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i hate my ring!

kabilez13kabilez13
in Snarky Brides
so i'm not technically engaged yet, but everything is very official. my boyfriend custom designed the ring and it's taken way longer than expected. he's waiting until he has it to propose apparently....we looked at a ton of rings together and i made sure he had a good idea of what i liked so he would know what to design. the specific things i wanted was an oval diamond, a halo, and rose gold. well i was looking for something on his phone the other day and accidentally found pictures of the ring on it. i didn't look very closely, but it is awful!! i got the oval ring and rose gold, but everything else is SO not me!! what the heck?! he knew what i wanted and totally went with what he thought would be cool. doesn't he know that i have to wear it for the rest of my life?! i'm stressing out and so worried about how i'm supposed to react when i "see it for the first time" when he proposes. i'm already thinking about how we can fix it or sell it to get a different one! i feel so bad! he thinks it's so great but i hate it! any advice?!?!?
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Re: i hate my ring!

  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Maybe that's not your ring.  It could be another one he was looking at.
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    well, you could go to him and say "I was totally snooping on your phone and saw a photo of a ring. is that my ring, cuz I hate it".

    Your options are pretty limited here.

    image

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  • Jessa617 Jessa617 member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    so i'm not technically engaged yet, but everything is very official. my boyfriend custom designed the ring and it's taken way longer than expected. he's waiting until he has it to propose apparently....we looked at a ton of rings together and i made sure he had a good idea of what i liked so he would know what to design. the specific things i wanted was an oval diamond, a halo, and rose gold. well i was looking for something on his phone the other day and accidentally found pictures of the ring on it. i didn't look very closely, but it is awful!! i got the oval ring and rose gold, but everything else is SO not me!! what the heck?! he knew what i wanted and totally went with what he thought would be cool. doesn't he know that i have to wear it for the rest of my life?! i'm stressing out and so worried about how i'm supposed to react when i "see it for the first time" when he proposes. i'm already thinking about how we can fix it or sell it to get a different one! i feel so bad! he thinks it's so great but i hate it! any advice?!?!?
    Yea your options are pretty limited here. Admit to your bf that you were snooping around on his phone and tell him you don't like that ring and won't wear it... OR... you can be grateful that he's putting time into a CUSTOM design. A ring is not to look pretty, there's actually a symbolic meaning to the ring and you should be happy with whatever you get.
    Anniversary
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  • rel1988rel1988 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    Maybe he would know you were going to snoop so he put it on there to throw you off?
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I'm suspicious.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker

    I have a similar story from the first time we got engaged.

    So I had looked FOREVER at rings before my ex proposed. So one night he told me he had gone to look and told me about a ring he had seen at my favorite jewler. After he was done describing the ring to me I tell him very clearly "No, I HATE that ring" and he turns bright red. Turns out he had bought it for me. We went back to the jeweler that night to exchanged it for something I liked. I ended up giving it back like less than two months later and called of the engagement. But that has no bearing on the ring. It just wasnt right for me.

     

    Anniversary
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Just wait until you get it. If you look at his phone often, it might be a trick. Also, he could have just photographed a possible ring and send the photo to a friend for a second opinion. 

    How bad is it? You said the stone was the right shape and the metal was right, too. Those are the 2 most important things. What additional aspects are throwing you off? Could you hold out until you go for your wedding bands and say if you just make these little changes it would look perfect with the band? 
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Agree with PP's but mainly just wanted to say "Hi Jackie!"
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  • hordolhordol member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    I wouldn't worry about it too much until you actually get the ring, it honestly might just be one of the ones he was thinking about getting. If the color and stone are what you like, then what part of the ring is atrocious? If it is your ring, I bet it might grow on you over time (I definitely love mine more and more everyday.) Otherwise if it really is that hideous, I think you should be honest with your bf that it's not your style. I was lucky in the sense that we picked mine out together so obviously I loved it right away, but if he had surprised me with something I didn't like I would have been honest. Think of a way to say it nicely, though. Idk, I just disagree with the idea that you need to pretend you like it to spare his feelings. If you have a strong, healthy relationship you should be able to be honest with him about anything, including this.

    Also, since you told him exactly what you wanted I'm sure he tried his best to get that for you. Just wait until he proposes to worry anymore about it.
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  • KDM323KDM323 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    If it is rose gold & an oval stone...what else could be wrong with it?  Are there diamonds on the band or something that you don't like?


    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2013
    hordol said:
    I wouldn't worry about it too much until you actually get the ring, it honestly might just be one of the ones he was thinking about getting. If the color and stone are what you like, then what part of the ring is atrocious? If it is your ring, I bet it might grow on you over time (I definitely love mine more and more everyday.) Otherwise if it really is that hideous, I think you should be honest with your bf that it's not your style. I was lucky in the sense that we picked mine out together so obviously I loved it right away, but if he had surprised me with something I didn't like I would have been honest. Think of a way to say it nicely, though. Idk, I just disagree with the idea that you need to pretend you like it to spare his feelings. If you have a strong, healthy relationship you should be able to be honest with him about anything, including this.

    Also, since you told him exactly what you wanted I'm sure he tried his best to get that for you. Just wait until he proposes to worry anymore about it.
    That's easier said than done.  I had that conversation because we have an honest relationship, and I felt, and still feel, like a complete jerk about it.  It was not a pleasant conversation, and I still feel bad about it even though I did everything to spare his feelings, even trying to let the e-ring grow on me at first.  And I told him exactly what ring I wanted as well, and he didn't really take it into account.  But I agree that OP should wait until the proposal to see if it is indeed the ring he is giving her, and if it is, bring it up when it is a good time (probably not two seconds after the proposal, but don't wait too long like I did trying to "let it grow" on you.  It doesn't always grow on you, believe me). 

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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    How do you know that's the ring?

    If it's been ordered and work has been done on it, there may not be going back on it. What do you want to do about it? Do you want to ask him if that's your ring? If it is, do you want to tell him you hate it? 

    I wouldn't have chosen the ring I was given which was his mother's. I would never tell him that as it would hurt his feelings immensely. It came with a band that everyone thought I decided to replace with a different one that made it more of my taste and made it so that I wasn't just wearing her rings.
    image   imageimage
    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • mc4dj13mc4dj13 member
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think that you are getting ahead of yourself if you are thinking of ways to change the ring or sell it. I felt blessed to get the ring I was proposed to with. My fiance fooled me because we had already planned to go shopping for rings together when he surprised me with a ring he had had all along. 

    Don't stress it over, maybe it is a decoy ring

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    i really wouldn't worry about it! as much as its about the ring, its not. the love you two have for eachother and the lasting relationship you have built, is what really matters!  If that ring does turn out to be yours, you will grow to love it because your soon to be fiance designed it especially for you.
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