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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Future stepsons & Ceremony

I wanted to include my 2 new stepsons 5 & 12 (Dad was in a lot of relationships before me) in the ceremony after me and my FI say our vows. To let them know that they are just as important to me as their Dad and that we are going to be a family. I also have bracelets for them with the wedding date and their name.
Any ideas on what should be said during that part, or if this is a good idea at all?

Re: Future stepsons & Ceremony

  • I have been raising my niece (13) and nephew (10) for the last 6 years. My fiance and I both feel that it is important to have both of them in the ceremony so we have opted to have them stand with us as if they were junior bridal party members but to also have them present us with our wedding bands when it is time for us to exchange rings. That's all that we plan to do as of right now.
  • Please don't. A marriage is between two consenting adults. Children should never say vows or have any said to them. Give them gifts before/after, sure. But maybe also include something they actually currently enjoy, like a toy. I don't know any boys who would like having a bracelet, particularly one with their dad and stepmom's wedding date.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Honestly, would the boys even wear bracelets? Especially ones with their dad's wedding date on it?


    You should definitely ask the boys' mother(s) for permission to do this if you insist. If I were the mother, I would be absolutely livid if you had my child say vows with you. It's not even remotely appropriate.
  • In Response to Re:Future stepsons :[QUOTE]Honestly, would the boys even wear bracelets? Especially ones with their dad's wedding date on it?You should definitely ask the boys' mothers for permission to do this if you insist. If I were the mother, I would be absolutelynbsp;livid if you had my child say vows with you. It's not even remotely appropriate. Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE] All of this.
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  • It would be nice if they were your FI's best men.  One of them could hand each of you your ring to give to the other.  Or you could have the 5 year old be the ring bearer, and ask the 12 year old if he would feel comfortable doing a reading.  But they shouldn't be involved in the ceremony beyond that- it's really inappropriate.  And I am struggling to picture a bracelet a little boy would be excited about.  If you want to make them feel part of the day, maybe invite some of their friends to the wedding too? Take them cake tasting?
  • KDM323KDM323 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I'd include them as groomsmen and perhaps give them a present before or after the ceremony...but I think including them in the ceremony is a bad idea.  You aren't marrying the children, you are marrying your fiancee. 

    I can appreciate the sentiment...but I just don't think it is a good idea.
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