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Wedding Woes

Cash Registry

My fiance and I don't need any tangible "traditional" gifts and would like to request cash. We have seen matrimoney accounts such as ourwishingwell.com. Has anyone else asking for cash? Have you had a wedding and asked for cash? How did it work for you? Has ayone used ourwishingwell.com or any similar site? Have you had good results/bad results? Have you heard good/bad testimonie? I don't feel that a cash registry is inappropriate since we don't need anything. We don't want our guests purchasing things we really don't need and would not use for the sake of tradition.Thoughts?????
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Re: Cash Registry

  • SteveandKrisSteveandKris member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It is NEVER appropriate to ask for cash.  If you truly do not need anything do not register.  Most of the "cash" and "honeymoon" registries take out a percentage as a fee.  Create a small registry for "upgrades" - check out the sticky at the top of the gifts board if you need ideas.  IF and ONLY IF people ask what you'd like you can mention "we're registered at x, but we're saving for "insert big ticket item" (house, new mattress, whatever) - if you keep the registry small, most people will understand you'd prefer cash.  However, you don't register for cash.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It is rude to ask for cash.  Plain and simple.  Just don't do it.
  • RogueQueenRogueQueen member
    Eighth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I know people who have asked for cash on there invitations, we did not attend their weddings, nor did other people i know who were invited. Why you might ask? because if you are rude enough to ignore etiquette and decency just on the invitation alone then how uncouth must the actually festivities be like? You wedding isn't a fundraiser, keep that in mind. Invite people , be happy they choose to be a part of your special day and be grateful if they choose to provide you with a gift, any gift.
    NerdyLucy
  • edited December 2011

    I think cash registries are incredibly rude. Just register for items that you might want to upgrade in your home, or at Home Depot or somewhere unusual.

  • felicia220felicia220 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Are you talking about for your shower? I only ask because most people give money as a wedding gift and buy off the register for the shower gift.  I thought about doing a honeymoon fund but knew my guest would think it was tacky.  So I am just doing a limited registry and hoping those who do buy off the registry give a gift receipt.  If not and I can't use the item, I will probably donate it.  

    If you do decide to:
    DO NOT use Honeyfund.com, after a guest "buys" the gift a message pops up telling them to bring check or cash to the wedding. 

    In the end you have to do what is right for you, but just keep what your guests might think of you in mind.  
  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have gone to a wedding where they asked for cash and I did not like it at all, It is rude.  Don't do it, upgrade your appliances and keep it short, so your guest gets the hint.  But don't outright ask them. 
  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If someone flat out asked for cash, you can bet I'd be declining and you wouldn't be getting anything at all.  The tactful way to handle this would be to create a small registry -- I know you don't mean much, but there has to be some items that you can upgrade, replace, etc.  Everyone could replace some utensils, get an extra set of sheets, etc etc.  Then through word of mouth, you can communicate that you already have a lot of items and you and your FI are trying to save up for a house/vacation/remodel kitchen/etc etc etc.
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  • edited December 2011
    Asking for cash is seen as inappropriate. Your best bet is to register on a honeymoon site. It lets guests pay for part of your trips, but in reality at the end the website just sends you a big check. Anything regarding gifts at all is not to be stated on the invitation. It may be placed on an insert, or stated on your wedding website, but never on the formal invitation. I wish you luck with this 
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  • Kaytee241Kaytee241 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    While you're not talking about asking for money, registering for money tends to be frowned upon. Also, those kinds of sites tend to charge a fee to your guests on top of their gift, which irks me. If you choose not to register at all, however, you will still probably end up with a lot of gifts you don't want. Why not register at BB&B? Unless their policy has changed, you can return anything from your registry for cash.
  • felicia220felicia220 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I did not know that BB&B did that.  That is really good to know and I am going to check to see if that is still there policy.  I have a feeling that a lot of the people that will buy off the registry will buy from there.  Thanks Kaytee241
  • SarahPLizSarahPLiz member
    10000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Cash registries usually charge a fee, which just wastes your and your guests' money. Don't waste money!
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone above. It is unforgiveably rude to ask for cash!

    Personally, I also want cash!  The best way to deal with this is to register for a few items you will use.  Many people want to buy actual gifts and it's best to give them a little direction! Where you are registered and your preference for cash should also be kept with your bridesmaids and closest family.  They would most likely be the people who are asked "What do we get for so-and-so"? They can then politely give guidance - "So-and-so are registered at XXX" ....
  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_cash-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:ef578755-f25e-4c7b-a874-47bbd075e900Post:5ff95fc2-c43c-4481-a864-387d699da29c">Cash Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>My fiance and I don't need any tangible "traditional" gifts and would like to request cash</strong>. We have seen matrimoney accounts such as ourwishingwell.com. Has anyone else asking for cash? Have you had a wedding and asked for cash? How did it work for you? Has ayone used ourwishingwell.com or any similar site? Have you had good results/bad results? Have you heard good/bad testimonie? I don't feel that a cash registry is inappropriate since we don't need anything. <strong>We don't want our guests purchasing things we really don't need and would not use for the sake of tradition.Thoughts?????</strong>
    Posted by suppahipbride[/QUOTE]

    1. It is <u><em><strong>never</strong></em></u> okay to ASK for cash. Our wishing well is a horrible idea and I can't believe that people are crazy enough to do that.

    2. You can register for things that aren't toasters. Register for books, movies, games, etc that you and your FI like. Surely there are things that could even stand to be upgraded. Maybe your toaster burns your toast or doesn't toast it at all. Get a new toaster then. There's <em>always</em> something you <em>want</em>.

    3. You don't want your guests purchasing you stuff you don't like. No crap, right?

    Don't register at all if you "have everything." This includes no cash registries. Pass the word via close friends and family that you'd prefer cash these days. Then hope for the best. If there isn't a registry, people will likely take a hint and write a check.

  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This idea is neither "suppa" (which would be supper, not super, ps.) nor "hip."

    Please don't do it, as a guest I would end up either declining your wedding or going and not getting you any gift at all.
  • edited December 2011
    WOW!!!!!!!!! What a response. I actually have gone to weddings where the bride and groom registered for cas and I didnt mind. I will definitely re-think this one. I am still suppahip, you know. ;P
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  • I think this is craziness. Times have changed. People live together for years before getting married. People live in one country and get married in another. Why stick to a tradition that hardly applies, and why hold it against someone who is just trying to be practical and not force you, as their guest, to waste your money on something they don't need? In Europe it's standard that they give money, and there's nothing tacky about it. And you don't have to be all secretive about it. Of course I see the point about cash registries taking a percentage, and I agree that's icky. But what is so wrong with letting people they can give a check and explaining what it would be used towards? It's super unfair and judgemental to refuse to go to someone's wedding just because they asked for cash. I would never do that. A person's wedding is about them starting their new life and them asking you to share it with them. Their wedding is not about you. Get off your high horses. 
    aimes8609Lilbitipeachknottieb34d92eaf73c1f00
  • Where in the hell did all of these people come from?

    *checking bottom of post*

    6fsnbaconsmom
  • Hahahahaha...holy schite!  Laurenlila, you realize this post is over 2 years old, girl?!  How much you have been reading?
    DixieNormous330mrsconn23
  • I love that the knut reformatted to showing the newest post first, no matter the age of the thread.  I'm sure we've missed a lot of this stuff before now. 
  • I think this is craziness. Times have changed. People live together for years before getting married. People live in one country and get married in another. Why stick to a tradition that hardly applies, and why hold it against someone who is just trying to be practical and not force you, as their guest, to waste your money on something they don't need? In Europe it's standard that they give money, and there's nothing tacky about it. And you don't have to be all secretive about it. Of course I see the point about cash registries taking a percentage, and I agree that's icky. But what is so wrong with letting people they can give a check and explaining what it would be used towards? It's super unfair and judgemental to refuse to go to someone's wedding just because they asked for cash. I would never do that. A person's wedding is about them starting their new life and them asking you to share it with them. Their wedding is not about you. Get off your high horses. 

    If people have lived on their own long enough that they don't need to register for household items, then they don't need to solicit gifts at all.
    image
    NerdyLucy
  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I think this is craziness. Times have changed. People live together for years before getting married. People live in one country and get married in another. Why stick to a tradition that hardly applies, and why hold it against someone who is just trying to be practical and not force you, as their guest, to waste your money on something they don't need? In Europe it's standard that they give money, and there's nothing tacky about it. And you don't have to be all secretive about it. Of course I see the point about cash registries taking a percentage, and I agree that's icky. But what is so wrong with letting people they can give a check and explaining what it would be used towards? It's super unfair and judgemental to refuse to go to someone's wedding just because they asked for cash. I would never do that. A person's wedding is about them starting their new life and them asking you to share it with them. Their wedding is not about you. Get off your high horses. 

    If people have lived on their own long enough that they don't need to register for household items, then they don't need to solicit gifts at all.
    I agree.  If I had everything (which I don't - in desperate need of many household things) I would just have "no gifts, just your fine presence" somewhere on my website.  If this person from 3 years ago is so very blessed to have everything, there isn't really any need to ask for money either.  I don't understand why people don't realize that this is an option.  Just because gifts are "traditionally" given at a wedding, doesn't mean you can't break with tradition and tell people they don't need to bring any gifts!
    imageimage
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