How important is engagement party for the Asian culture?

Re: How important is engagement party for the Asian culture?

• Phuanny87 member

  

  May 2013

  Sorry this post is pertaining to Cambodian culture.

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• Peledreamsofrain member

  

  May 2013

  The engagement itself is very important in Cambodian culture. Your mother is talking about an engagment CEREMONY, not just a party.  The parental role in this is extremely important (which is probably why she's so insistant).

  
  

   I agree with Stage that you and your FI need to decide if you want to adhere to the cultural traditions, or if it's not important to you.  It doesn't sound like your parents are doing an arranged marriage, so you have this leeway.

  
  

  Here are some resources that may help:

  
  

  http://www.thesunchronicle.com/attleboro/schools/the-page-tying-the-knot-cambodian-style/article_9ff88ad1-bd28-5576-b1dc-70a0708af524.html

  
  

  http://cambodian-weddings.com/services.html

  Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• Phuanny87 member

  

  May 2013 edited May 2013

  We were trying to adhere to some traditons but she's becoming a momzilla.  It's moreover if we don't do what she says she's not going to accept the marriage.  Also, not to mention, we're paying for 100% of it, but she feels like she gets 100% of the say.  So frustrated.  It's been an ongoing problem for the past few months where what we say doesn't go anywhere.  It just seems like any idea we have she shuts them down.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2013

  I think your best course of action is to minimize your mother in the planning.  Just don't discuss it with her.  I have the feeling she is going to refuse to participate no matter what given what you've posted about her, so you don't have anything to lose by not talking about it.

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• brielleinlove member

  

  May 2013

  Engagement ceremonies are very important in many Asian cultures - my best friend is first-generation American of Vietnamese descent and her mother INSISTED on an engagement ceremony.  Wouldn't hear of doing it otherwise, because she felt it was disrespectful to their ancestors to simply get married without the engagement ceremony.  It carried a lot of meaning for her.  

  
  

  I think this decision comes down to how much you DON'T want to have an engagement ceremony.  My friend didn't really care about having an engagement ceremony, but didn't mind doing it either, so she went along with it to please her mother.  (Parents pay for the engagement ceremony.)  You might feel differently.

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