Wedding Etiquette Forum

NER: Over-thinking things again...how to serve the cupcakes?

hordolhordol member
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edited May 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI is currently at bachelor party and will be gone this whole weekend (42 days left till the wedding!) which leaves me sitting at home over-thinking wedding things again, haha. Current dilemma: when you have cupcakes instead of traditional wedding cake, do you still serve it at a specific time? We will have a small round cake at the head table to do the cake cutting thing, but should we just have the cupcakes sitting on the cupcake stand at the back of the reception room and guests just go up and grab them? Or is there a better way to do this? Last wedding I was at was a seated dinner and we were brought the cake by the servers. We will be having a buffet and catering staff, but since the cupcakes are from an outside baker and not the caterer, I don't really know if they would serve them. We will have 3 or 4 different flavors, as well, so it seems to make more sense that we would just have them set out so people can choose. Would people just know to go and start getting cupcakes once we do our cake cutting?

Also...the more I think about it, the more I think I might nix the round cake at the head table and just have cupcakes for everybody. I would honestly be jealous of my guests if I ate the round cake instead because these cupcakes are phenomenal, so this is partially a selfish thing haha. But do you think having the "cake cutting" is important? I don't know how I would do if if we just had cupcakes.

PS: I am not very good at wedding things. I have been to 5 or 6 but paid attention to nothing. I also tend to stress out about stupid things. Help is appreciated. :)
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Re: NER: Over-thinking things again...how to serve the cupcakes?

  • I think this one is all about what your priorities are. We don't like cake, so we aren't having it, thus, no cake cutting. And no one is too heart broken over the whole thing! We are having a "pie stand" instead, with a variety of homemade pies. We'll be letting our guests peruse the table at their leisure and make their pie selections. I think with having multiple cupcake choices, that would be your best bet as well. (Another thought: By serving everyone a cupcake, many might get wasted by those who are not fans of sweets. By letting your guests choose which cupcake and when, you'll have less waste and those with a real sweet tooth will probably be happy to have more than 1!)
  • I think it's perfectly fine to have your guests take the cupcake from the table.  Have a little sign in front of each of the flavors to make the decision easier (or possibly harder!)

    I think you can cut a small, round cake if you want and serve each other.  But why not take the rest of it home afterwards to enjoy?  I wouldn't have the head table eating regular cake while everyone else has cupcakes.

    OR, you could always cut into a cupcake!  Just cut it down the middle and serve each other a half. 
  • hordolhordol member
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    I love the serving half a cupcake idea! :) FI has this problem where he doesn't want to do anything at the wedding that he hasn't seen before, so the round cake was partially for him since he hasn't seen cupcakes at weddings, lol. Did anyone else have a FI like this? I love him dearly, but he really is a creature of habit. ;) I will see if I can talk him out of the round cake.

    I think I will also just have the cupcakes separated by flavor at a dessert table. I'm assuming guests will understand that they could just walk over and take some.
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  • hordol said:
    I love the serving half a cupcake idea! :) FI has this problem where he doesn't want to do anything at the wedding that he hasn't seen before, so the round cake was partially for him since he hasn't seen cupcakes at weddings, lol. Did anyone else have a FI like this? I love him dearly, but he really is a creature of habit. ;) I will see if I can talk him out of the round cake.

    I think I will also just have the cupcakes separated by flavor at a dessert table. I'm assuming guests will understand that they could just walk over and take some.
    I've seen cupcakes a few times.....it's really not that uncommon anymore.  I think cutting into a cupcake is a nice compromise on the standard tradition.

    Once you cut the cupcake, people will take the clue.  If not, have a friend or family member take one from the table....all it takes is one person to walk over and take one and everyone will follow suit.



  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I was at a wedding in August where they served cupcakes. The bride and groom went over to the table where all the cupcakes were, they cut and fed a cupcake to each other, and then they invited all of the guests (who were mostly already there watching) to help themselves. It worked well. Then they had other desserts out as well, at another table.
  • If you are going to have cupcakes sitting out for guests to grab, and you are having several flavors, I would recommend ordering several extra cupcakes, as many guests will take more than one.  

    We had the waitstaff serve cupcakes on trays to each table.  Then, we just placed extra cupcakes out on a table for guests to eat throughout the night.  We still ordered more cupcakes than we had guests, but this prevented people from taking 2 or 3 to try the different flavors.  We ordered 200 cupcakes for about 150 guests, and we had about a dozen left over at the end of the night.
  • We went to the cake table where we had the cupcakes and our small cutting cake, did the cutting, got the pics, my dad made a toast, and I yelled, "Cupcakes!" in my usual way when there are cupcakes available (people expect this from me) and gestured to them. People got up and got one if they wanted one. We had 3 flavors and signs for what the flavors were. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • We had our cupcakes out on a stand and table.  H and I cut a cupcake and fed half to each other.  I assume people helped themselves afterwards.  We had 150 cupcakes (split between 3 flavors) for 100 guests and ended up with maybe 20 to take home afterwards.  We gave a bunch to our friends since we were leaving for our HM the next day and tossed one in the freezer.  We pulled it out and ate it somewhere after our 1 year anniversary and it was still really good.  (H started a new job halfway across the country the weekend after our 1st anniversary so it wasn't at the front of our mind at the time, but we did it one of the first times he came back for a visit before I found a job and moved too).  
  • hordolhordol member
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    Thanks for the advice! How would you recommend I set up the cupcakes? The baker has a big stand we can rent that holds 200 cupcakes, but then obviously they won't be set up by flavor (although I suppose they could still be organized that way and we could tape little signs that indicate which "flavor section" it is.)

    We plan to order 1.5 cupcakes per the number of guests--is was the bakers recommendation, he says it usually leaves 2 dozen or so left over but people are happy to have them the next day.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2013
    We put little signs in silver frames. We had strawberry, lemon, and amaretto. You could see they were kind of sectioned off and it was pretty obvious which were which. Here's how it looked. Ugh. I hate this pic b/c I hated our little cake b/c I failed to get a topper or have some flowers put on it. 
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    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • hordolhordol member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    AddieL73 said:
    We put little signs in silver frames. We had strawberry, lemon, and amaretto. It was pretty obvious which were which. Here's how it looked. Ugh. I hate this pic b/c I hated our little cake b/c I failed to get a topper or have some flowers put on it. 
    image
    Addie, you may hate that pic but I think it's beautiful! I love the signs. Ours will probably look very different as well, so I'll just try to have them organized on the same cupcake stand.
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  • Well,thank you. It's just one of my few wedding regrets. Whoever set the favors up also set them up backwards. You can't see the labels! After the embarrassing amount of time spent trying to find the PERFECT shade of coral, I was so annoyed they got set up backwards!  Hahaha!  So this picture just irks me all around!


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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