Stress

snharring · May 2013

Well I am 17 days away from my big day. I am stressed to the max and to make it worse PMSing! I am having a hard time keeping my stress levels down. I am snapping at my fiance, and breaking out like crazy.

Everyone keeps telling me to delegate my to do list and to relax but I feel like I want my day to run/look a certain way and no one knows that better than myself. People tell me to not take things so seriously and that as long as my fiance and I get married at the end of the day, then that's all that matters. While I agree with them, I can't help but get even more frustrated and flustered with people. I know they are trying to help but they are making me feel worse.

Can anyone relate? Anyone have any tips on how to "relax"?

Melokiel · May 2013

I know I've rolled my eyes at some well meaning people. Look at your to do lists and (honestly) ask yourself these questions-

1. Will anyone else notice if this doesn't happen?

2. Will anyone honestly remember if it does happen?

3. 10 years down the road would this matter? And would I want to have pictures of it?

For instance, I wanted to make a cute sign for the candy table in additional to all the labels I'm making for it. After going through the list this didn't make the cut.

erinlin25 · May 2013

Take a day off from wedding planning. Go do something for yourself not wedding related. Get a mani/pedi or take a hot bath and try to relax. You and FI can go on date night, or just cook a nice dinner at home and do not talk about the wedding. If its stressing you out you are doing it wrong. As soon as I start to feel overwhelmed, I just stop and take a break from it. I know its easier said than done, but you want to enjoy this time. agree with PP above--ask yourselves those questions and if you answer No, it is not necessary to worry about.

I look back at weddings I've been to and do I remember what I ate, or what my escort card looked like, what the flowers/centerpieces looked like or if we got a favor? Nope. Could not tell you anything like that. But I always do remember how much fun I had celebrating with friends. If your guests have seats and good food that is all that matters. I'm sure you are fine and everyone will have a great time.

Mikesgal419 · May 2013

A co worker of mine keeps asking me if I'm okay. When I asked her why, she said I just look completely stressed. OH! That helps. -_- I am a stress mess. I am the same way with planning. I know how I want things to look and I don't think anyone else can do it. AND add to the wedding stress, my big toe nail is falling off!!!! AND I have open toe shoes!!! It was injured back in Feb and the Dr. said that i would keep the nail. WRONG!!! And less than 3 weeks before the wedding. Thank God that FI isn't in love with my feet.

I can't wait til everything is done and we can relax.

lodonnell616 · May 2013

Understand completely, though I've taken the following (rational) approach: I've hired professionals and all of the major stuff is in order, the rest of the stuff going on now is just "nice to have".

That said, everyone wants their day to be perfect, so I can totally relate.

I went for an 80 minute massage last night--I can highly recommend that to relax.

Sassenach1743 · May 2013

I hear you! And, honestly, am relieved that someone else is in the same boat...

I had a moment this morning when I came back on the boards (after a few days away) and got frustrated with the new layout, etc. And in a move unlike my usual, I posted a very irrational rant to The Knot Gods. For which I was promptly ripped a new one by the regs on the Chit Chat board, no doubt a few of you saw the wreckage.

I've since reread my op and have totally owned up to posting my outburst, but am still blown away by how nasty some of the responses I got were even after I owned up to my behavior. I stated that my stress levels were a bit higher than normal due to being 3 weeks from my wedding. I was then told that I needed therapy and that no one else on the boards was stressed before their wedding. Geez Louise! And I thought this was the place to come to vent if I needed to....

I'm glad to come back to my month board to see that I am not alone.

OP you are not alone either. I totally relate. I am going to the spa all day tomorrow for my bachelorette party with just my MOH for a private day to truly relax without a bunch of fuss or bother. I hope you have a chance to do something similar.

And thank you so much for posting this! And also, thank you to the suggestions posted by others... especially those questions regarding the to-do list.

It's funny, I haven't been stressed out over planning this whole year since I started until now! I'm trying to roll with it and am pretty sure that I've got everything covered but seriously, we're only human and this is a big day that really matters so the stress seems normal -however uncomfortable it may be.

CnSinLOVE · May 2013

@brita722 your post really made me happy and honestly in the past few months I have pretty much stuck to this board since I was told my fiancé and I need financial counseling after posting a vent on the chit chat board.

I was upset at him in the moment and just needed to vent, it was late at night so I didn't want to bother my family or friends and frankly it wasn't a big enough deal to bring them into it. I, like you, felt like TK was a place where we could come and be crazy brides from time to time amongst fellow brides!! I was upset that my fiancé and I had made a deal to cut back on our spending, but I felt I was the only one doing so and just needed to vent. I was then promptly told by several regs that we needed to seek financially counseling!!! First of all I was just wanting to vent, I was not seeking opinions! And I know they have every right to post whatever they want, but there's no need to be so quick to judge without having all the facts. I was extremely bothered by all the posts basically telling us if we couldn't get our finances in order now we weren't going to make it!! Seriously??!! Who are these strangers judging me based on one post!!?? Finally one reg chimed in and basically stood up for me and said it wasn't that seriously probably referring to cutting back on Starbucks and magazines, not some serious matter!! I was so thankful for her understanding, but could not believe how the others had reacted! I've pretty much stuck to the June 2013 board since!!

Basically my point is we all handle stress differently and while others can give advice on the best way for us to handle it no one else really knows what might help! We should all be supportive of each other because no one knows better than a fellow bride what we're really going through!

My hope for all of my fellow June 2013 brides is the least amount of stress possible in these final weeks of planning!! We all know it's going to be there in some form or another in this final planning and I am so glad that I feel like I can count on you ladies for some support when we need it most!!! And I really hope everyone else feels the same

Sassenach1743 · May 2013

@CnSinLOVE your post just made me happy too! And I'm in complete agreement with you about sticking to this board (June 2013 brides) from now on. I've been dealing with too much stress lately and can feel the difference in my general well being, so all I seek is support from now on. This board seems to be the only safe zone because all of us are at the same point in our planning and will be getting married very soon.

CnSinLOVE · May 2013

@brita722 you are so right! I LOVE our little safe haven among fellow June friends

ashley14598 · June 2013

Oh my girls! You are all making me feel so much better!!!! I'm moving in with my fiancé today (I have never lived with a guy before) and we are only 20 days away from the wedding. I am freaking out! My mom keeps sending me messages with "stuff to do" and I appreciate her help a ton but I'm getting so over whelmed! I can't see straight I know this is supposed to be fun and it is fun but my nerves are making me a nervous wreck I can't handle all this. Sometimes when I read these boards I feel even worse so I'm glad I came to place that makes me feel better and safe! I have recently been diagnosed with ibs ... It gets worse when your stressed and the last two days it has been spiking! I know my FI is perfect for me and I can't imagine my life without him but the worries and stress of everyday life, moving stress, and wedding stress are piling up quicker than I can even prepare for them! Wow I actually feel better getting all this out

thanks girls I now know where to turn to find others that are going through it and understand

DJL13 · June 2013

19 days left here:) And I am freaking out...I try to remain calm but not easy I am breaking out, pmsing too and I just hope wedding goes good... My soon to be mother in law is a pain in the butt and drives us nuts..So glad I have my mom to listen to me:) It will all be over soon and work out nicely:)

lodonnell616 · June 2013

Seriously, the only things that went wrong on June 1 for me were things that not a single guest would have noticed so please don't stress!!! While I know its difficult and I didn't start doing it until about 9 days before my wedding, when people offer to help...think of ways to delegate. I helps so much to get little things, no matter how small off your 'to do' list.

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