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23 days & where the hell are my girls??

tompkgltompkgl
10 Comments
in Snarky Brides

We got engaged in Nov 2012 and are getting married in 23 days. The list of things to do at this point is insane! Thankfully my sister/MOH (who lives out of state)is getting here a week before the wedding to help. I am having a hard time with my bridesmaids. I understand they are all married and have children/jobs/lives, but I honest to God have not asked them to do a thing! I told all 3 of them to pick their own black dress/shoes/hair/makeup, I haven't put any ridiculous restrictions/or financial burden on any of them. As for the ceremony and reception..My fiance and I have done everything! Bridesmaid #1 went shopping with me once, Bridesmaid#2 went dress shopping with me once and then made a huge scene at the bridal shop when we picked out the flower girl dresses.(she was mad she didnt get to pick her daughters dress, but I gave her 6 mos and she hadnt picked one, so to ensure both flower girls dresses matched I picked them out with my other bridesmaid#3/SIL). Bridesmaid #3 is FI sister, she is pregnant with a high risk pregnancy, super busy/active in her community, husband just started a new job on the road, constantly. She is the only one who has offered to help and she is the one who should be taking it easy and taking care of here pregnancy.  I get it. I love these girls! In an instant they would be here if I needed them, that's why I dont understand why none of them have offered to help. It's crunch time!  I had a heart to heart with my FI last night, and he told me WE could do this and he didn't want to see me all stressed out, and he has never missed a deadline on a project, EVER and we could def do this. So I know we can and it will all get done. I'm just a stressed out basket case freaking out with 23 days to go. Do you think I should just call my BM's and say hey, I'm drowning here with a to-do list a mile long, can you help me out?? And start giving them things to do to help?? I don't want to sound like a crazy b%$ch but I'm kinda starting to feel that way. My feelings are pretty hurt they aren't offering to help! Please offer some suggestions, if you can to keep this bride to be somewhat sane..............

 

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Re: 23 days & where the hell are my girls??

  • wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    tompkgl said:

    We got engaged in Nov 2012 and are getting married in 23 days. The list of things to do at this point is insane! Thankfully my sister/MOH (who lives out of state)is getting here a week before the wedding to help. I am having a hard time with my bridesmaids. I understand they are all married and have children/jobs/lives, but I honest to God have not asked them to do a thing! I told all 3 of them to pick their own black dress/shoes/hair/makeup, I haven't put any ridiculous restrictions/or financial burden on any of them. As for the ceremony and reception..My fiance and I have done everything! Bridesmaid #1 went shopping with me once, Bridesmaid#2 went dress shopping with me once and then made a huge scene at the bridal shop when we picked out the flower girl dresses.(she was mad she didnt get to pick her daughters dress, but I gave her 6 mos and she hadnt picked one, so to ensure both flower girls dresses matched I picked them out with my other bridesmaid#3/SIL). Bridesmaid #3 is FI sister, she is pregnant with a high risk pregnancy, super busy/active in her community, husband just started a new job on the road, constantly. She is the only one who has offered to help and she is the one who should be taking it easy and taking care of here pregnancy.  I get it. I love these girls! In an instant they would be here if I needed them, that's why I dont understand why none of them have offered to help. It's crunch time!  I had a heart to heart with my FI last night, and he told me WE could do this and he didn't want to see me all stressed out, and he has never missed a deadline on a project, EVER and we could def do this. So I know we can and it will all get done. I'm just a stressed out basket case freaking out with 23 days to go. Do you think I should just call my BM's and say hey, I'm drowning here with a to-do list a mile long, can you help me out?? And start giving them things to do to help?? I don't want to sound like a crazy b%$ch but I'm kinda starting to feel that way. My feelings are pretty hurt they aren't offering to help! Please offer some suggestions, if you can to keep this bride to be somewhat sane..............

     


    You and your FI SHOULD be doing everything, because it's your wedding.  Your WP just needs to show up in their dress.  The only time other people should be helping you is if they offer, and even then you have to be careful as to what they help with (in other words, not asking them to do "too much").  Listen to your FI.  He has assured you that everything will be done, and it will turn out fine!

    Your friends aren't obligated to help you with anything, so your feelings shouldn't be hurt.  Don't ask them.  Again, trust your FI.  The only thing you can ask your BM's about is how the dress hunting is going, because that's their only "job".

    Take a deep breath, relax.  Being so close to the wedding, there's lots of last minute things to do.  But together with your FI, it will all come together!

     

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  • rel1988rel1988 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    Ditto everything wittykitty said. You don't need our permission to ask them for any kind of help, but do you want to? I was in a wedding where the bride expected me to help her with all her 150+ invitations, favors, gf gifts etc. Needless to say we aren't friends anymore, other reason included, but this didn't help.

    I'm a terrible freak out under pressure person so I can only imagine how I'm going to feel in 23 days out. Take a deep breath and try to relax! I have heard from brides that if all the little stuff doesn't get done no one will really notice but you so try and keep that in mind. Good luck!
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  • tompkgltompkgl
    10 Comments

    Thank you for your calming advice. I appreciate it. I am so glad this website is available. It's nice to be able to talk to real brides who know what you're going thru.  I will keep calm, it will all work out..

     

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It's three and a half weeks before their friend's wedding.  They're living their lives.



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  • JillianNJohnJillianNJohn
    100 Comments 25 Love Its

    Im so confused... im getting married the same weekend. FI and I have done EVERYTHING  ourselves. Best man text me today and says he feels aweful that all hes done is his tux fitting and not offered elsewhere. His wife (not in the wedding party) offered to help me do center pieces and it took her up on it bc shes more crafty.

    My MOH has offered to help but really, its not her job!!!!

     

    Their sole job is to show up, wearing what they are supposed to wear and maybe fix your dress as you walk down the aisle. NOTHING ELSE!!!!

     

    We are mostly done planning but like you crunch time has hit so the stress has kicked in, even though like i said most everything is done. we got engaged in Dec 2012 and didnt start planning until last September. I wanted an entire school year to plan. On top of the 23 day count down i have 3 children finishing school (last day of school is 2 days before the wedding), a kinder graduation for 1, AT LEAST 10 field trips between now and then (no joke), my own job, FIs job, surgical consult for 1 of the kids and a ton of other stuff....

     

    Its normal stress.. just take a deep breath!

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  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited May 2013
    tompkgl said:

    Thank you for your calming advice. I appreciate it. I am so glad this website is available. It's nice to be able to talk to real brides who know what you're going thru.  I will keep calm, it will all work out..

     

    Thanks for being a champ at receiving advice! :)
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  • tompkgltompkgl
    10 Comments

    Thanks to you all for your advice!! Maybe I just needed to vent. I don't want or expect my bridal party to stress over details, I just want them to have a good time. But deep down inside I really wish my best friend would be like, hey girl..how are you doing? Are you hanging in there? Wanna get a drink? I really think deep down that's what I need...some girl time. I love my FI and I think planning this wedding has brought us even closer together. But as we all know, we couldnt make thru life without our girls..

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  • bunni727bunni727 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer
    Just remember that if you have been stressed about the wedding, you friends may worry about imposing on your time as it gets closer. If you want to go out for a drink, call your friends and go. You may just need a break from wedding planning (as opposed to help with projects) anyway, even if it's just a few hours.

    Enjoy the rest of your planning!
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  • tompkgltompkgl
    10 Comments

    Thank you!!

     

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