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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

a couple little questions for Catholic ceremony

Hey all! So I'm having a Catholic ceremony without a mass (as I am a Catholic marrying a non-denominational Christian) and my fiance and I just had our second meeting with our priest. I've known him for years and I'm very glad to have him doing our ceremony, but he's so easygoing that we're finding it difficult to make some little decisions and I'd love some suggestions. For our "homework" before our next meeting with him he asked us to decide (among other things) whether our attendants would stand or sit during the ceremony (and when they would stand up and sit down), whether my fiance and I would sit for parts of the ceremony (and if so, for which parts) or stand for the entire ceremony, and how the wedding party and parents would process down the aisle. He gave us so many options as to how to do the procession that I was overwhelmed. Should the groom walk alone, wait, and then have the groomsmen and bridesmaids walk down paired? Should the best man go ahead with the groom so he doesn't have to stand alone? Should the groom walk down with his mother and father? Should his walk just his mother, and if so where does that leave his father (they are still married)? The only thing we're sure of is that I am going to walk down last with my mother and father.

Long story short, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by things that don't matter very much to either of us. I'd love to hear what you ladies did with these details in your weddings or what some of your plans are. Thanks!!
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Re: a couple little questions for Catholic ceremony

  • I am having a Catholic ceremony as well and I can tell you what we traditionally do at my family's ceremony.
    The groom's mother and father are seated (I've only seen the groom seat his mother when his father was not present or the family was split). Then (if your mom weren't walking with you) your dad would walk your mom to her seat and then go back to be with you.
    The groom followed by his groomsman walk up the side aisle and stand at the alter.
    The bridesmaid's walk alone down the center aisle, followed by your flower girl, then you.
    Then you and your dad (and mom, in your case- btw that is super cute).
    Then you are joined with your groom and when the father says to be seated your wedding party is seated in the first pews and you take your seat in the two chairs in the sanctuary.
    The wedding party then comes back up when you stand for the right of marriage and stay standing with you until the service is ended.
    Then when you leave the grooms man and bridesmaids pair up to walk down the center aisle together.

    I hope this helps. I know there's lots of ways of doing but I think the way I described is most traditional.

  • Thank you!!! It's awesome to have at least a place to start!
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm a little surprised he did not give you some books and literature to help you with some of these decisions.  Perhaps these links will help you out a little bit...



    As for the processional, I think Father gave you "free rein" because there is a lot of flexibility.  

    My daughter had her BM's walk up single file, and the GM's were already standing at the altar.
  • we had H's mom seated by the Best Man (who was H's brother), then my mom was seated, by my H (my dad is deceased), and then the Best Man and MOH walked in together, and then H and I walked in together.  Traditional Catholic weddigns actually call for the bride and groom to walk in together but not many do it.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    DH & I had a Catholic ceremony without a full mass. We (and the bridal party) sat during the readings and the other "normal" times. I'm so glad we weren't standing the whole time!
  • Tami87Tami87 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    It is really up to you!

    We did,
    MOG + FOG
    MOB escorted by FOB (who looped around and came back to walk with me)

    Priest, Groom and Groomsmen enterd from side to stand at the front of the church.
    Bridesmaids walked individually
    MOH
    Flower Girl
    Bride + FOB

    Wedding party stood only for the rite of marriage (the rest of the time they stood, sat or kneeled with the rest of the guests since we had a full mass).

    About half the Catholic weddings I have been to did it the way we did and the other half had the wedding party walk in as pairs. I have almost always seen the wedding party seated in the front row of the pews off to the side (or chairs in front of the altar rail) and stand up front for just the Rite of Marriage.

    Since either way is completely fine and it was a detail that didn't matter to us too much I ended up making the decision of having bridesmaids walk alone or in pairs with groomsmen based on thinking about the pictures. I decided I rather have a picture of each smiling bridesmaid alone than a picture of them trying to walk in time with someone they just met and may never see again. We also have a great shot of all the guys waiting up front with my husband that I love. For us it also made sense not to do pairs because we had an uneven wedding party. On the other hand H's cousin had his sisters and their husbands in the wedding party and decided to have everyone walk in as pairs except for the BM and MOH. They got some great shots of each sister being escorted by her husband that I also love. So maybe thinking about who is in your wedding party and if you want pictures of them as pairs will help you make a decision if you don't already have a preference.
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  • My BIL's wedding was without the full mass as well, but since they still did all the readings, the whole thing was about 30 minutes.  I would advise to allow you and your BP to sit!  We had the full mass, but our entire WP sat in the first pew, then our parents were in the 2nd pew.  We sat in chairs right in front of the altar.  The front of our church is smaller and not big, like with older churches.

    When it was time for the vows, H & I stood on the top step in front of the altar, then his BM stood behind him and my two MOHs stood behind me.  The rest of the BP stayed seated in the first pews.

    We also had uneven sides, so the BM (also H's brother) seated his mom (dad is deceased), my two brothers escorted my mom, the BMs walked in one at a time, my niece and nephew walked in together, then each MOH by themselves.  Then my dad and I walked in together.  For the recessional, it was H&I, the BM and 1st MOH, GM and 2nd MOH, GM and BM, my neice and nephew, then the last two BM walked out together.

    Don't sweat this stuff!  Just make a decision on what you think will work best, then stop thinking about it! 
  • Thanks everyone!!
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