Bridesmaidzilla...

CheleLyn · May 2013

This Bm is my friend of 26 years. She is becoming unbearable...complaining about her dress, choosing a different dress (fine, you're buying it, keep it black), not supportive of my dress choice (right on the edge of insulting me, and btw, EVERYONE else LOVES my dress and since FMIL is paying for it I took her opinion into consideration and we just both happen to love it), insulting the bouquet choice for the Bms and insisting hers be the flower she likes, she has started complaining about her overall cost to be in the wedding which I have taken into consideration and have gone out of my way to help defray some of her cost. and the most shocking...(she wears dentures --we are both 41yo) Don't be surprised if I take my teeth out to eat bc I eat better without them.

Seriously, what do I do??? Is there a polite way to say "You are making me f'n crazy! Either knock it the hell off or you're out!" Jason is right on the edge of calling her himself and just telling her to bite it and don't come to the wedding at all. This is really the only stress I've been having. I love her, but the comments she makes and her little demands are wearing on me and as much as I want her here for the wedding, I'm almost at my wits end....and the wedding isn't even til June 2014 and I don;t know if I can deal with it for a whole year *sigh*

NOLAbridealmost · May 2013

CheleLyn said:

This Bm is my friend of 26 years. She is becoming unbearable...complaining about her dress, choosing a different dress (fine, you're buying it, keep it black), not supportive of my dress choice (right on the edge of insulting me, and btw, EVERYONE else LOVES my dress and since FMIL is paying for it I took her opinion into consideration and we just both happen to love it), insulting the bouquet choice for the Bms and insisting hers be the flower she likes, she has started complaining about her overall cost to be in the wedding which I have taken into consideration and have gone out of my way to help defray some of her cost. and the most shocking...(she wears dentures --we are both 41yo) Don't be surprised if I take my teeth out to eat bc I eat better without them.

Seriously, what do I do??? Is there a polite way to say "You are making me f'n crazy! Either knock it the hell off or you're out!" Jason is right on the edge of calling her himself and just telling her to bite it and don't come to the wedding at all. This is really the only stress I've been having. I love her, but the comments she makes and her little demands are wearing on me and as much as I want her here for the wedding, I'm almost at my wits end....and the wedding isn't even til June 2014 and I don;t know if I can deal with it for a whole year *sigh*

I'd just like to say that it's none of your business if she removes her dentures to eat her food. And, no, your husband can't call and tell her to "bite it" (not that she could anyway....) without ending your friendship with her. Stop talking about wedding related stuff until you get closer to the wedding. You shouldn't have even asked people to be in your WP this far out, but that ship has sailed. Her only job is to buy the dress you want her to wear and show up on the wedding day. If she can't do that, she has removed herself from the wedding party and you're free of her. Your only other option is ending your fried ship entirely.

Salsera29 · May 2013

Stop talking to her about your wedding. If she is not involved, she can't criticize.

AddieCake · May 2013

Ditto PPs. The dentures thing was not necessary to include in your rant, for sure. Who cares about that?

Stop talking to her about wedding stuff.

CheleLyn · May 2013

The wedding party was already chosen bc the wedding was originally supposed to be this July. Near the end of January it was necessary to postpone. Like I said, she is my friend of 26 years, my closest friend. She was the first I told when Jason and I got engaged.

As for her dress, I took into consideration what she didn't want which was strapless and keep it flattering for her shape. She originally agreed on the a-line, knee length, chiffon halter style I chose, but has since decided she wants a more expensive high-lo strapless. I said fine, if she is buying it then keep it black and get what you want.

The issue of her teeth became my business when she told me she'd be taking them out. I just keep getting this vision of her taking them out and slapping them down on the bridal table.

I suppose the best thing is just to not talk about it to her anymore. There are a lot of demands she has been making, and I feel like I have gone out of my way to accommodate her. Unfortunately, it feels like that just encourages her.

AddieCake · May 2013

I would just hate to see a 26-year friendship ended when you tell her she can't take her teeth out. But I confess I'd kind of like to be a fly on that wall to witness that go down.

CheleLyn · May 2013

LOL, I get it about the teeth and I'm sure she can do it discreetly, it's just odd that she even mentioned it in the first place and added on to the other things she has said it just makes me crazy. The friendship wouldn't end if she took them out.

radleyboo · May 2013

AddieL73 said:

I would just hate to see a 26-year friendship ended when you tell her she can't take her teeth out. But I confess I'd kind of like to be a fly on that wall to witness that go down.

Was just going to write this same thing...

Maybe have a quick conversation with her about the dress thing. Say something like, 'I'm so grateful that you've agreed to stand with me on our important day. We took everyone's opinions into considerations for the dress, and we have found something that should work. Feel free to buy the other black dress that you like better, I'm sure it will look great on you.'

And leave it at that. She has no say in flowers or anything else regarding details you and your FI choose.

As for her teeth, I feel badly for her. I can't imagine eating without teeth. It sounds like it's something she deals with often, so I'm sure she'll be discrete. Don't worry about it, no one will be looking at her anyway, they'll be paying attention to you and your FI.

Salsera29 · May 2013

Just my take, but I the way I read the teeth thing was that BM made a point of saying she was going to take out her teeth just to be obnoxious. I think OP is irritated that she made a point of announcing that she was going to take them out, not that she has a problem with her taking them out.

AddieCake · May 2013

CheleLyn said:

LOL, I get it about the teeth and I'm sure she can do it discreetly, it's just odd that she even mentioned it in the first place

It IS odd that she would mention it.

radleyboo · May 2013

Just writing to say that my posts are appearing all out of order and it's making me look like I'm not reading anything before posting. Bllllarrrgh.

NerdyLucy · May 2013

Salsera29 said:

Just my take, but I the way I read the teeth thing was that BM made a point of saying she was going to take out her teeth just to be obnoxious. I think OP is irritated that she made a point of announcing that she was going to take them out, not that she has a problem with her taking them out.

Yeah, that was what I got from it, especially since the BM is already being so obnoxious about the dress, the flowers, etc.

PhoneCardLady · May 2013

NerdyLucy said:

Salsera29 said:

Just my take, but I the way I read the teeth thing was that BM made a point of saying she was going to take out her teeth just to be obnoxious. I think OP is irritated that she made a point of announcing that she was going to take them out, not that she has a problem with her taking them out.

Yeah, that was what I got from it, especially since the BM is already being so obnoxious about the dress, the flowers, etc.

Exactly what I though....

mc4dj13 · May 2013

Maybe you can give her a special bedazzled glass to keep her dentures in at the reception. That keeps everything classy.

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