Advice for a friend

sunni96 · May 2013

A friend of mine is having her vow renewal which she is super excited about. They were both military and one almost always gone so planning a wedding was never possible for her. They just eloped. Anyways, so she is able to plan now and is having a ceremony and reception like she wanted the first time and has even purchased a beautiful ivory dress. Anyways, all the boards she has been on are horrible about vow renewals and these so called rules. Lol. I thought she was kidding till I looked at them myself. Wow! Unbelievable. Some even say she shouldn't wear a wedding dress bc she isn't a bride. She don't care because she wants to wear her dress but her problem is with the veil. She always imagined a flowing veil in her pictures but every single site she reads says no veil. I told her about our board and said that I would post something and see what you guys think since I believe everyone has been so wonderful and kind on this board. Lol. Many of us here have mentioned going back to Vegas at some point in the future for Vow Renewals. Would you wear a veil? Is it ok for her to? I told her go for it if that's what she wants but I having a feeling she wants the thoughts of more brides. Lol. Thought I would give this a try.

nursing2u · May 2013

I can only speak for me... I just never pictured myself as that long veil type of bride..

But... idk what anyone says... if I wanted to wear one... I WOULD.... period..lol...

If she is concerned with what others say... first she is gonna have a lot of stress with her planning. Lol. We all know this.

But maybe she could have it and when taking pics.. west it in a few photos..you know??!??!.. that's an option

Tell her to have the day SHE WANTS!! they aren't paying.. soooo who cares what they think... lol.. OK that's my 2cents...

sunni96 · May 2013

I agree Nursing. That's a good idea about wearing for just pics if that's what she really wants. I'll tell her right away. See...I knew this board would help. Lol

AllyIdo · May 2013

Two people who have been serving our country never got to have their dream wedding until now... Screw what anyone else says, wear the dress, the veil, whatever they want! Thank them for their service for me and I hope it's a wonderful celebration!

sunni96 · May 2013

That is so sweet allyscud! I will tell her and I'm sure she will really appreciate that.

Kimberlybfpc · May 2013

She should do whatever makes her happy. Why worry about what the anonymous mean knotties on the other boards say. If she's happy, it'll show in both photos and to everyone who's there for their day.

fablove · May 2013

I say wear the veil and who cares what others have to say! There's people who think I shouldn't be wearing a white dress AND veil seeing this is my second marriage but you know what?? I could careless what they think! I didn't have the white dress I dreamed of the first time so you bet your @ss I'm getting everything I want the second time around! LOL

nursing2u · May 2013

Us military vets gotta stick together

sunni96 · May 2013

Thanks everyone. You are so much help! Again, another reason why this board is much better than the others!

missmo14 · May 2013

missax said:

The reason you aren't supposed to wear a veil for renewals is because of the meaning of them. They are a sign of purity and innocence so according to the "rules" you are not supposed to wear them for anything but a first marriage. She can do whatever she wants, it's her vow renewal but if she keeps asking these types of things on other knot boards unfortunately these are the responses she will get.

Oh wow then according to them rules I shouldn't be wearing a veil either hehe. Ive never been married but I have a 5 year old who is not FIs (aint nothing pure or innocent about that). I agree with PP Sunni, it is HER day she should wear what she damn well wants to.

EmiliaC01 · May 2013

Most of us wouldn't, missmo. Haha. Most of us probably don't fit the bill of what was once defined as pure and innocent, yet most of us still wear white for our wedding.
I think the reason for wearing white has evolved... because of its association with weddings and tradition.
She should wear whatever makes her feel beautiful! Congrats to her!

Kimberlybfpc · May 2013

If we were all to go by the 'old fashioned' rules, I bet less than 5% of us should wear white or a veil then.

sunni96 · May 2013

So true so true. When I read that I post I started to think to myself that I'm not so pure myself. No offense missal because I appreciate everyone's opinions but thank goodness times have changed. I really can't wait to see her tomorrow so she can see all this and hopefully wear the veil. I am all for happiness. Lol.

Valeriecruz82 · May 2013

Well I say I go with whatever the heck makes them happy! Who gives a crap what others think haha. And as far as the rules go, this will be my 2nd marriage and I'll be having a veil! Its not about the rules its what makes you Happy!

vegasgroom · May 2013

missax said:

The reason you aren't supposed to wear a veil for renewals is because of the meaning of them. They are a sign of purity and innocence so according to the "rules" you are not supposed to wear them for anything but a first marriage. She can do whatever she wants, it's her vow renewal but if she keeps asking these types of things on other knot boards unfortunately these are the responses she will get.

Lot of people save themselves for marriage these days too... not.

FrankensteinsGirl · May 2013

Veil it up! I didn't wear one because I didn't want one but if she wants to wear a pretty veil with her pretty dress I say do it. The other boards are quite hypocritical and often cruel. Definetely encourage her to avoid them- I think there's a miliary baord, though. They may be able to truly understand her situation and be supportive

vegasgroom · May 2013

FrankensteinsGirl said:

The other boards are quite hypocritical and often cruel.

My favorite post that I've seen on one of the other boards was someone being completely torn apart, then when she says I can't believe how mean you all are, one person replies with something along the lines of "We're trying to keep you from doing something rude to your guests." ROFL, so apparently the best way to prevent someone from being rude is to be incredibly rude. Hopefully none of them ever get a job on a suicide hotline.

wrigleyville · May 2013

If it's a vow renewal and everyone knows she's already married, then I think it's okay. I only have an issue with the ceremony/dress/etc if it's being passed off as a "wedding" and they're already married.

My aunt and uncle renewed their vows on their 25th anniversary, and she held a small bouquet (she wore a nice, lavender dress, and my uncle wore a suit with a boutonniere). Nobody batted an eye.

shaygray88 · May 2013

vegasgroom said:

FrankensteinsGirl said:

The other boards are quite hypocritical and often cruel.

My favorite post that I've seen on one of the other boards was someone being completely torn apart, then when she says I can't believe how mean you all are, one person replies with something along the lines of "We're trying to keep you from doing something rude to your guests." ROFL, so apparently the best way to prevent someone from being rude is to be incredibly rude. Hopefully none of them ever get a job on a suicide hotline.

agreed!

chrisandmeg2013 · May 2013

vegasgroom said:

FrankensteinsGirl said:

The other boards are quite hypocritical and often cruel.

My favorite post that I've seen on one of the other boards was someone being completely torn apart, then when she says I can't believe how mean you all are, one person replies with something along the lines of "We're trying to keep you from doing something rude to your guests." ROFL, so apparently the best way to prevent someone from being rude is to be incredibly rude. Hopefully none of them ever get a job on a suicide hotline.

I use The Knot iphone app frequently (I think it's called Wedding 911), and some of those ladies are just so opinionated and rude! Seriously about the suicide hotline thing! lol

OP - I think your friend should do whatever makes her happy. If she wants to wear a veil and a white dress then she should. Hopefully her family and friends aren't a bunch of stuck up snobs like some of the ladies on other forums.

nursing2u · May 2013

my question is... who has the right to have an "issue" with ANYTHING that somebody else does at THIER wedding... I mean yes.. if you ask for an opinion.. you soo have to be prepared for WHATEVER you get.. but you do you.. and you make you happy...

that's how I feel..lol

wrigleyville · May 2013

I'm okay with someone doing whatever they want as long as it isn't rude. I mean, sure, have a beach wedding if you want, but make sure you have enough chairs for everyone. That sort of thing.

I've learned a lot from the Etiquette board, for what it's worth, even if they can be pretty blunt at times. I think it's just that it's a very busy board with a lot of the same questions and brides who throw an absolute fit when they refuse to justify a rude idea (like not having chairs at a beach wedding). So I know some people on that board are just tired of the temper tantrums. Or, they just don't sugarcoat because really... why? Sometimes, when they answer a question, they're really just answering it, not being rude, but because they don't use eight smilies, people get upset.

I don't know... I guess if you hang out there long enough, you'll see what I mean. I've been active on that board for almost two years, and I really like a lot of the posters (although, a LOT of them are gone now, which stinks because they gave excellent advice).

I figure I'd rather get taken down a notch by the E girls than have my guests thinking I'm rude.

missmo14 · May 2013

Fwiw ive seen constructive posts on the etiquette board but also just plain ol bullying responses. Lets all just be glad we have a great bunch of Vegas brides on this board instead of 'board bashing' others.

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