Pre-wedding Parties

Bridesmaid Lunch / Girls night out

I was planning on having a Bridesmaid Lunch for my girls.  Just so everyone can get to know eachother before all the wedding process begins.  I was going to do it this August since one of my girls is from out of town.  This would be a little over a year before our wedding day.

Is this normal to have one like this or does this come later on? 

Re: Bridesmaid Lunch / Girls night out

  • Bridesmaids lunches, sometimes called Bridesmaids brunches are popular in my circle the week of the wedding. There is zero reason they need to get to know each other, especially a year before the wedding. My friend had several bridal party get togethers during the course if their engagement. It worked out okay for us, but please keep in mind that we're the exception, not the rule. And our situation wasn't without some drama.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    In Response to Re:Bridesmaid Lunch / Girls night out:
    [QUOTE]Well i never said anything about giving out tasks. I just wanted them all to meet and have a great time. Not everyone knows eachother.
    Posted by Princessgia07[/QUOTE]

    Right, but a forced get together not so subtly implies that you want them to know each other so they can plan your bridal shower and bachelorette, etc. At least in my circle, if the bride wants her bridesmaids to "get together" or "meet" that's your cue as a bridesmaid that she wants all of you to "know" each other so you can plan stuff for her or divvy out wedding tasks.

    Would you get this group of people together for any reason other than the fact that it's your wedding? No? There's your answer. No need to force friendships or meet & greets.
  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I was a BM in my best friend's wedding. We had known each other since middle school. Some of the girls in her wedding party were friends from college that I didn't know because she went to college kind of far away. I would have appreciated something like this so that I would at least know who the other girls were before her bridal shower and bachelorette party.
  • Thank you for everyone's input.  I've just been in a ton of weddings family and friends and by the time the shower hits you still feel awkward if you dont know anyone or at least a few other people.  I'm kinda on the shy side and for some of these it would have been nice to know everyone and make it more enjoyable.  Most of my friends know eachother obvioulsy.  But my cousins do not really know anyone because with families of their own its hard to get out.  One of my bridesmaids who is from out of town is my FH best friend.  She doesnt know anyone and being 4 hours away she wont be always around to get together when we do have get togethers and bbq's with everyone.  So when she's in town I wanted to do something.  This is the main reason.  To celebrate my girls and Thank them for being a part of our wedding day.  When i said before the wedding crazyness starts.  I meant before i start the hard core planning not Them.  My MOH has everything under control.  LOL
  • This sounds more like a casual get to know you lunch. I think it is a great idea. These girls are going to be helping you out with a lot of planning. The more they know each other and get along the smoother it will be.
  • This is just certainly a perfect idea and much better to make your bridesmaid close and less awkward when the wedding comes and they don't know each other then. So don't worry about it because my best friend who's about to get married next first month of next year got the same idea too for her and her husband-to-be groomsmen a get together too.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I personally don't see the need for them to "get to know each other."  What's awkward? They show up, smile, walk down an aisle. No need to be chummy to do that. 

    And as for "these girls are going to be helping you out with a lot of planning," that's not necessarily true. Bridesmaids are not responsible to help plan a bride and groom's wedding. My bridesmaids were my 2 best friends in the world. We hang out together all the time, but the 3 of us didn't do a single thing together for my wedding other than shop for dresses and attend my bachelorette party and rehearsal/dinner. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • I'm always shocked by the amount of push back everybody gets by just suggesting that the bridesmaids might want to help with the planning and crafts and throwing parties. I know they don't have to, but a lot of them want to! In fact, my MOH and BMs have told me they want me to give them more  to do! Now as it happens, all my girls know eachother. But if they didn't, what a nice gesture to take everyone out for lunch! 
    There's not always a big bridezilla ulterior motive, ladies! Honestly!
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary

    Even if the bridal party wants (I use that term loosely) to do "crafts", it really is up to the bride and groom to handle anything for their own wedding.

    I have no idea what planning tasks I would have even given my bridesmaids to do if they asked. My DH and I handled everything because it was our responsibility. Most often, bridal parties are filled with working adults with busy lives. Asking them to fill their schedules up with unnecessary things related to your wedding is just silly. Personally, when in a wedding party, I don't need to get to know other bridesmaids or do crafts/planning to be there to support my friend on her wedding day.

  • If it sounds like this would be something they would like to do then there is no harm setting something up-- just do not require them to attend, and do not get upset if they do not want to come.

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