Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?

JasonNBCT · April 2013

I've made a VERY unique pick for an engagement ring, and it's because my girlfriend's jewelry preferences are very unique.

http://www.zales.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4075908

She really isn't a "diamonds are a girl's best friend" kind of girl. Not that she would reject them, by any means

. But most of her jewelery can be described as "artsy fartsy," i.e. large semi-precious or non-precious stones and metals... turquoise, amethyst, pearls, sterling silver, glass costume jewelry... stuff like that.

She also genuinely likes BIG rings... She has a few rings she really likes that feature a large cluster of stones, or a large single stone. I'd say she favors ring size over stone preciousness.

That said, I figured, why not give her both? You can see I've gone with a blue central diamond to match those pretty blue eyes of hers. And something just tells me she's not the white-diamonds-on-white-gold type.

I know it's not typical, but this is the ONE ring that made me audibly lose my breath, and had me saying to myself, "oh my god, that's her engagement ring."

I hope she feels the same way when she sees it.

Thanks for your thoughts in advance.

Teddy917 · April 2013

It looks absolutely gorgeous. It sounds like you took the time and kept her interests in mind so I'm sure she'll love it.

tiny speck · April 2013

If you think she'll love it, great! It's not my style, personally, but it sounds like you put a lot of thought into it and the blue is quite striking!

JasonNBCT · April 2013

Not a vendor... real person here. I could understand the mistake, seeing as how it was my first post ever on the knot. That said, the first step in the wedding process is usually when the groom-to-be chooses an engagement ring for the love of his life...

The point of the post should be fairly obvious. Just want opinions on the ring I've chosen given the factors I've laid out. And yes, I do expect that a lot of people will say that it's "not their style," what with the unique design of the ring.

I just pray it's her style... because I suppose there is an element of risk in choosing a ring like this.

CrazyCatLady3 · April 2013

It sounds like you took her tastes into consideration. If you are really concerned she might not like it, you should propose within the return period for the ring and let her know you won't be hurt if she would like to exchange it for something else. Then she will know you put in the effort to get something you think she would love, but still want her to have something she really wants to wear even if it means it's not the one you chose. A lot of women post on here that they're not really into their rings but are afraid of hurting their fiance's feelings to say anything about it.

Hummingbird125 · April 2013

Well, you asked for opinions...

I personally don't like it. I like to wear big rings for fun too, but that's not what I would want for an engagement ring at all. If I'm planning on wearing a piece of jewelry every day for the rest of my life, I want it to be a lot more low-kep that that ring.

MayberryAfterMidnight · April 2013

In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?:
[QUOTE]Well, you asked for opinions... I personally don't like it. I like to wear big rings for fun too, but that's not what I would want for an engagement ring at all. If I'm planning on wearing a piece of jewelry every day for the rest of my life, I want it to be a lot more low-kep that that ring.
Posted by Hummingbird125[/QUOTE]

This. Personally, I think the ring you've picked out is stunning, and if your (future!) fiancee likes bigger rings, it's probably just right for her. But I just wonder if she would indeed want something as big and as ornate for her engagement ring - which she'll wear a lot of the time and not just when going out, etc. I don't know! This is why I can't imagine how hard it is to do a surprise proposal and wondering if the person will like the ring! FI and I designed mine together. Anyway, I like the ring you picked out and wouldn't mind having it myself as a cocktail ring haha - Good luck!

button6004 · April 2013

In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?:
[QUOTE]Yeah, if you're looking for opinions, I think it's HUGE and the flower style is going to make it harder to wear every day. I get what you're saying about your girlfriend's taste, but this ring isn't really a big "artsy" ring that will go with a lot of different outfits, it's the kind of ring you build an outfit around. However, if you really think she'll love it enough to wear it everyday, then go for it.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Cosigned. I have several large cocktail rings that I love to wear when we go out with friends or to fun parties, but I definitely am glad my FI went with the solitaire diamond I have for my engagement ring. Its not a party ring.

But, if you are confident that it is her style and that she is going to love it, then you made the right decision.

Belle2188 · April 2013

Yikes. This seems a bit risky to me. Have you ever talked to her about what type of ring she might like? As some others have said, many girls wear big costume jewelry as an accent, but wouldn't necessarily want that type of engagement ring since they'll ideally be wearing it every day for the rest of their lives. That ring looks pretty big, and all the points and jagged edges are bound to get caught on things. Not to mention, I see on the website it says it's only available online, so I'm assuming you haven't seen it in person and it doesn't look like the site gives you the option to choose the specs of your diamond...

It seems like you've put a lot of thought into it, and I don't want to discourage that--I think it's really great and I wish my BF took that kind of interest! If you're confident that it's what she would want, definitely give it to her. Even if she doesn't love it, at least she'll see how much effort you put into choosing it for her. As someone else said, maybe propose before the return deadline so you can exchange it if you need to. If that happens, my other piece of advice is to check out some smaller local jewelry stores--usually you'll find better quality diamonds at lower prices than you can at the big chains

JasonNBCT · April 2013

Hey guys,

I've also discussed this with a lot of friends, and I think i agree... This just flat out isn't an engagement ring.

It's a beautiful ring, but it's not an every-day wear. It's one thing to like big rings, it's another to wear the same one every day.

http://www.kay.com/en/kaystore/engagement---wedding/diamond-sapphire-ring-1-2-ct-tw-round-cut-14k-white-gold

Here's the second thought. This one is also wonderfully unique, but I think I like the "sapphire blue" better, and it's more practical.

It's also 1700 dollars cheaper... that doesn't hurt!

Belle2188 · April 2013

Much better! Seriously though, check out some other jewelers. Some may even be able to create a similar setting but provide you with a better diamond. Did you research the 4 c's before you started shopping? I really think you could get a better quality (or bigger) diamond for your money.

JasonNBCT · April 2013

Hey Belle,

I do appreciate what you're saying. But honestly, I don't plan to do that level of research. I know that I could probably get a diamond with higher "ratings" and what not for the same price, but I see little use when the idea is for her to have the ring for the rest of her life. To me it's a gift, and not an investment.

My rules are not so much 4c's, but rather:
-Is it in my budget?

-Do I think she'll love it?

-Does it come from a reputable jeweler that will stand behind it?

I know, it's Kay, not Tiffany's, but I think the answer is "yes" to those three questions.

Belle2188 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?:
[QUOTE]Hey Belle, I do appreciate what you're saying. But honestly, I don't plan to do that level of research. I know that I could probably get a diamond with higher "ratings" and what not for the same price, but I see little use when the idea is for her to have the ring for the rest of her life. To me it's a gift, and not an investment. My rules are not so much 4c's, but rather: -Is it in my budget? -Do I think she'll love it? -Does it come from a reputable jeweler that will stand behind it? I know, it's Kay, not Tiffany's, but I think the answer is "yes" to those three questions.
Posted by JasonNBCT[/QUOTE]
Totally your call, but I was actually suggesting the exact opposite of going to Tiffany's

Big name jewelers (like Zales and Kay), charge a premium just like Tiffany's (although obviously Tiffany's is a bit higher!).

Personally, I would think that because she's going to have the ring for the rest of her life you would want to do as much research as possible. The "ratings" aren't just about an "investment," they're about the quality of the diamond, how much it sparkles, how many spots you can see in it, etc. Quite honestly if my BF said what you just did and just ordered my ring online without doing any research I'd be more than a little disappointed...

Not trying to be argumentative, just adding a little perspective.

cnf2013 · May 2013

The second ring is definitely a better choice for an engagement ring, although I do love the first. But I'd be apprehensive about wearing it as well. The ring my FI proposed with was his grandmothers original e-ring with her custom ring enhancer still soldered on. We eventually had the enhancer taken off, it made the ring too big for me, I couldn't find a single wedding ring to go with it (another concern I'd have with the first, that was a big deal to me personally).

That being said, I'd still take a look at some local jewelers too. Also, the website doesn't break down the TCW. It's 1/2 TCW but it doesn't say how that's divided between the center stone and the 16 side stones. It may end up being much smaller than you think. Just something to consider.

JasonNBCT · May 2013

In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts? : Totally your call, but I was actually suggesting the exact opposite of going to Tiffany's

Big name jewelers (like Zales and Kay), charge a premium just like Tiffany's (although obviously Tiffany's is a bit higher!). Personally, I would think that because she's going to have the ring for the rest of her life you would want to do as much research as possible. The "ratings" aren't just about an "investment," they're about the quality of the diamond, how much it sparkles, how many spots you can see in it, etc. Quite honestly if my BF said what you just did and just ordered my ring online without doing any research I'd be more than a little disappointed... Not trying to be argumentative, just adding a little perspective.
Posted by Belle2188[/QUOTE]

Well, Belle, I must say that second to last sentence does come off a bit presumptuous...

I have spent every non-working hour for a week searching for an engagement ring. It's been a tireless search. And I have no misgivings about searching online, as doing so expands one's options by many fold.

Furthermore, my plan is to have the chosen ring shipped to a store, then evaluate it in person. If I don't like it, it can always be returned... one good thing about the big-box stores is that they do have strong return policies. I wouldn't dare walk away with a ring that I haven't seen in person first.

You're right, I may overpay a bit, and a close evaluation may render the diamonds somewhat subpar. But I'm comfortable with all those things, because the value of my girlfriend's heart is not determined by nearly microscopic impefections in a piece of crystalline carbon.

I think I am going to make this my last post in the thread. I do thank everyone for their help and opinions... after all, it helped me off the ledge on that first ring. But in some ways, this exercise has resulted in more questions than answers.

Cheers, and the best to all of you.

(PS: For the record, all of the female friends I have consulted adore the second ring. The center stone is indeed 0.5 carat. Since the accessory diamonds are insignificant in weight, the approximate TW is also 1/2 carat. I know this because I contacted Kay to do the appropriate research.)

NOLAbridealmost · May 2013

Jason, have you been to Jared yet? My H originally did exactly what you are doing--checking out tons of stuff online and trying some of the stores in the mall looking for the perfect ring--then he was BLOWN AWAY by the huge selection at Jared and the relaxed atmosphere. Their entire business model is catering to guys by helping them find the best quality stone in the price range and they don't pressure you at all while you look around. You can literally take a setting like the beautiful one in the second picture and on the spot see it with hundreds of different loose diamonds from a huge range of prices until you find that perfect one. I highly recommend trying them first. And for the record, I do prefer the second ring, but I still think that both are the type that are more likely to cater to a smaller number of women's tastes so just be sure yr FI is in that number. You might want to ask one of your FIs friends if she has ever hinted at what she wants, good luck!

wittykitty14 · May 2013

They are both beautiful, but I'd prefer the second for a "wear every day" ring. It's less clunky, and a wedding band would likely be easier to fit to it.

It sounds like you've really done a nice job taking your girlfriend's tastes into consideration! We can give our opinions on the ring choices, but ultimately, you'll know which ring she'll like. Based on how you've described her, I don't think you could go wrong with either one of them!
I second the thoughts on going to a local jeweler. They might have something really unique that fits your girlfriend's artsy style!

Whatever you choose, I'm sure she will love it! Good luck!

button6004 · May 2013

Jason, I think the second ring is definitely a huge improvement. That being said, I will echo the thoughts of PPs who suggested you go to a store in person. Pictures online just dont do jewelry, especially an engagement ring, any justice. You might find yourself drawn to something else while there, too.

I also would recommend checking out a smaller, local jeweler. My FI went through a family-owned jeweler and was able to get an amazing price for the high quality of the diamond. He would not have been able to get the same size and quality for the price he paid at Kay, Zales or even Jared.

Also, DEFINITELY consider what kind of wedding band will be able to fit with the ring. My stone was set in a way that has made it so I need to have a curved wedding band, which has been harder to find then you would think.

At the end of the day, this is a huge investment. You are spending a lot of money (no matter how much the ring costs) and you should really put the thought and time into making sure you are making the right call and purchasing something beautiful that will last forever.

CrazyCatLady3 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts? : Totally your call, but I was actually suggesting the exact opposite of going to Tiffany's

Big name jewelers (like Zales and Kay), charge a premium just like Tiffany's (although obviously Tiffany's is a bit higher!). Personally, I would think that because she's going to have the ring for the rest of her life you would want to do as much research as possible. The "ratings" aren't just about an "investment," they're about the quality of the diamond, how much it sparkles, how many spots you can see in it, etc. Quite honestly if my BF said what you just did and just ordered my ring online without doing any research I'd be more than a little disappointed... Not trying to be argumentative, just adding a little perspective.
Posted by Belle2188[/QUOTE]

I totally agree. Mall chains like Zales and Kay use the lowest quality diamonds and then jack up the prices. Getting a better quality diamond will allow it to sparkle more, not have visible spots, etc.

Check out this article about chain jewelry stores.

http://www.truthaboutdiamonds.com/site-reviews/zales-jewelers-outlet-review/

Belle2188 · May 2013

In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts?:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just Bought Engagement Ring: Your Thoughts? : Well, Belle, I must say that second to last sentence does come off a bit presumptuous... I have spent every non-working hour for a week searching for an engagement ring. It's been a tireless search. And I have no misgivings about searching online, as doing so expands one's options by many fold. Furthermore, my plan is to have the chosen ring shipped to a store, then evaluate it in person. If I don't like it, it can always be returned... one good thing about the big-box stores is that they do have strong return policies. I wouldn't dare walk away with a ring that I haven't seen in person first. You're right, I may overpay a bit, and a close evaluation may render the diamonds somewhat subpar. But I'm comfortable with all those things, because the value of my girlfriend's heart is not determined by nearly microscopic impefections in a piece of crystalline carbon. I think I am going to make this my last post in the thread. I do thank everyone for their help and opinions... after all, it helped me off the ledge on that first ring. But in some ways, this exercise has resulted in more questions than answers. Cheers, and the best to all of you. (PS: For the record, all of the female friends I have consulted adore the second ring. The center stone is indeed 0.5 carat. Since the accessory diamonds are insignificant in weight, the approximate TW is also 1/2 carat. I know this because I contacted Kay to do the appropriate research.)
Posted by JasonNBCT[/QUOTE]
Jason, you were the one that said you didn't want to do research, not me. It would take quite a lot less than a tireless search to learn about the 4 c's. I could explain them to you in a few sentences right here, but I won't, since you've made it clear that those parameters don't matter to you.

I'm not trying to discourage you. I'm just offering advice based on my own experience. While ring shopping one day, I stopped in a Kay and then in a local jewelry store that cuts their own diamonds. Kay showed me a 3/4 carat diamond of mediocre quality for over $10k. The local jeweler showed me a full carat excellent quality diamond for just over $6k. To me, that's a big difference.

Regardless, I stand by my statement that the second ring is beautiful, and I wish you luck. As the others said, you just may want to look into what kind of wedding band would fit with that ring. Perhaps when it's delivered to the store and you go to pick it up you should ask the sales associate their thoughts and if they make anything that would work.

winelover123 · May 2013

I actually prefer the first ring. Maybe it's because my ring is big and "clunky" but I like big rings. The stone (garnet) is the size of my ring finger nail and has a halo around it. You will have issues trying to find a band to go with the first ring, but you can get one custom made or she can wear just the band at times and just the e-ring at others. I'd definitely suggest having it shipped to the store and checking it out in person - there was a ring I thought I loooooved from Jared's based on the picture, but when it got to the store, it just wasn't as spectacular. Is there a way to get a friend to show her both pictures and see which she prefers?

cjeanmaq · May 2013

Love it! Trust your instincts. Always go with your gut and your heart. My only concern is finding a wedding band to compliment it...

091109brIANna033013 · May 2013

I love the first ring you posted, mostly because I have always adored rings that resemble flowers and have color, but it would be hard to find a wedding band to go with it. The second ring is nice, but not as unique. Have you considered designing a ring yourself with the help of a jeweler to make it something unique and very her? Maybe something similar to the first one but a little smaller. My husband and I deisgned my ring and wedding band together and it turned out better than my wildest dreams. It is shaped like a flower with a half carat center diamond surrounded by rubies and a couple emeralds to look like leaves. We then had a band made with diamonds to go with it and my husband had a matching band made to go on the other side that he surprised me with a month after our wedding on March 30th. I had always imagined wearing a smaller ring since my hands are small, but I absolutly love my 3 rings and bands together and am glad that it is something unique that really represents us. So while the first ring you posted might be a little big, that doesn't mean she wouldn't love something similar.

chaiteachick · May 2013

I'll be honest; I like both. The second really does look more like an engagement ring, but in the end, if you two have talked previously and you know she'd prefer the first, then by all means, go for it!

I just received an ENORMOUS emerald-cut emerald--last night, in fact--that I am super-excited about, BECAUSE it's huge, and rather ostentatious. Honestly, if I'd gotten the usual 1/2 kt. diamond engagement ring, I'd have been a bit disappointed.

That being said, FI (first time using that--yay!) went to a loooooot of trouble to ensure that my stone is absolutely top-notch.

NerdyLucy · May 2013

I liked your first one, but I REALLY like the second one. Of course, I have a sapphire ring for myself (sapphire center stone), so I personally appreciate a gemstone engagement ring.

Really, it's just a matter of taste. I'm sure she'll love it.

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