Low RSVP return - In contract with Caterer / Venue for amount of people

d2va · May 2013

This is more of a hypothetical question (as I haven't even chosen a venue yet lol) but Im curious because I see a lot of posts about "b lists".

Lets say your guest list is 200 people, you get in to contract with your venue for 200 people ( or 175, and if over its a pp charge). The will allow you to add more, but will not let you shorten your list.

Now, lets say you receive 125 RSVPS that said yes, and the other 75 declined. In the matter that you have already paid for 200 or 175 (whichever) what is your play here? What would be the correct thing to do? Is this when you look at your "b list" and pretty much say to yourself, "I am already in contract, why wouldn't I try to max the amount of people so that I could have pretty much everyone I know, eat, drink and be merry".

I just think this would make good discussion (if not previously addressed)

!

bunni727 · May 2013

You shouldn't have B-lists. It's crummy to be a second-string invite. You invite all the people you want there and can afford to host, and hope they can make it.

If your venue has a minimum, and your guest list drops below that, you could always ask for an upgrade in another area, so that you are getting something (like extra apps or better liquor) with that money that would have been paying for declined guests.

MoonlightSilver · May 2013

Your venue is looking for you to spend a particular amount of money, not invite a specific number of guests. So if your guest list falls short, you can ask to upgrade the apps or dessert, have more options at dinner, or add on other things to bring the cost equal to as if you had 200 guests.

You do not invite more people. It'd be really rude, since you'd be basically saying "Well I didn't want you at my wedding, but I'm already paying for a dinner, so I might as well get you to show up and eat it."

Kate61487 · May 2013

This is when you call up your caterer and say "we're only having 125 people; I'd like to upgrade our [bar / appetizers / desserts] so we pay you the same amount of money, but get more for the guests who will actually be there"

It's never acceptable to b-list.

lyndausvi · May 2013

Upgrade, upgrade, upgrade. Most places don't care about the number of guests but the dollar amount.

d2va · May 2013

Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Very interesting.

Edit: I also do not have a B list as we plan to invite everyone we want to celebrate the day with us.

daria24 · May 2013

This happened to a friend of mine-she was 15 RSVPs short. She upgraded a few things, and also asked single guests if they wanted to bring a +1.

J+A 2013 · May 2013

Our venue will not let us upgrade if we're under 175 people. So we're paying for 175 adults (meal + drink package) regardless if we have 150 adults and 25 kids (price for kids & drink packages for those under 21 only goes into effect over 175 adults), or some number below 175. In our case, we'd open it up to plus ones for single guests just to fill seats since we're paying for them anyway.

NYCBride2013 · May 2013

My venue will not allow me to make any upgrades to substitute for not making the minimum. I will have to pay for my minimum whether they show up or not. I think it's important to select a venue where you are very confident you will meet the minimum or one that allows for upgrades as PPs have said.

NYCBride2013 · May 2013

Duplicate post! sorry!

NYCBride2013 · May 2013

Duplicate post.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

Not trying to threadjack, I swear! But if you have a lot of "No" RSVPs, telling truly single people they can bring a guest if they want isn't B-listing, right? This is ok? Or is it still rude?

daveANDkristen · May 2013

LMc0322 said:

Not trying to threadjack, I swear! But if you have a lot of "No" RSVPs, telling truly single people they can bring a guest if they want isn't B-listing, right? This is ok? Or is it still rude?

If they are truly single and were not originally invited with a guest, it is fine to extend them a plus one if space allows.

d2va · May 2013

LMc0322 said:

Not trying to threadjack, I swear! But if you have a lot of "No" RSVPs, telling truly single people they can bring a guest if they want isn't B-listing, right? This is ok? Or is it still rude?

Dont worry

the topic/ question was hypothetical, and was meant to spark up conversations, so I would like to hear the answer to your question too!

loca4pook · May 2013

I would probably pick a venue that has slightly LESS minimum than the exact number you need, but can still fit your "high" number, if that makes sense.

Most people don't get 100 percent acceptance rate, so you should make sure you don't get stuck paying for people who don't show (or a dollar amount that doesn't make sense). On the flipside, you should always make sure you have room on the rare occasion that every single person shows up

I agree with others, b-lists aren't cool.

My venue is a dollar amount vs a minimum. that seems more common

wrigleyville · May 2013

loca4pook said:

Most people don't get 100 percent acceptance rate, so you should make sure you don't get stuck paying for people who don't show (or a dollar amount that doesn't make sense). On the flipside, you should always make sure you have room on the rare occasion that every single person shows up.

To add to that, even if a few guests decline, you might have a few show up who didn't RSVP or RSVP'd no and then changed their mind without telling you (surprise!)

Or, you might have people who RSVP "yes" and then don't show up. It sort of balances in the end.

But yes, always ask if you can upgrade if you don't meet the minimum. It's so much easier to go with a place that sets a minimum dollar amount instead of a minimum head count.

Also, ask if any partnered businesses would count toward your minimum. For example, we looked into a restaurant for our reception, and they said if we bought a cake from This Place and got our flowers from That Place, that would count toward our minimum. That can make it much easier.

LizM61409 · May 2013

My venue is a country club that does their own catering. Their minimum dollar amount is what it costs for the package we selected for about 70 people. We're inviting ~120. The space can comfortably seat up to about 150.

When we were about to sign the contract, the number on it was 120, as that's what I had told them our tentative guest list was. But upon further clarification with the catering director, she said whatever number is on the contract is the minimum for the contract and that we would be charged even if we went under, but that we could always add more up until the week before the wedding. Clearly we changed the contract to say 70 and will probably (hopefully!) add more when we get RSVPs.

Just something to think and ask about as you scour over your venue/catering contract!

audreyecu61 · May 2013

I was so glad when I found this site and discovered my internal thought of "B lists are wrong" was the right way to think.

As the other posters have said, upgrade your menu or other services.

Good luck

Amyliz1215 · May 2013

I have been stressing over not making the minimum for our "kind of destination" wedding...never thought of asking for upgrades! Not sure if it is an option but can't hurt to ask, right? Thanks for the idea.

winelover123 · May 2013

We just found a caterer/venue that works with us on numbers. Our minimum is 100 people, but if we end up having less than 100 people in our final count, they charge us differently (can't remember how right now) so that it works to our benefit.

If you your venue isn't flexible, ask for upgrades, ask single guests if they'd like to bring a guest or you just pay the minimum.

Low RSVP return - In contract with Caterer / Venue for amount of people

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