair salon and she is doing everyone's hair for the wedding. I'm not sure if she is just stressing on how she is going to get ready and also do everyone's hair at the same time. I am having the wedding and reception at a hotel and I have rented a room (a 2 sotry suite) the night before so everyone has a place to get ready. I am also having all the girls stay with me the night before so we will all be there. I am going to have all the decorations there so we can just transfer them to the room where the reception is (it is a room that is detached from the hotel, but on hotel property). Hopefully, with me being organized and my decorations not being of great detail it should only take an hour with a few other people's help. I know my mom, my MOH, and my fiance's daughter will be there to help if not my other BM.

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