Atheist Wedding

hannahlce · May 2013

Hello there!

My FI and I are both Atheists, however I have a Jewish heritage. Our wedding is a ways off still, but we are gathering ideas on what an atheist wedding might look like.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Has anyone done this?

itzMS · May 2013

In Response to Atheist Wedding:
[QUOTE]Hello there! My FI and I are both Atheists, however I have a Jewish heritage. Our wedding is a ways off still, but we are gathering ideas on what an atheist wedding might look like. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Has anyone done this?
Posted by hannahlce[/QUOTE]

Wouldn't you just have a civil ceremony with an officiant or JOP?

Getting married doesn't require any mention of religion if you don't want to. Look up "non-religious wedding ceremony" on Google and go from there.

daria24 · May 2013

We're both atheists. We got married in PA, where you don't need an officiant, so our wedding rundown was:

Processional

Welcome Greeting (written by us, delivered by Best Man & MOH)

Reading 1 (from Pride & Prejudice)

Reading 2 (quote from John Lennon)

Vows

Ring Exchange

Sand Ceremony

Pronouncement/Kiss

Recessional

Google "non-religious wedding ceremonies". We also found lots of examples on local Unitarian minister sites, as they often are asked to perform nonreligious ceremonies.

If you choose a JOP, usually they have sample ceremonies to choose from.

MrsGandthebeag · May 2013

We had a JOP wedding on the beach and there was no mention of God as neither of us is religious.

NOLAbridealmost · May 2013

We had a JOP wedding in a park.

It went:

Processional

Greet the guests (thanks for coming; gathered here to celebrate the love of these two, etc.)

Statement of intention (the "do you take ____to be your husband, etc"

Recitation of vows

Ring ceremony (she did a short explanation of the history behind the rings before we actually swapped rings)

Blessing for the marriage (like a general "Be good to each other; may your lives be happy" sort of blessing w/ no mention of a higher power)

Pronouncement of husband and wife.

Kiss.

Recessional.

Took about 15-20 minutes.

ChellaTims · May 2013

Have you thought of making one of your wedding colors royal blue or using it for little but important parts of the wedding. Maybe wrapping the bouquet in royal blue/silver/white with a small Star of David charm around the base of the bouquet under the flowers to give honor or in memory of your Jewish heritage/ancestors. I personally would do that because just my personal thoughts but taking the color(s) and Star of David down the aisle with you would be including your heritage in the most important event on your wedding day but in a manner to not draw attention or to make the ceremony seem religious in any sort of way. The other ideas that I could possibly see working, depending on the venue(s), would be including fringe(like the fringe on prayer shawls) maybe on a table runner, chair ties, wedding banners, centerpieces ect and the only other idea I have would be for you and your fh to use a larger version of the beautiful cut glass/crystal or metal Kiddush cup as your toasting glasses. I would love to hear what you do end up doing, if you do anything.

QueerFemme · May 2013

We had a completely non-religious wedding. I'm an atheist/agnostic. My partner is spiritual, but not religious at all.

Our ceremony was short, and the language was about us, with no religious blessings, etc.

I can send you a transcript of the ceremony if you'd like, but basically, just talk to whoever is going to officiate, and work out the language together.

renegade gaucho · May 2013

In Response to Re: Atheist Wedding:
[QUOTE]There is no such thing as an atheist ceremony. There is a civil ceremony, which does not mention God.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This is incorrect, as a couple can choose to include explicitly atheistic content in their ceremony. Many atheists simply refrain from mentioning any type of deity in their ceremonies, but some do actually emphasize the fact that a lack of belief in a god is fundamental to how they live their lives and how they will conduct their marriage.

As far as the order of the ceremony goes, many nonreligious ceremonies have a similar structure to religious ones but use nonreligious words and music. We had our officiant do a reading from John Stuart Mill's "The Subjection of Women" about how a marriage is a partnership of equals and democracy begins at home. I know quite a few people who have included an section of the Massachusetts Supreme Court decision allowing same sex marriage that describes the value of the institution of marriage to civil society. You really have a lot of leeway to craft the ceremony in a way that is personal and meaningful to you.

I would suggest the book "Joining Hands and Hearts". It's focused on wedding ceremonies for interfaith couples, but there are lots of ideas that would be appropriate for a secular or atheist wedding, too.

callmehats · May 2013

Just do a non-athiest wedding, but when god is mentioned the speaker should use air quotes or take a sarcastic tone. Replace religious hymes with Dust in the Wind. That sounds kind of hilarious.

ambie215 · May 2013

daria24 said:

We're both atheists. We got married in PA, where you don't need an officiant, so our wedding rundown was:

Processional
Welcome Greeting (written by us, delivered by Best Man & MOH)
Reading 1 (from Pride & Prejudice)
Reading 2 (quote from John Lennon)
Vows
Ring Exchange
Sand Ceremony
Pronouncement/Kiss
Recessional

Google "non-religious wedding ceremonies". We also found lots of examples on local Unitarian minister sites, as they often are asked to perform nonreligious ceremonies.

If you choose a JOP, usually they have sample ceremonies to choose from.

I've been thinking about doing something like this for ours but was struggling with it! Who did you have do the readings, did someone lead the vows (if so who) and who did the pronouncement?

daria24 · May 2013

ambie215 said:

I've been thinking about doing something like this for ours but was struggling with it! Who did you have do the readings, did someone lead the vows (if so who) and who did the pronouncement?

Our Best Man & MOH read the opening greeting. For the reading I chose, I asked my two best friends to read it. For H's reading, he asked his cousin who he is very close to. We didn't have a WP outside of the BM/MOH BTW.

For the vows, we wrote them separately so we each read off paper. The rings we chose a wording and tried to memorize it and totally screwed it up, but we had a good laugh about it. My sister had the wording on a sheet of paper as back up.

ambie215

whitneyschenck · May 2013

We are both atheist who came from Mormon families. We're having our friend marry us, and we're keeping the ceremony short.

Procession (There is no wedding party. Our dogs are our ring bearers. That's it)

Welcome

Quote

Do you? Do You?

Done!

Our friend will even be holding a Harry Potter book, as I refer to that as the Bible in our household.

Jen4948 · May 2013

That would be incredibly disrepectful to anyone present who does believe in God/is religious.

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