How much is too much to ask?

erinlrauh · May 2013

I am having a western theme wedding and i want the groomsmen in western style suits and boots. The problem is, we were going to buy the guys hats as their gifts, but it occurred to me that since we may not be able to rent boots, and having non-broken in boots would be painful for them on the day of, can i ask the guys to buy boots and rent the suits too? How much is too much to ask them to pay? And separately, anyone know a good place to rent western wear suits/tuxes in Sacramento, CA? I'd rather not order online since the rentals can't be altered. Help!!

P.S.-Still have a year, but i am a research junkie, so thanks for indulging me.

brielleinlove · May 2013

Your FI should be the one dictating the way the groomsmen dress. Was this his idea or yours?

Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable asking the groomsmen to buy cowboy boots for a wedding. They are expensive and the likelihood that these guys will wear them again is low unless they wear that kind of attire in their everyday life. If the groomsmen already own cowboy boots, that would be a different story.

For the rental question, I'd consult your local board.

erinlrauh · May 2013

It was my idea, but my guy wouldn't be comfortable in any other attire, i got me a country boy, as are most of his groomsmen. Maybe wearing their own boots would work, though uniform is my personal preference. I will have to see what they already have, I definitely don't want to ask these guys to over spend. Thanks for the thought :-)

brielleinlove · May 2013

Ah, gotcha. Yeah, I'd be inclined to let them wear their own boots.

Viczaesar · May 2013

Can't quote and reply for some stupid reason.

You cannot ask them to buy boots for your wedding. Footwear requirements are on you to pay. You can either buy boots for the guys who don't have them and let the guys who do wear their own, or you can let them wear boots if they have them and assume that the others don't own boots because they don't want to own boots, and let them wear whatever shoes they want. Not everybody finds boots comfortable.

Hats to wear in your wedding do not count as an attendant's gift. The same goes for boots, if you end up buying boots for them, or jewelry for your bridesmaids, or whatever. Things to be used for your wedding are part of the uniform and part of your vision for your wedding. They are not gifts for them.

Viczaesar · May 2013

erinlrauh said:

I am having a western theme wedding and i want the groomsmen in western style suits and boots. The problem is, we were going to buy the guys hats as their gifts, but it occurred to me that since we may not be able to rent boots, and having non-broken in boots would be painful for them on the day of, can i ask the guys to buy boots and rent the suits too? How much is too much to ask them to pay? And separately, anyone know a good place to rent western wear suits/tuxes in Sacramento, CA? I'd rather not order online since the rentals can't be altered. Help!!

P.S.-Still have a year, but i am a research junkie, so thanks for indulging me.

JIC.

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Since cowboy boots cost as much as the suit rentals? No. You'll get a big ol country eyeroll for that.

QueerFemme · May 2013

Suit rentals cost almost as much as buying a suit, most of the time. Asking them to buy a suit and boots and your gift to them is a hat for them to wear as a prop in your wedding is way to much to ask.

artbyallie · May 2013

If they don't have boots, don't ask them to wear them. People who don't already own cowboy boots are unlikely to wear them again, and they are expensive.

ETA: My cousin actually did wear a western-style suit and cowboy boots in my wedding. He already owned the latter, and his mother bought him the former because he did not yet own a suit being fresh out of high school. None of the other groomsmen wore them, but I assured him it was okay to wear whatever he wanted as long as the suit was a dark color.

kerbohl · May 2013

erinlrauh said:

It was my idea, but my guy wouldn't be comfortable in any other attire, i got me a country boy, as are most of his groomsmen. Maybe wearing their own boots would work, though uniform is my personal preference. I will have to see what they already have, I definitely don't want to ask these guys to over spend. Thanks for the thought :-)

I think, IMO, if they are all wearing cowboy boots, that will look uniform enough, even if they aren't the same colour. Cowboy boots are pretty unique looking. So see if they all already own a pair and go from there!

itzMS · May 2013

#1, How is a Western style suit different than a regular suit? If it's something that likely won't be worn again, you need to purchase it for the groomsmen.

#2, My DH just told his groomsmen to wear whatever black shoe they were comfortable in. Two of the guys showed up in their boots, the other 3 wore some type of dress shoe. You can't tell the difference in pictures.

#3, Are all of them comfortable in hats? My DH hates hats because they make him self conscious, so I'd be careful with that one too.

MyNameIsNot · May 2013

You set the budget by having your FI ask each GM privately and individually for a budget for attire. The lowest number he gets is the maximum price for a suit.

If you require specific shoes, you pay for them. This is not a gift to them. This is part of your wedding budget. A hat to be worn in the wedding is also not a gift to them.

The same rules apply to your bridesmaids as well.

theretamaragoes · May 2013

If you are REQUIRING boots, I would say that you need to do one of the following::

1. Find a place where they can rent them for a reasonable fee.

2. Provide them yourself.

3. Allow them to wear their own boots (even if they don't all totally match).

Best of luck!

Ajuliana · May 2013

I'm sorry...I live in Sac, and all the cowboys I know were left at home in the Central Valley. Does your FI farm or just chew tobacco and like country music?

My FI grew up on a farm but hates country music and western wear, but was handling a 100 acre ranch by himself in high school. I have a few pairs of boots that I rarely wore and like to go to expensive fundraisers, but you can bet your backside I can handle a cow and a Ford 550 with a 24 foot trailer like nobody's business. If we are not having a country wedding, I am feeling nosy enough to know how "cowboy" he is in this non-rural area.

How much is too much to ask?

Re: How much is too much to ask?

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